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FPs - at what point were you asked about adoption?

ctbride08ctbride08 member
in Adoption

We've had the kids almost 4 months (they were placed as straight foster, not f/a) and thier social worker asked me today if we'd be interested in adoption.  I was shocked since we were told that they wouldnt even broach the subject until closer to a year in care.  The SW even admitted that its much earlier than he would usually ask but he felt the need to "prepare the department" since the case wasn't progressing. Of course the primary goal is still reunification, but this seems like kind of a big tip as to where they see this going.

So for other FP's who have adopted, how far along were you asked about adoption?  Does this seem unusually soon to you?

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Re: FPs - at what point were you asked about adoption?

  • come*on*babycome*on*baby
    We were asked about adopting our girls at the 11 month mark, but that's because up until then Bio Parents were working their plan. It wasn't until then that they proved otherwise.
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  • Duchess1Duchess1 member

    We were asked really early on, before the 6 month mark. I think that is beacuse the parents weren't working their plan at all, missing visits etc. 

    I am excited for you :-)

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  • Cissi64Cissi64

    My situation might not be helpful since this happened 1996-99 but here goes:

    We became foster parents before F/A was a real policy...at least in our state.  It was more like you became a foster parent and in the event the BP failed at reunifying, you might be asked to adopt.  The only way to be a strictly adoptive parent was to adopt older children where TPR  had already occured.  SW knew we were interested in adopting and only wanted younger kids (5 and under) so they apparently waited until a likely situation came along. 

    We were told at the placement of the first 2  (July 1996), that they "might  do TPR" in 6 mos." because they didn't have "confidence in Mom workign the plan" and that they would have "removed the children  at birth" but they "didn't have a legal leg to stand on" and had to wait for her to "mess up".  We were sort of tentatively ( and unofficially) asked then if we wanted to adopt.  We cautiously said we were interested knowing that it was very early in the game. 6mos later "Mom" had made no progress and had even managed to get PG again and in as bad if not sorse situtaion as she had been before.  We got our hopes up thinking they would TPR sooner rather  than later. 

     6mos after that (July, 1997), "Mom' had followed some of her plan and we were told they would be reunited by Christmas.  In Sept., she left the state after telling the SW lot of lies. Came back just shy of the 3 mos without contact that constitutes abandonment (in KY) but DCFS had already decided to proceed with the TPR.    TPR occured in Feb., 1998 and the adoption was final in Dec 1999.  They offficailly asked us if we wanted to adopt after the TPR.

    Our youngest son's case was a bit different.  "Mom" was motivated and he actually reunited twice  (once with mom, once with another family member)but they couldn't keep it together.  After the second failure at reunification.  DCFS  decided TPR was the way to go and "Mom" insisted that we adopt him.  DW already knew we were willing so they never officially asked, they just showed up for a visit with the "intent to adopt papers".

    Federal laws have changed considerably since we adopted and children don't spend as much time in FC before the goal is changed to adoption now.  The SW may be asking this question early so the children can be moved to another  family interested in adopting if you aren't interested in adopting these children.  I know there were some "striclty fostering" families when we were fostering and they did move children quite frequently when the goal was changed to adoption and the current FF wasn't interested.

    dd(Brianna) 11/01/94, ds(Bram)10/17/95, ds(Jesse)9/26/97, dd (Annie Ruth) 7/27/05 5mc Jan '08, May '08, Feb '09, Sept '09, Apr '11 "And can it be that in a world so full and busy, the loss of one weak creature makes a void in any heart, so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of vast eternity can fill it up." - Charles Dickens

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  • joeandkristiejoeandkristie
    We were asked before we were placed with our kids.  They wanted to move them into their permanent home even though there is a slim chance that reunification may happen.  We are still waiting for TPR and will probably wait another six months for that to happen.  In the mean time our children know that they are not going to be moved at a moments notice.
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  • Go_DawgsGo_Dawgs member

    PLEASE don't get excited about this.  I'm not a FP, but I work in child welfare.  Four months is VERY early.  I have had the Department give parents two years before to work on a case plan.  Often a foster parent may be asked early on if they are willing to adopt, just because it's good information to know later on down the road if the case starts heading that way.  However, unless there has been some SERIOUS abuse (like shaken baby, sexual abuse, etc), four months is much, much too early to have an idea of where the case will end up.  I hope this doesn't come across as harsh, but I hate seeing foster parents get their hopes up and then end up heartbroken.

    Good luck.

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  • come*on*babycome*on*baby
    imageGo_Dawgs:

    PLEASE don't get excited about this.  I'm not a FP, but I work in child welfare.  Four months is VERY early.  I have had the Department give parents two years before to work on a case plan.  Often a foster parent may be asked early on if they are willing to adopt, just because it's good information to know later on down the road if the case starts heading that way.  However, unless there has been some SERIOUS abuse (like shaken baby, sexual abuse, etc), four months is much, much too early to have an idea of where the case will end up.  I hope this doesn't come across as harsh, but I hate seeing foster parents get their hopes up and then end up heartbroken.

    Good luck.

    this exactly. 

     

    However, if the BPs have had previous cases with DFPS, chances of them asking about adoption is most likely certain, as they probably have a history of TPR.

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  • ctbride08ctbride08 member
    imagecome*on*baby:
    imageGo_Dawgs:

    PLEASE don't get excited about this.  I'm not a FP, but I work in child welfare.  Four months is VERY early.  I have had the Department give parents two years before to work on a case plan.  Often a foster parent may be asked early on if they are willing to adopt, just because it's good information to know later on down the road if the case starts heading that way.  However, unless there has been some SERIOUS abuse (like shaken baby, sexual abuse, etc), four months is much, much too early to have an idea of where the case will end up.  I hope this doesn't come across as harsh, but I hate seeing foster parents get their hopes up and then end up heartbroken.

    Good luck.

    this exactly. 

    However, if the BPs have had previous cases with DFPS, chances of them asking about adoption is most likely certain, as they probably have a history of TPR.

    I definitely appreciate this point and by no means are we planning thier adoption party - we know that so many things can and may happen between here and there that we wont even be telling our close friends and family about this.  But as to the second point, BM has a long history w/ DCF with at least two older children...

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  • jdbmjmjdbmjm
    It looks like the kiddos you have are young. In Los Angeles County (and most of CA) children under the age of 3 yrs get 6 months reunification, including sibling sets where one child is under the age of 3. Also, they can do what is called "fast track to permanancy" where there is no reunification. However, every single time I place a kid (I'm a social worker) I discuss concurrent planning- if mom/ dad doesn't get it together, are in willing to make a life time/ long term commitment to this child? It sort of puts it out there and gets people thinking (which we are required to do). It doesn't mean kiddo is up for adoption, just gets the conversation started
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