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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
Would you be mad? re: 4 month appt (LONG)
DS had his 4 month appointment yesterday, and it did not go well. My DS only weighed in at 12 lbs. 6 oz., and the doctor basically told me I'm not feeding him enough.
I nurse him on demand when I'm home (on weekends and two days per week that I work from home). My husband feeds him on demand when I'm at work, but only gives him 4 oz. at a time because he's a major spitter and keeps that amount down well with minimal spitting up. The doctor heard that we only give him 4 oz. bottles, and before I could explain that: 1) he's the one who told us to do more frequent but smaller feedings at our last appointment; and 2) our DS will just spit up a ton if we give him more than that, the doctor was talking loudly over me about how he should be getting at least 6 oz. bottles at a time. I couldn't get a word in.
For one, if we give him 6 oz. bottles at one sitting, he will literally spit up the excess amount and just waste it. He'll still be hungry again in two hours. I have to pump this milk (and I pump a lot), so anything being wasted just makes me cringe. Additionally, I leave the baby with about 24 oz. of milk while I'm at work, and he usually goes through 20 oz. of it. If he's being fed on demand but isn't eating enough as the doctor alleges, wouldn't he go through all of it? Finally, I would estimate he's eating between 35-40 oz. of milk per day. I would have to supplement with formula to give him more ounces per day.
I feel like the doctor just wasn't listening to me. Instead of hearing me out and giving us some suggestions to deal with the major spitting, he just told me to give him bigger bottles and gave me some pointless handout on GERD even though none of us think he has reflux. Personally, I just think we have a skinny baby. Other than his lower weight, he's super happy and looks great!
I really liked this doctor up until yesterday, but now I just feel like a shitty mother who is starving her child. Would you ladies be pissed and looking for a new ped? Any suggestions about how to deal with this? Can anyone relate? Help. . .
My son is toddling his way to two!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Would you be mad? re: 4 month appt (LONG)
I think I'd give the pedi a chance to redeem themselves at your 6 month appointment. I thought my pedi was a total fat baby Nazi at Eli's 2 month appointment and at his 4 month, we were all sick and she wrote ME a prescription for antibiotics because I told her we had a high deductible and I wasn't going to the doctor (she said I needed to get well immediately and get some sleep). Every doctor has a bad day.
But no, not listening to me when I explain things would not go over well. I would be writing about it on the Bump too.
Give the doc another chance and remind yourself that he ultimately has your LO's best interest at heart (as do you). Perhaps he needs to work on his bedside manner, but is it possible that you may also not like what's he's saying? Would you have a problem supplementing your BM with formula?
I pump and bottle feed my daughter also and I know how much hard work it is (I give any mom who does it a TON of credit). Maybe its not the number of ounces your baby is eating, but rather the calories in your milk supply. My daughter only eats 4 oz bottles of BM and is in the 90th percentile for weight. Perhaps you can ask the doctor (or do some research) about ways to increase the calories in your milk...not sure if that's possible but its worth looking into. Hope it all works out!
What percentile is he in height?
For what it is worth, my son is 75% for height and 25% for weight. He is just long and skinny. So is my H. I am short but have a very low BMI. I am not surprised my son is skinny. I also feed on demand. He is happy, very alert, etc. I am not worried.
I would be furious. The important question is whether your DS stayed on the same curve on the weight percentiles. My DD is 5.5 months and at 5 mos weighed 13 lbs 7 oz and was 25 1/2 inches long (she has reflux so we went in for a weight check so they could adjust her Zantac dose). At 4 months she was 12 lbs 6 oz and 24 1/2 inches. She is not fat at all and the pedi is fine with that. She also still only takes 4 or 4.5 oz bottles 90% of the time. She nurses on demand when I am with her (weekends and evenings) and my mom gives her bottles on demand when I am at work. What good does it do you to give him bigger bottles if he just spits it up?
I would make another appointment w/ your pedi for asap. Explain to him your issues, ask if DS has fallen in the percentiles and ask why (specificially) he thinks DS needs to gain more weight. If he isn't willing to spend the time to tell you this stuff and/or doesn't have good answers, I would find a new pediatrician. There have been tons of articles lately about how maybe it isn't that great for babies to be super fat and chubby so unless there is a specific health reason for him to be concerned I would tell him to pound sand. All babies are different and BF babies tend to gain weight more slowly than FF babies anyway.
FWIW, my DS has dropped down in the percentiles. BUT, I had to start out supplementing him with formula for the first (almost) 2 months due to supply issues on my part. Now, my supply has caught up so he's only getting BM. Given that, I feel like his weight trend makes sense. However, I'm no doctor and I realize this. He is in the 75th percentile for height.
I will look into the BM calorie thing. That's an interesting point.
My DD was 12 lbs 15 oz at her 4 month appt and so 12 lbs 6 oz, doesn't seem that small to me. What did your LO weigh at birth? Also, is he in the same percentile for height and weight? These are all factors that would contribute to whether or not he's gaining enough weight.
Also, my DD is EFF (has been since about 10 weeks, due to my milk completely drying up) and she gets 4, 4 oz bottles and 5, 5 oz bottles a day. Our pediatrician was perfectly fine with this amount.
He weighed 7 lbs. 8 oz. at birth. He is in the 75th percentile for length, and I guess well below the 25th percentile for weight.
I seriously feel awful, like I'm doing everything wrong.
You're not doing anything wrong! This is just another challenge you need to find an answer to. Maybe it is a new doctor or maybe it is some alteration to the feedings or maybe your DS will start a growth spurt and things will even themselves out. BTW, did your ped recommend giving him vitamins if he is so concerned that your DS is not gaining enough weight?
It is very clear that you love your son as much as any mother could...don't blame yourself!!
My DD is EBF on demand and was 10.5 pounds (37 %ile) and 24 inches (95%ile) at her 2 month appointment. At 3 months, she weighed 11.5 pounds (10-25%ile) and was 26 inches (97%ile). My doctor did not say anything about this drop in percentile and I would have been upset if she had ignored me.
Oh and when she does get bottles, she only eats about 3 ounces.
Don't feel bad, you are doing what you need to for your child.
Based on what our Pedi told us, your LO sounds about where they should be. We were told they should be gaining 1-2 pounds a month. The only something was said regarding DS weight was when he had only gained 12oz instead of at least a pound.
Dh and I also only feed as much as DS can handle at a time. He has only recently moved up to 5oz bottles, but still gets a 4 oz as his first and last bottle of the day due to going right to sleep afterwards. If we feed even 1/2 oz more before he's ready it just comes right back up so why waste the formula it cost too much to just have it spit out.
BTW our DS was 7lb12oz at birth, 9lb4oz at one month and 10 lb at 2 months which is when the Dr. said she'd like to him to gain AT LEAST a full pound per month. We estimate his weight at 3 months to be around 11.5pounds and his length was 24in. We'll see where he is for his 4months next Friday.
Instead of upping the oz per feeding we just fed him a bit more often.
So don't worry, you are doing fine and it sounds like your LO is as well.