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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Pity Party / F/U to "I think we're done"
Original Post:
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/35098913.aspx
So, yeah, I suck: I told all you girls on TB before I told Bun. To be honest, I was a bit nervous. I mean, what do you say? "I know we just had a baby and you don't want to marry me but if I am ever going to procreate again, we have a year and a half to make it happen."
Well, I told him. He reacted the way I thought he would. Silence. A lot of sighing. Some head-holding. Asking what exactly a hysterectomy is. Wondering why we have to worry about this. That sort of thing. And then, "You decide what is best for you, and we'll go from there."
I called my Dad, to tell him (because, well, he's my dad) and he essentially said, "Oh well. Don't worry about it."
A good friend's reaction: "You didn't want more kids anyway, right?"
...I can't figure out if I feel sad because this is all happening, or just angry that no one in my "real" life seems to get how big a deal it is.
At least I have the Bump.
Jack Anderson
2.28.10
Our amazing little man.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Pity Party / F/U to "I think we're done"
As always, I love you. Bun might just need time to process.
Oh, if you want me to come down there to help you go boobie shopping, let me know?
Inappropriate? Yes? No?
:P You know how I love an inappropriately timed boob comment, Shawty.
If I told you I needed you to be here tomorrow, could we make that happen?
Thanks girls. I think I'm just really overwhelmed. I typically have to discuss everything to death before I can be "okay" with it. And normally I do this with Bun, my BFF, my Meep...
But in this situation, I think everyone in my real life is just beginning to shut down. So much has happened recently (like my multiple hospitalizations while pregnant, us almost dying in childbirth, and Jack being in NICU) that I think they just aren't ready to deal with news like this yet. And honestly, I'm not either. But, here it is.
I don't want to miss the things that my Mom missed. It broke her heart that she never got to meet her grandchildren. But you don't think about that sort of thing at 23. : I just wish I had someone to tell me what the right decision is.
I just read your OP and just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers. *HUGS*
If you need anyone to talk to, I am here.
I'm sure you are right... Although, my Dad is one of those uber-religious "I wish I could die so I'd be in heaven" types, so I doubt he'll ever understand...
But, it feels so much better to talk to you guys about it than to not talk about it at all. I want to just scream! But that would do nothing except interrupt Bun's D&D game, and we'd hate to do that.
Hugs!!!
That is a lot to deal with and to process. I'm like you in the fact that I need to talk something out a lot before I can deal with it. It drives DH insane!!! Luckily, you have all of us to vent to and discuss things with. Don't feel like you're talking our ears off. We're all here for you.
I read your original post but didn't get a chance to respond. I am sorry Anne that really is a lot to hear in one day!
Even if you may or may not want more kids its hard to have someone take that choice from you at such a young age! Its always nice to know the option is there! I hope you make a decision you're at peace with!
Aw crappity that sucks.Your friend's response really bothers me. I had a friend tell me after a m/c that it was for the best because something was wrong with the baby. Ugh.
I'm sending you some cyber sympathy.
Have you talked to your Meep (you and your nn's) yet?
That sucks!
My Mum always tells me "not to worry" that things aren't "that bad" I think she thinks that if she minimises stuff, then I'll actually believe her and think things aren't that bad, so maybe your Dad is just trying to reassure you.
You always have us here. There's breast cancer in my family and I've often pondered what I would decide if faced with this kind of decision, so I "almost" get how you might be feeling.
Thinking of you.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
Consider this my shocked face. Good Lord at the idiocy of some people. *Hugs*
I talked to Meep. Basically, anything to do with this, she totally shuts down and gets freaked out. After all, it was her daughter who found out at 27 that she had breast cancer.
Odd twist: My mom didn't find her cancer until she had to have a hysterectomy for other reasons, and then went on hormone replacement. Hormones scare meeee.
That is definitely a lot to process, and it sucks that it seems everyone in your life is having such a hard time dealing with everything that they can't give you enough support; they're probably just trying to hang on as it is!
And even though you weren't planning this LO, you're young and saying, "ok no more kids ever" is a BIG decision that you shouldn't have to deal with at this age. Hopefully you'll be able to use this next year to be with Bun and the HH, and decide whether or not you want to expand your family, and if you decide to try again, I hope you're successful
Can they not do a mammogram or a scan or something to get a better idea of what's going on? I'm assuming they're doing what they can, but it just seems strange to me that there wasn't more testing done before telling you that you have to make this decision...
And, if you need new boobs, I know a GREAT doctor here in Vegas
I started having testing done for all of this a couple of years ago, and we decided to wait to take any action because I'd never had children. Now that I have, we apparently need to get the ball rolling, especially since the hormones could have spurred cellular growth that we don't want to deal with at this point.
And, I'm thinking a D cup. I'll finally be able to buy Victoria's Secret!
Annie, I'm mostly just a lurker but I, like so many others on here, feel like I've gotten to know you a little over the last few months (from the NannyAnnie days, even.) So, even though I don't know you, I feel for you!
If I were in your place, I'd think of whether or not I want another pregnancy. And then I'd consider how important having biological children are to me. There's always adoption, if you and Bun decide against more children for now. This isn't the end of all roads children related for you. Some people aren't comfortable with that idea, and some like a good friend of mine, adopt in addition to their own children. I just wanted to put that out there for you!
That and as a fellow "G" cupper, see this as a chance to get the dream boobs! Bigger isn't better but perkier beats all!
Seriously I will go with a C cup. They are so much cuter then the VS Ds! I promise, I have worn both.
Bun and hubby are a lot a like. D&D, magik and video games are the way they cope. Weird in my opinion but it is what it is. Hubby would tell me that it is my decision as well.
Sounds like Meep is scared shatless! To lose your daughter and then the possibility of your grandaughter, might be too much for her to deal with right now.
My thoughts are with you. You know your bumpies will support any decission that you make. I would give it sometime to sink in, you do got 12 months to decide to try for another HH if you want.