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XP: Anyones 2nd LO in the nicu while you had a toddler?
For how long? How did you balance your toddler, time at the nicu & everything else in life? I just got told that baby craze has a large hole in his heart. I go see the cardiologist tomorrow for more info, but I'm trying to mentally prepare. KWIM? TIA
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Re: XP: Anyones 2nd LO in the nicu while you had a toddler?
That's pretty exactly what happened to us - DD born at 32w4d when DS was 2.5. Fortunately for us, we have full-time daycare and I wasn't working at the time. So in the morning, I'd drop DS at daycare and DH at work, and then head to the hospital to spend time with DD. I'd retrace the trip in the evening. Without the daycare or with work during the day, I'd have tried to schedule playdates for DS with familiar friends so I could spend time at the hospital, or I'd have traded off with DH, one night I pick up DS and he visits DD, the next night the other way. On weekends, DS spent a lot of time with friends and grandparents.
The unexpected upside of all this stress is that, when DD finally did come home, DS was delighted because it meant he got to spend more time with us.
Having a baby in the NICU is really, really hard - basically, your entire life revolves around the hospital for a while. (Which is why, btw, those people who talk about "lucky you, getting the nurses to take care of her" should be smacked.)
My DD was 14 months old when DS was born at 31 weeks. He spend 7 weeks in NICU and I'm not going to lie- it was really hard. There is a lot of guilt involved. No matter where you are you feel guilty for not spending more time with the other child. I think DD had lots of fun hanging out with family and didn't mind the change too much, but the guilt for me was tough. Expecially since we never used Day Care and I was not used to being away from my DD for so long.
If you have family and friends around who are willing take advantage of their help. We just had people watch DD for us so we could go to NICU and a few people made meals but I wish I would have put people to work helping more with laundry and house cleaning as well. that stuff should be put on a back burner but it's hard to come home and relax when there is a mountain of laundry and dishes sitting there.
GL!!
Thankfully we do have help. DH's family is around & more than willing to come help. And they do dishes
Meredith & I have not been apart from each other except for a few times since she's born & I'm really worried about it. She does well with other people, but only if she knows I'm around. Ya know?
Thanks so much for the honesty.
Crazy,
I'm sorry your going throught this. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I didn't have another LO when i went through it but, it was a roller coaster ride. i'm here if you need to talk. I'll PM you my e-mail.
Mary
First of al,l you and your family is in my thoughts and prayers!
My first DS was 23months when our second DS was born at 32 weeks. It was a challenge to find the time to balance the NICU. We had family to help right after Jack was born so both DH and I could go to the NICU. We would spend the mornings up there and then come home in the afternoon to spend time with our other son. My DH had to go back to work after only a couple of days(I had been in the hospital for 2 weeks prior to Jack being born). After DH went back to work. I would stay home with our first son and then when DH got home from work, I would leave and spend the evenings at the NICU. Poor DH only saw DS during lunch breaks and on the weekends. It was a tough 23 days, but we made it work. God bless and everything will work out. HUGS
I am so so sorry you are dealing with this.
When Stella was in the NICU all last summer, we were just running on adrenaline the whole time. You will make it though--trust me! Things will be hard for a while but it will work out.
So sorry again & you know I am on Facebook all the time if you need me!
It is really hard. and I'm so sorry. my baby was born at 24 weeks when my toddler was 18 mos.
my best advice is a strict schedule. I knew I was going to be in the nicu for a while (as do you, I see) so we got am daycare for my toddler. I visited baby in the morning, spent afternoon and evening with toddler and then went back to hospital after bedtime.
I found that without a schedule I was so torn that I was literally unable to decide where to go.