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So frustrated with DH! (IVF mentioned)

jdeats71jdeats71
in TTC After a Loss

I have been totally MIA lately!  I hope you ladies had a great weekend.

I swear everytime I bring up the topic of IVF ----

what are we going to do?  are we going to do another IUI?  2 more?  Which IVF program are we going to do?  costs?  blah, blah, blah.....

Everytime I approach the subject, DH doesn't want to talk about it!  We had our RE appt last Wednesday and we've yet to really talk about it.

I think we are both in agreement to try one more IUI but we can't decide which IVF program we want to do.  There is a huge cost difference between our options.  In a nutshell - Option #1 - One time shot (obviously less) and Option #2 - at least 2 fresh and possible 2 frozen cycles at a reduced rate.  I am a little worried about - and no pun intended - all our eggs in one basket.  the multiple cycle option is more expensive but it gives us more than one shot.

he is totally freaked out by the cost but we really need to figure it out in the next couple of weeks what we want to do. 

I feel like I need to send him an appointment to discuss!

vent over......

 

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Re: So frustrated with DH! (IVF mentioned)

  • kmountkmount member
    If you go with option #2, can you use those eggs for a future pregnancy if the first one takes?  Not that that will necessarily make up your mind, but for me, that would make it more worth it (if you want more than 1 child).  Sorry you have to do all this thinking in the first place :(  I wish you the best on your IUI and hope you can leave it at that.
    m/c 12/20/09 @ 5 1/2 weeks ~ CP 1/25/09 @ 4 weeks ~ missed m/c 4/6/10 (stopped growing @ 6 weeks, stayed with me until 10) ~Foster parent to B, 9/10-1/12~ Proud Mother of Gage Stephen, born 12/26/12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • DoingItRightDoingItRight member
    I am sorry that he won't discuss things with you. (((Hugs)))
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers IVF #1 BFP Beta #1 528 & Beta #2 1514
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  • rjl07rjl07

    That sucks.  If you are going to do another IUI this cycle then maybe you can just leave it alone for a few days and give him some time to process everything.  Maybe set aside some quiet time this weekend to try and figure it out. 

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  • surfergirlkonasurfergirlkona
    I am so sorry, this is soooooo frustrating!  I don't have any advice since we are both in the same boat with our DHs... ::insert foul name calling here::  If you are doing another IUI, I really hope that this will be the lucky one for you and then you don't have to worry about IVF and the costs.  I will keep you in my thoughts that the added DH stress subsides quickly ::kicks DH in shins::
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  • companion cubecompanion cube member
    Ugh, that sucks, hope your DH comes around and gets involved in conversation soon!
    DD1 01/09/11 DD2 10/31/12 #3 EDD 10/22/14--Stick baby stick! Always in my heart, 4 sweet angels 2/10, 10/11, 12/11 & 10/13
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  • jdeats71jdeats71

    imagesurfergirlkona:
    I am so sorry, this is soooooo frustrating!  I don't have any advice since we are both in the same boat with our DHs... ::insert foul name calling here::  If you are doing another IUI, I really hope that this will be the lucky one for you and then you don't have to worry about IVF and the costs.  I will keep you in my thoughts that the added DH stress subsides quickly ::kicks DH in shins::

    I know you are going through the same BS!  UGH!

    I am really hoping our next IUI works.  I am currently 9dpo and KNOW I am not pg this cycle.  Because that's not how things work out for me.....Angry

    we'll eventually get on the same page but he is making me crazy.  you are in my T&Ps too......

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  • leneae10leneae10 member

    We haven't thought of IVF yet (we've done IUI), but I will share that my DH will ONLY concern himself with the current cycle at hand and will maybe discuss one step ahead once that cycle is a bust.  He finally told me that it's because it stresses him out, we have no control over it, and he can barely handle the current situation without worrying about the what-if's and strategies of the future.

    I think it's safe to say that women are usually the planners in the family, and we need to see a roadmap of all possibilities.  Sometimes we forget that our husbands are going through this too.  maybe he just needs some time to breathe and get his mind around it.  Or perhaps he's just being an a$$...  I hope you come together soon, it sucks when it feels like you're not on the same page.

    image
    Twin boys born too early at 17w4d and 18w2d in February 2010
    Transabdominal cerclage placed September 2010
    DS born at 35w1d in February 2011
    Twin girls born at exactly 36w in February 2013
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • momagain2009momagain2009 member

    I was in the same boat you are a few months ago.  I just stopped talking about it with him and started making the appointments.  Then when it came time to make a decision he was in the office with me that day and had to make a choice.  It was kind of an ambush but at least it made him finally make a decision with me. 

    I hope he comes around soon, you don't need the added stress right now.

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