So after my c/s, DH thinks...

wannabmommy · April 2010

I'm having a repeat c/s on Thursday. When I was doing my pre-registration, they reminded me that immediately after the LO is delivered that I can see LO for a moment before LO and DH leave the operating room. I obviously stay to finish my surgery and then go to recovery, where I am not allowed to see anyone. Finishing up surgery and being in recovery will be 1-2 hours after I see DH/LO (I had complications with my first [emergency] c/s so they are taking precautions). So DH tells me tonight that his parents (who will be watching DC) will be waiting at the hospital and will therefore be there to see the LO while I'm in recovery. It occurred to me that this means that DC will then see LO for awhile before I am and I would love to be able to see DC's reaction in meeting LO. DH doesn't quite see why it's such a big deal. His thought is that I'll be able to join them as soon as I can and it will be different once I arrive back to the room.

Would this be an issue for you or maybe am I just being hormonal in the few days before I have my c/s? I kind of feel like I should be able to say that I would prefer that ILs and DC (who is just a toddler, so it's not like I'm trying to keep an anxious 12 year old waiting) wait until I'm out of recovery.

KKWISC · April 2010

I see where you are coming from completely. I would see if your IL's could wait till you were out of recovery and had some time with LO and DH and then bring DC by. Mention it to DH and your IL's and gauge their reaction. GL with your c/s!

RitaT22 · April 2010

I don't think it's an unreasonable request. You want it to be a family moment in which you, obviously are a part of.

ToBeMcInerney · April 2010

I would really want to see DC's reaction, I would feel really left out. I don't think you are being hormonal, I totally understand. I would just tell DH how important it is for you to be there, that it's already going to be hard enough on you waiting in recovery.

mrstarawalsh · April 2010

I think you're being a bit hormonal. I'm in the same spot you are and while I get DS will be seeing his sister for the first time without me, it doesn't bug me. It WOULD bug me, though if anyone but DH was allowed to hold DD before me.

ArmyWifeand Mommy · April 2010

My parents are keeping my DD at home until my DH calls them and tells them we are in my room together. I have expressed that I want to be holding LO when DD comes in to meet her baby sister. My mom thinks its completely understandable. My DD is 2 and 1/2, so I think its silly to keep her at the hospital when she could be at home playing and come to the hospital when things have settled down.

BrittH05 · April 2010

I would be a HUGE issue for me. But I also do not get along with my MIL. But I would just tell him you want the 1st few huours to just be with you and that LO will be with the nurses at that time anyway and they can come an d see you when you have been released that is just me though.

vievie88 · April 2010

If it were me I would tell them how you feel, that it is something you want to see. So ask them to wait...I would ask them to wait for me.

That being said they probably will not listen, people get way to excited and don't want to wait any longer then they have to.

What we did for my sister in law (this mattered to her too) We made sure that it was all on video for her. 2 video cameras because we know that some people video some things more than others. I like people reactions not just the craziness going on everywhere else) Can you tell this was important to all of us as well!

The second daddy came out with the baby and big brother (he was 3) got to see the baby and then they took the baby to do the test, weigh the baby and all of that. It was great.

So that is an idea. You would then be able to see it anytime you want. I know it is not the same but some IL's just don't listen! GL

winterOT · April 2010

I do not think that you have an unrealistic request. (Note to self: Make sure DH understands my 'plan' regarding post c/s!) My mother is keeping DS and hoping that I am out of recovery and with DC prior to DS arriving with my mom! So I am right there with you!! Good luck with your c/s (I'm in the same boat as you..with emergency with DS and tons of extra precautions this time!)

CarolinaKatie · April 2010

I totally understand your POV. I want to be there when my son meets his new baby brother. I want to remember that all my life! That moment of my boys meeting will only happen once!

We're hoping for a vbac, but even if we have to have a scheduled c/s, I don't think I want my parents or ILs there with my son. I'd rather him come after we're settled a bit and I'm not all dopey on drugs. Have no idea how long that will be. All depends on when baby is born and all that. Maybe even the next day.

amanda7304 · April 2010

Completely understand! I am having a repeat section too and my parents are not bringing DD to the hospital until the following day when I am feeling a bit better....coming off those drugs for me was hard. Plus....I don't want anyone to see or hold my new babe (besides DH) before me! I told him that his parents can also come the day following the birth!

MoniqueJW · April 2010

I think that sounds perfectly reasonable

if I had a DC, i'd want to be there when they met their sibling for the first time too!!!! just tell him & in-laws that they can wait until you are out & in recovery - I imagine it'll be quite a special moment!!!

DandaLion · April 2010

This actually happened to my SIL because she had an emergency c-section with her first and she ended up being the LAST person to hold her own baby. She was devastated about it and felt like she missed out on a lot. With her second, she made my brother promise that the only one to see/hold the baby before she can is him (not even their oldest daughter or her parents, etc). Because of this I have made it a rule to my SO that no one (aside from him or Dr's and nurses) is allowed to see/hold/touch the baby before I am able to. Plus, I can't wait to see my family's faces when they see our LO for the first time. Its only an hour or two that they would have to wait...I say have him wait until you are out of recovery.

Addicted2thenot · April 2010

Hi

OMG you are about to have that baby, WOW

I would not handle that well, I would want to see the reaction also

but youhave to keep in mind that DH may not want to be alone for the two hours you are in recovery... Maybe his parents could split up & one keep DD until you are out.. one be with DH

GOOD LUCK MOMMA!

sacey21 · April 2010

I think that I would feel the same way that you do.

RivieraMaya05 · April 2010

I had a HORRIBLE c-section experiance with my 1st. Prior to him being born, out of the blue I told my husband that he was not to let anyone see the baby before I did. I told my mom the same thing just in case for some reason I was put under. I never thought it would actually happen but I wanted to be as prepad as possible and wanted everyone to know my wishes.

IT WAS THE SMARTEST THING I EVER DID. I did have to unexpectedly be knocked out during my c/s and didn't get to see LO for 4 hours! DH stayed with him the entire time but at one point my MIL tried to sneak off to the nursery and get a glimps. Thankfully my mom stopped her.

Stick to your guns. I would be horribly upset if my son me his sister for the first time and I wasn't there to see his face.

danalynnrd · April 2010

I totally didn't even think of this!! Now I am worried about this as well! Ugh!

mrsjenni · April 2010

Wow, absolutely not. I'd want the same exact thing and your DH needs to respect that. They waited 9 months, they can wait another hour so that the MOTHER can see her 2 babies meet each other for the first time.

mysticporter · April 2010

I think it's very understandable, and I don't see the rush for IL's and DC to get to see LO when you are in recovery. Why not have IL's stay at home with DC until you are out of recovery, then you, DH, and new LO can have a few moments with the three of you while they get to the hospital? Plus, then all of you will be together when DC visits. It seems like that would be better for DC, as well, not having to wait around in a waiting room or not understanding why new LO is there but not mommy.

Want a personalized experience?

So after my c/s, DH thinks...

Re: So after my c/s, DH thinks...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards