Arg! My MIL...
Married2MrWright
member
So Friday DH had off (he requested it off because we thought a friend was flying in to visit, but that guy flaked...) and I did too (it's rare for us to both be off together) so I suggested we drive down to see his mom, stepdad and brother. They hadn't seen Libby since she was about 4 weeks old (when they came up that one time to meet her) and that was nearly 8 weeks ago!
So we got up, loaded up the CRV and drove 2 hours down there. Libby had a meltdown before we left but then she settled down and slept the whole way there. She woke up right when we arrived and was happy! Yay! I am glad she got to visit her grandparents and uncle in a good mood.
A few hours went by and she got fussy so I nursed her and she was just about to fall asleep when my MIL's friend stopped by to "see the baby". Okay. Well, the baby was halfway under my shirt nursing and almost asleep. This lady, whom I've never met before reaches over, touching Libby and says, "can I hold her?" Um. Hello? It was so weird. I was fumbling around and then MIL says, "She came over just to see my Libby...let her hold her!" I was stunned. Libby was nearly asleep and although I didn't want to do it, I handed her over to this lady. Well of course, Libby woke up and cried. I felt terrible. I'll never do that again. It felt wrong at the time but I didn't know what to do. So I asked for her back and then my MIL says to her friend, "she's a spoiled little baby." WTF? She's 2.5 months old and was nursing peacefully to slumber land and then handed over to a complete stranger. I'd cry too!
That lady left saying something like, "Well I have a granddaughter due in July so I guess I'll just have to wait until then..." Whatev. We had lunch and afterwards my MIL served coconut creme pie topped with merengue. My SFIL held Libby while DH and I ate our pie. Out of the corner of my eye I see my MIL stand up with a huge blob of merengue on her finger. Next thing I know she's headed towards Libby on her husband's lap! I blurt out, "Uh...is that for Libby? No thank you, please!" WTF??!?!?!? Who feeds dessert to an infant? And further more who does it without asking the parents' permission?
I told her that Libby only gets mommy's milk and will continue to do so until she's 6 months old. Then she lectures me on how she fed my DH rice in his bottle of formula from the time he was 6 weeks old and then was taking rice cereal on a spoon when he was Libby's age. All I could say is that times have changed and the recommendation to start solids later with babies unless they have reflux. She said she had to do it because he was so hungry all the time...she couldn't even breastfeed him because he was so hungry! I didn't say a thing (mind you...many women used to think their babies were hungry "all the time" because they wanted to nurse every 2-3 hours, which is completely normal!) and then she said that if we would give her rice in a bottle we'd get a full night's sleep rather than have to wake up every 4 or 5 hours. I just said that we sleep fine (which is true...we get 8-10 hours each night because we bed-share and she nurses while I sleep) and Libby's obviously getting enough to eat since she's off the charts for her weight and growth.
Normally my MIL and I get along fine, but since I've had the baby she's hell-bent on lecturing me on how she did it with my DH and tries to do weird stuff (like singing a song in a scary voice to Libby because it used to make DH laugh when he was little...well Libby cried and then she called her spoiled again). 
Re: Arg! My MIL...
I know of a grandmother who just sealed her fate never to be asked to babysit. Geez.
Where in CA are you from? I'm also from CA and live about two hours from you in NW Arkansas.
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
I am from San Francisco and DH is from San Diego...we met in San Jose and lived there for 8 years. We relocated to Tulsa in 2008 to be closer to my MIL (she lives near Fort Smith...in Heavener, near Poteau) and Tulsa was the closest city that I was willing to relocate to...so I found a job and we packed it up and headed East. I miss CA terribly but I do enjoy the lower cost of living here and the four seasons. My goal in 2010 is to make some friends here (we've nearly been here 2 years and I am ready to have some girlfriends and couples friends...we only know co-workers and my mom moved here when we decided to TTC). If you ever want to GTG, let me know! I know another Bumpie/Nestie who is from SoCal and lives in Owasso. We Cali girls gotta stick together!
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
What is it with MILs??
My MIL has become hyper critical of EVERY blessed thing I do. She's too hot, she's hungry, you need to get rid of the pacifier, you need to take her out more and on and on and on.
I'm pretty sure she feels left out, but really I'm not interested in spending time with someone who doesn't have basic social skills, and can't work out not to boss around her DIL who's new to motherhood. I don't care if she is my DD's grandmother.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
You doing things the way she did them is a huge endorsement on her parenting. It was quite common (in some places still is) to overfeed a baby. The rice makes a baby feel full and content, but it isn't more nutritious than breast milk. In fact, a lot less. So even though a baby has a full belly, baby would be better off nursing every few hours.
So anyway, don't go too hard on her. She sounds desperate to hear her way was good and healthy *best*. Obviously, you can't. But don't get tripped up about her judging you.
Anyway, it gets better. Just brace yourself for when MIL thinks you should start potty training at 9 months.
I'm from the bay area too! I like in OKC now
Your MIL sounds like a nut!
OMG. Of all the things to try to feed a baby... egg whites. Way to pick something highly allergenic grandma!!
Sorry you wasted your day off visiting them!
Don't be afraid to stand your ground. She's had her turn to raise a baby, now it's your turn.
When someone tells me that they used to give us food when we were newborns or give us bottles of water, I tell them something like, "I know! Isn't it amazing all the stuff ya'll used to do that doctors warn against now?! Between stuffing us with rice cereal and not using carseats it's a wonder any of us are still alive!"
Ooh! You're pretty close...we should GTG...I gaven't found any AP moms around here (yet)...how about you?
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
I would be so upset! I really hope I don't have MIL problems (we get along great now, hopefully that will continue...)
I just wanted to say that I live in AR too (near Fort Smith). It's pretty cool that there are so many AP moms nearby!