help! pt and poop?

aprilprincess · April 2010

will anyone else's kid not poop in the toilet?

Addie will not do it. we are putting her in diapers at night, we tried without and she wet the bed 3 times in a night!! so she was saving #2 until she got a diaper at night. well no more. she'll go in her underwear and deny it. when you peel them off her to change she screams and has a total freak out, god forbid some touches her (but somehow it can sit in her underwear and she doesn't care). i've given a shot at leaving her in it but she could care less. i've taken away things for poop accidents and offered rewards if she does it in the potty. nothing. she'll go in her underpants, turn off the wii and say "i have a poop, no more wii till tomorrow" we've sanged, we've danced about pooping in the potty. we've read books and watched elmo do it on tv. we've even sat on the potty for up to an hour waiting for one to fall. (sorry tmi). this has been weeks, so i don't think she's feeling too much pressure or anything either, i've been building up gradually so she doesn't get stressed out.

anyone else have this issue? how did you fix it?

savannah11 · April 2010

I wish I had the answer but O does the same thing. One weekend I very sternly told him he could not poop in his pants and he held it for two days, despite repeated trips to the potty to wait for it. This week I purchased a sticker chart and two books about poop in hopes of encouraging it. I don't know if it will work though. He keeps telling me he'll poop on the potty when he turns 4. I'm tempted to lie and tell him he's 4 now.

rayskit10 · April 2010

truitt has issues with #2 as well. there was a lot of chatter about this on the heights kids forum a couple months ago. one of truitt's issues is that at first he would hold it, then when he finally had to go it hurt. per another mom and my pedi, i put some miralax (stool softener) in some choc milk. it made it easy for him to go and sort of prevented him from holding it.

but i can say based on the heights kids emails, i was prepared for issues with poop. it's very common. in fact, i would say it's the norm. truitt is getting better. basically we make a really big deal when he does go on the potty and that has helped even more than being disappointed when he ha san accident.

aprilprincess · April 2010

rayskit10:
truitt has issues with #2 as well. there was a lot of chatter about this on the heights kids forum a couple months ago. one of truitt's issues is that at first he would hold it, then when he finally had to go it hurt. per another mom and my pedi, i put some miralax (stool softener) in some choc milk. it made it easy for him to go and sort of prevented him from holding it.

but i can say based on the heights kids emails, i was prepared for issues with poop. it's very common. in fact, i would say it's the norm. truitt is getting better. basically we make a really big deal when he does go on the potty and that has helped even more than being disappointed when he ha san accident.

she hasn't been able to hold it long enough for it to hurt, it's just like she stopped caring. we've been trying to make a big deal about how easy it is, even showing her how mommy does it (sorry for that mental picture). there are stickers for attempts and fruit snacks for when it actually happens.

i agree it is the norm, and i was fine with her waiting for her diaper or on occasional accident. but now it doesn't seem like an accident ya know? she knows it's coming and just does it on purpose.

has anyone tried the underwear/pants free approach? she only has the poop accidents at home, maybe it's worth a shot.

also, on dr radio the other day someone said they taped a diaper to the toilet and cut a whole in it. sounded far fetched but we may give it a shot.

eta: i know my stress isn't going to help her, so even when she does have accidents there's no yelling or anything. just want to be clear that i am frustrated here but i'm doing my best not to show her. i don't want my stress to keep her from pooping more! i'm just out of ideas so i posted. no one said i am stressing her out, but my own craziness needed that said.

kat.in.the.hat · April 2010

I'd try the underwear free approach and see how that goes. also, she may be big enough to help clean herself up if she has a poop accident, thinks like washing out her underwear and wiping herself off.

another thing that i've heard of is that if you're using a ring insert for the potty instead of a sit on porta-potty is that sometimes they don't like the way their feet feel just dangling when they have to strain to poop. It might make it a little easier if you try a sit on potty (if you've been using a ring insert already.)

rayskit10 · April 2010

one of the things that i have heard is that controlling their bodily functions is a way of controlling their world, the only thing that they can really control. it makes sense when you think about it.

so based on that train of thought i would definitely try the no pants approach too but honestly, if it was me i would wait until you move. if you think that the above theory makes any sense, she is probably going to want to hold on to what she can control during a time of huge change for your family. i would wait a few more weeks until you are settled in to the new house.

savannah11 · April 2010

We tried the no pants thing, the weekend he held it for almost two days. The second day I knew he really had to go so we kept him inside without pants. I really thought it would work that morning. He kept saying the poop was coming soon and begging for some pants. We took him upstairs every time and had him sit on the potty to try. We sang songs and read books and kept him there as long as possible. After a while he'd get off and say it didn't work. Then 10 minutes later we'd go through the whole thing again. This went on for a couple of hours until he lost the urgency. That afternoon we had some work to do outside so we put pants on him. He hid on the side of the house and pooped in them. *sigh* Maybe if we had kept him pants free the whole afternoon it might have worked but he seemed adamant on holding it.

Nanner · April 2010

rayskit10:

one of the things that i have heard is that controlling their bodily functions is a way of controlling their world, the only thing that they can really control. it makes sense when you think about it.

so based on that train of thought i would definitely try the no pants approach too but honestly, if it was me i would wait until you move. if you think that the above theory makes any sense, she is probably going to want to hold on to what she can control during a time of huge change for your family. i would wait a few more weeks until you are settled in to the new house.

I completely agree with Viula on this. With such an upheaval coming for her, even if you get her to go on the toilet before you move, the move could cause 2 steps back.

And the control thing? YES. Funny, this just came up last night. We were going out to eat, and as we were walking through the shopping center to the restaurant, Sam was holding himself. We asked him if he needed to go, and he said no. We sat down to eat, and not 2 minutes later he said, "I have to go to the bathroom." DH asked, "Why does he always do that?" And I said, "He's a control freak, that's why." Unf. I don't think it's just an age thing for him. He wants to be in control of everything. Hmm, I wonder where he gets that from, DH?

ginanddavid · April 2010

Michael will NOT poop in the potty. i think we got one little "pill" one time and an accidental poop at the babysitters. At first, when we were DEMANDING the poop in the potty, he would hold it in... so i freaked and had to baby talk him into pooping... "just poop in your pull up, mama will change it!" just so he'd poop...

Now, he runs and hides. I'll say "what are you doing under the high chair or in the corner, or in grandma's closet" and i KNOW he's pooping when he yells "HUSH! Don't touch me". i've tried grabbing him and running to the restroom as i rip off his pull up, but he will hold it in and say "poop gone gone" until i put a new pull up on him and within a matter of minutes, he's pooped in his pull up.

i'm not so thrilled about the idea of letting him run around without anything on... i'd rather clean poop out of underwear than off my floor... yuck!

aprilprincess · April 2010

Nanner:
rayskit10:

one of the things that i have heard is that controlling their bodily functions is a way of controlling their world, the only thing that they can really control. it makes sense when you think about it.

so based on that train of thought i would definitely try the no pants approach too but honestly, if it was me i would wait until you move. if you think that the above theory makes any sense, she is probably going to want to hold on to what she can control during a time of huge change for your family. i would wait a few more weeks until you are settled in to the new house.

I completely agree with Viula on this. With such an upheaval coming for her, even if you get her to go on the toilet before you move, the move could cause 2 steps back.

And the control thing? YES. Funny, this just came up last night. We were going out to eat, and as we were walking through the shopping center to the restaurant, Sam was holding himself. We asked him if he needed to go, and he said no. We sat down to eat, and not 2 minutes later he said, "I have to go to the bathroom." DH asked, "Why does he always do that?" And I said, "He's a control freak, that's why." Unf. I don't think it's just an age thing for him. He wants to be in control of everything. Hmm, I wonder where he gets that from, DH?

yup, you all have a good point, we will wait till we move. and it is a total control thing. now that addie realized all she has to do is say she has to go potty and we stop on roadtrips. many many times.

lilycat · April 2010

We used to have this issue. It seemed like our son just didn't understand or wasn't comfortable with the whole process.

We tackled it this way:

He pooped at around the same time each evening, never at school.

We sat a potty seat in front of the coffee table, gave him crayons and paper, and put on an engrossing kids' movie. He sat there all evening a few times a week - sometimes he would end up pooping in the potty. Sometimes not.

The times he was successful we were able to praise him and explain things to him. He has the opportunity to get used to the sensation and series of events. That work paid off eventually.

We worked on getting him to do it for real. He seemed to work that part out on his own - he just started wanting to go on the potty. It just took a lot to get him to understand what a great idea it was - that it was not scary or weird.

Good luck. It is a difficult thing for many kids. If you think about it, it is very different than what they're used to.

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