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Breastfeeding
In defense of formula feeders
I admit it (flame away if you want, I can take it) but I'm a big breastfeeding advocate and I do judge 99.99% of women who CHOOSE not to do it. As long as I've been alive I've only met one woman I didn't judge, and she couldn't BF because she was discovered to be born without milk ducts!
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Re: In defense of formula feeders
I don't judge. I would have given up before 6 weeks was up if I hadn't found the perfect lactation consultant to help me - and I was totally dedicated to BF as a pregnant mom-to-be, but I had issues and it was very hard to find help.
I blame our country's absolutely atrocious lack of support, information, and help for breastfeeding mothers. You hear "breast is best" over and over but when you leave the hospital who's there for you? Usually no one. Then you go to work and you're trying to pump in a bathroom while falling behind on work... it's really hard and our society isn't helping mothers succeed.
I so agree with you. I get so frustrated for women who are told that they "can't" BF or are made to think they should freak out if their milk hasn't come in after a few days, and then supplement unnecessarily.
Honestly, boobies worked for thousands of years. They didn't all of a sudden stop working last century.
Me too! My friend just had a baby and was told that because her baby lost some weight after the birth (normal) she had to supplement with formula. Then at her pedi appt they told her the baby wasn't gaining enough so she should only nurse 10 min per side and supplement with formula. My friend said the baby was nursing perfectly well but preferred to stay on one side for a long time until she was full - she was told that was not okay! By pediatricians! She was smart enough to just follow her instincts but to me it's no wonder that so many women quit BFing when that's the kind of "support" that's out there.
I agree that there is not enough support for breastfeeding mothers in this country.
Also- that article is an example of how to lie with statistics. She says "In fact, they are the majority of us: Only 14 percent of American women are exclusively breastfeeding at the six-month point. They must have some reason beyond massive indifference to their babies' health."
I think that 14% number still means that more women are BFing at 6 mo. but that they introduced solids earlier, not formula.
I totally agree on the lack of support. My hospital has a great breastfeeding center with fantastic lactation consultants. I had trouble from the start and without their support I wouldn't be breastfeeding now. If people do not have support I can understand why they give up.
amen
My friend who IS a pediatrician told me how shocked she was that one of her patients had not started on solids by 6 months and that the mother was "still" BFing him. I was so stunned I didn't even think to bring out the AAP recommendation about EBF for 6 months. Talk about lack of knowledge.
My other friend is a PA, did the L&D and pediatric rotations, etc., and she told me that in her pediatric rotation, they said that all babies should be given at least some formula "to get them used to the taste." Also that you should stop BFing when babies have teeth or can ask for it. Argh.
However, these articles always have the terrible effect of making people judgy. No one should judge another mom for not BFing - I have PCOS and I don't make enough milk and none of my health professionals picked that up, so everything I've tried has come from the internet. Women get no help with latching, education, etc. The breastfeeding classes at the hospitals here are separate from the birth classes. If you can't afford the all-at-once expense of a $200 pump, is it really realistic that you will be able to pump at work (especially at an unsupportive job) with a hand pump?
So no, you shouldn't judge. And yes, more women should be able to BF. But these governmental stances are basically unfunded mandates that are not well thought out or supported.
Also some moms think they're not making enough milk because baby is hungry every 1-2 hours when BFing. Thet never understand that it's normal b/c BM is so easily digested by baby not b/c they're not getting enough milk.
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"Honestly, boobies worked for thousands of years. They didn't all of a sudden stop working last century."
i kind of have to throw in my 2 cents on this...in the past century...the abundance of hormones, high fructose corn syrup, unnecessary chemicals, additives, and preservatives in our food i think has taken it's toll on our bodies and obviously have only been widely available in the past century. if girls are having their periods at a younger and younger age due to these things, why would/could it not affect breastfeeding and milk supply- another action of the body that relies on hormone and hormone-balances for it to work properly?
I admit, I'm judgy as well. On people that give up or supplement without even trying.
I do admit, that in the beginning with my 1st baby, the hormones were getting the better of me, latch on hurt like a mofo, the baby seemed unsatisified, blah, blah, blah.... I tearfully asked my DH if we should give her some formula (from the 10 or so sample cans we received) He was my rock, he was the one that reminded me of what we learned in the BF'ing class I made him take with me (he complained). The baby's tummy is the size of a walnut. They ARE getting enough! The senerio I had just asked him was TEXTBOOK, what the instructor told us would happen! I'm sooooooooo glad we took that class and KNEW this was common. I did not supplement. It stopped hurting and I went on to BF until DD was 13 months, never having a drop of formula. My 2nd will be the same.
I tell all expectant moms to take a BF'ing class! If they want to BF, that is THE single most imortant thing they can do and to be sure that their DH goes with them!
That article says; "Like, maybe it's hard to do? Or it hurts? Or, as with two of my dear friends, the whole thing never kicked in" I agree, it hurts at first. It is hard to do... at first. Take it one day at a time, don't supplement, nurse on demand and usually it will work out! Once you start to supplement it's a nasty cycle that usually ends in the stoppage of BF'ing.
I don't judge. I had to supplement with my son and I don't really regret doing so. He lost more than 15% of his body weight, didn't have enough diapers, and would latch, unlatch SCREAM, latch again because there wasn't a damn thing coming out of my nipples. It was hard to find information that would work to boost my supply and I didn't have enough time to wait for somethign to work before chosing to supplement, DS was getting sick. I had a c-section with minimal hard labor. With c-section moms with little labor sometimes your body doesn't get the "memo" to start producing milk. So I choose to supplement until my supply increased (it didn't come in fully until DS was a good month old). It got to the point where he was exclusively breastfed for a few months before I went back to school. Then we switched to supplementing again because I couldn't let down for a pump
Many women can't let down for a pump. I remember sitting with that thing hooked up to my boobs for a half an hour and only getting half an ounce. I had to go to school about 3 months after DS was born. Was I supposed to let him starve while I was in class? Hell no. He got formula when I was in school, and he nursed when I was at home.
BTW, I breastfed for 13 months even though I had to supplement so anyone who thinks all moms who suppement will give up are very misinformed.
I'm hoping this time around we have better luck since I can A. bring baby to work with me and B. know lots of tricks to increase supply. I won't be going through trial and error with this baby. I'm really hoping to exclusively breastfeed because I know that's what would be best. But I'm not going to beat myself up if it doesn't happen nor let anyone do so for me.
Judging someone for not breastfeeding is like judging someone for driving a car and not walking. Sure, walking is probably somewhat safer and healthier, and if you have the time, more power to you, but in this day and age, there's nothing wrong with taking advantage of technology if it serves your purposes.
I'm all for breastfeeding, but I agree with the basic premise of the article, which is that it's more important to be devoted to your child and love them than it is to break your back to breastfeed. And no, there's no way to statistically separate formula and breast feeders from parents who love their kids more, so I wish people wouldn't act like it.
I don't judge....bfing is by far the hardest thing I've done twice in my life now. I do agree 100% with the 2 pp that said it's lack of education, support, and cultural barriers that make it SO hard for a woman to succeed in this country. I've personally been told "it hurts so much, formula is easier because you can see what they are eating, you can't nurse after they have teeth, they'd sleep better if you gave formula, you'll never keep up back at work", etc etc.
I wish society would put its money where its mouth is when we are all told Breast is best, but no one supports that.
Boobs didn't stop working, but a lot of people whose boobs don't work would never get the chance to breastfeed because they are infertile. There are a lot of people with hormonal problems that wouldn't have babies without medical intervention. If your hormones are out of whack and make you infertile, they can also give you low supply.