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My MIL thinks I'm a snob...

am369am369
in 3rd Trimester

Background:  My family has a lot more money than DH's family.  My dad worked very hard (all my grandparents were immigrants with NO money) but he sure doesn't give any to me.

MIL is always offering us hand me clothes.  Not for LO, for DH and I.  I always decline because our house is packed as it is.  We have so much stuff that I'm constantly pairing down and donating to goodwill. 

She always gets an attitude when I say we have plenty.  And finally she stopped asking.  I thought this was the end of it.

NOPE!!! She drove 7.5 hours from NJ to Ohio with a box of hand me downs for DH (not me).   

The hand me downs...WERE HIS FATHERS OLD WORK SHIRTS.  Now when I say work I don't mean dress up go to work clothes, I mean go outside and mow the lawn work clothes.  His mom brought about 20 of them that no longer fit his dad.  Are you kidding me?  Whenever DH wears out clothes or ruins them they get put into his get dirty work clothes pile.  I allow him one washing machine full of them.  I do one load a month completely separate from our other laundry and thats it.  Believe me we have a large washing machine.  And the best part is that half of the shirts were long sleeved denim shirts that his dad couldn't stand working in because they were so thick adn heavy.

She's one of those pack rats who can't resist saying yes to hand me downs or free stuff and can't donate or get rid of anything.  So then she pushes it into our house.  And she thinks I'm a snob because she always has comments like "Well you like your name brands". 

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Re: My MIL thinks I'm a snob...

  • delemdelem
    I'd take it straight to goodwill. 
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  • newmommyin2010newmommyin2010 member
    OOH wow....that is beyond annoying. I am sorry you have to deal with this. It makes me very thankful for my amazingly cool MIL.
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  • am369am369

    imagedelem:
    I'd take it straight to goodwill. 

    that's what i do with everything.  i dont' even bother taking it out the boxes or the bags.

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  • DreaMe23DreaMe23 member
    Sounds like it goes in the garbage.  Goodwill is for things that still have some life left in them.
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  • MTClaireMTClaire member
    take the hand-me-downs, and drop them off at goodwill.  then you get the tax write-off!  :)
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  • Calypso312Calypso312

    I think this would be the perfect situation for a "kiss my arse" comment. DH's family (not so much his mom as the rest of them) thinks my family is stuck up, too.

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  • amy0105amy0105

    imagedelem:
    I'd take it straight to goodwill. 

    This! 

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  • KKWISCKKWISC member

    imageDreaMe23:
    Sounds like it goes in the garbage.  Goodwill is for things that still have some life left in them.

    THIS! Clothes that are obviously stained, torn and too worn need to just be thrown out. My G-MA always does this to my mom and she just takes the bags and throws the crap and donates the rest. 

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  • CMSullivan326CMSullivan326 member
    If they're in that bad of shape, throw them away. If they're wear-able, then give them to goodwill...It prob wont stop her from bringing more, but at least you know you don't have to keep them. Problem solved.
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  • teelamanteelaman member
    If you need another suggestion - (this is something my DH does with all the old clothes that get holes in them or worn out) - but he cuts them up into squares (tosses the arms/buttons/collars) to use outside in the garage/shed for cleaning stuff up. Since they're grungy or stained anyway, and free! we used them for cleaning grease, changing oil, all the super dirty stuff that we don't want to bother buying new washcloths for. And just think how funny it would be for your MIL to see your new "shop cloths" haha.
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  • sweetpea814sweetpea814 member

    imageteelaman:
    If you need another suggestion - (this is something my DH does with all the old clothes that get holes in them or worn out) - but he cuts them up into squares (tosses the arms/buttons/collars) to use outside in the garage/shed for cleaning stuff up. Since they're grungy or stained anyway, and free! we used them for cleaning grease, changing oil, all the super dirty stuff that we don't want to bother buying new washcloths for. And just think how funny it would be for your MIL to see your new "shop cloths" haha.

    Love it!  Great idea! 

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  • naylon511naylon511 member

    I could have written your entire post.

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  • rmaximrmaxim

    Your MIL sounds a lot like mine. My family had no money growing up, but my taste is just basically the opposite of anything MIL picks out, and I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm high maintenance because of it.

    For years she was always buying us stuff that we didn't want, like or use, and it would drive me crazy because I felt so awkward trying to feign appreciation and then feeling like she had to see me wear/use it. We stopped telling her about specific things we wanted, and just said "you don't have to get us anything, but if you do, we'd like gift cards to xyz store".

    I think the best thing you can do is be really honest about what you want or need - don't fake appreciation for things you don't want/need, and try to be really clear about what you like so eventually she may learn. And like others said, I would donate anything that you don't want to keep.

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  • gringa78gringa78

    imagedelem:
    I'd take it straight to goodwill. 

    This.

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  • samk213samk213 member

    My MIL does this with everything, not just clothes.  She once told me she had a bunch of old "negligees" that she didn't use anymore and said she could box them up for me.  Um, GROSS, no thank you.  She always is offering me clothes from her closet or asking DH if I might like something if I'm not around.  It's gotten to the point I won't comment about liking something when I go to their house because she will try to give it to me.  I complimented a large christmas tree she had at her house and the next time she came up to see us, it was in the back of the truck.

    She's coming up this weekend and I'm just wondering if she'll be coming with boxes of DH's old baby clothes?

    I figure she's well-intentioned and seeing as she only has 2 boys, I think she feels a little left out in the daughter department or unsure of what to do with me her DIL.  It still irritates though.

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  • sugarland726sugarland726 member
    imagesamk213:

    She once told me she had a bunch of old "negligees" that she didn't use anymore and said she could box them up for me.  Um, GROSS, no thank you. 

    Seriously?? That makes me want to vomit a little. Just the thought of wearing something sexy for my husband that his mother wore. Would she want to wear one from her MIL? What on earth makes her think you would?? Gross!

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  • eSynergyeSynergy

    In these situations, I find it's easier to just take the stuff, say thanks, and then donate it. It's not worth fighting/stressing over.

    (I have a similar situation)

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  • bobbymebobbyme member
    Don't even bother with Goodwill. If they are nasty, no one else will want them and I doubt Goodwill would put them out. Sounds like those clothes are ready to retire.
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  • Ivana_StolichnayaIvana_Stolichnaya member
    Cut up the T-shirts and use them to dust or as cleaning rags.  Throw away everything else.  Going to the Goodwill requires you to do another stupid errand.  Let the garbage man do the lifting.
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