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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Need honest opinions re: Inlaw/Pet Drama (LONG)
This is a long, long story, but I will just give you the most important details.
A month after we had DD DHs BIL bought a dog. A large pit bull mix. DHs brother was in a serious relationship, but not engaged/no kids etc. Dog splits time between his house and ILs house. MIL is OBSESSED with dog. Since then BIL has gotten engaged to a girl allergic to dogs. Dog now lives F/T with ILs.
Twice dog has growled at DD unprovoked. Dog is also not housebroken and regularly pees/poops on the carpet. The playroom at ILs house smells like urine and DD almost picked up a sh!t log in the dining room the other day. They dont vacuum very often.
The dog issue came up on Easter, prompting a HUGE blowout between DH and FIL. They have never fought like that. Since then MIL has been very unfriendly to me and SIL (her daughter) because we chimed in our issues with dog.
I am at my wits end about the situation. I used to put up with the dog and other safety issues at their house (2 pools, millions of stairs, etc) because I knew it was important to DH and MIL was nice to me. Now that she is acting this way, and I see no resolution other than 1) I like the dog (not happening) or 2) Dog leaves (not happening either,) I don't want to go over there anymore. Period. I'm done. Yes I will go for holidays and bdays, but no more random visits to a filthy house with an agressive dog.
DH sees my side and supports my decision, yet says I need to be the "bigger person" and go over there. WDYT?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Need honest opinions re: Inlaw/Pet Drama (LONG)
or you only go when its nice out- so DC can play outside w/no doggie issues
I will repeat my mantra about dogs and small children.
4.5 Million people are bitten by dogs each year,
880,000 seek medical car (the majority are children)
31,000 require surgery (again, more children).
A dog that shows any sort of aggression or even "puppy" enthusiasm around my kids will not happen. No, Nada, done. These stats are from the CDC.
First, I am a HUGE dog lover, did a ton of obedience and agility training with my pooch when he was younger, and I'm always on the side of dog.
That said, I would never put my child in that situation. An aggressive dog cannot be trusted with a toddler. Period. If a dog has snapped at a child once, it's just a matter of time before he actually bites, unless some serious training is going on. It doesn't sound like that's the case here. It's unreasonable to put you child in a dangerous situation (obviously), and it's unfair to the dog to put expectations on him when he hasn't been made to understand what those expectations are. I guess you could go over there and be hyper-vigilant about not letting your son within ten feet of the animal, but that could be awfully hard.
Would your MIL entertain the idea of crating the dog or putting him in a bedroom during your visits? This is really the only way I'd feel comfortable.
No way, no how. Its enough of a "chore" for my SIL to ask he be outside when her 4 month old is playing on the floor. And during the argument MIL walked over to dog and put her arm in his mouth and told him to bite her. When he didn't she looked at us and said, "See? He wont bite." RIDICULOUS.
Yes, ridiculous. I think you have to stand your ground. Ask your DH how he would feel if your son was badly bitten on the face and permanently scarred, or even lost an eye (because small children are almost always bitten on the face). I know he wants peace with his mom, but not at that price.
I think anyone who can afford to have two pools but can't pick up dog$hit off the carpet is too disgusting to bother with.
I haven't read the PP's but....Nope. Not no way, not no how would I let DS be around an agressive dog who has shown aggressive behaviors toward him. I honestly, and I'm saying this as a dog rescue Mama, wouldn't even do holidays or big events there unless the dog were in a pen or otherwise locked up securely.
.
: read no further if you don't want to be freaked!
Especailly a pit mix. I know many will disagree with me, but after a friend's otherwise "friendly" pit mix took another dog into it's jaws, and wouldn't release the other dog until it was dead-literally they tried spraying water, poking him with a shovel hanle etc-I will NEVER let DS around an agressive, guard dog type of dog.
This is not a situation where "being the bigger person" comes into play IMHO. This is a matter of not knowing the right answer until somethiing bad happens. Keep the kid away from the dog no matter who you have to offend in doing so.
Well first off, I don't think just because she's acting like a jerk about it makes it okay for you to act like a jerk as well (so I agree with your DH and think you need to be the bigger person on that aspect)
But an aggressive dog is not cool, (btw it's not aggressive BECAUSE it's a pit bull mix it's aggressive because it needs to be trained. and is probably scared of your kid - kids are crazy and unpredictable)
You should continue to have DH take the issue and explain to them (well her) that unless things change, the dog is trained, put away in another room, pee and poop are cleaned up. You will not be bringing their grandchild to see them, but they are more than welcome to come to your house for visits.
I think as long as you remain calm and try to remain the bigger person (and only focus on the main issue of the dog growling and acting aggressive) things should (hopefully) get better.
I'm not trying to sound condescending or anything, and I could be reading this a completely different way than you mean it, but my impression is you had issues before but you kept quiet because she was nice, but now that she's been rude all the issues are pouring out. (I've done this more than I'd like to admit)
Like I said the aggressive dog is not cool, but also know that the dog is most likely scared of your child. Talk to them about getting a trainer, going to a dog park, getting the dog socialized a bit more.
Mark 14:52
I wouldn't deal with it. If she is choosing her dog over her grandchildren then so be it. My parents have two small dogs. Both are older and the female has always been aggressive. For that reason she is never allowed around children, since she is only aggressive around small kids. My mom crates or just keeps her in the bedroom when we're over.
I've taught both my kids not to touch her but you just never know. We just adopted a black lab mix, he's 6mos old now and very playful. He has never been aggressive but likes to play bite and over powers the kids. I will never ever leave my kids alone with any animal. (our kitty doesn't like kids either lol)
9/24/2011 Plymouth Firefighters 5k: 47:13
11/12/2011 Diva Dash 5k: 45:45
5/5/2012 STEM school 5k TBD Coming up in 2012:
6/10/2012 Walk to Remember SIDS foundation 5k
(in memory of a sweet baby boy)
11/10/2012 Diva Dash 5k
I've never seen this before, but good info.
You are not being unreasonable and it's your job to make sure your child is safe. Stand your ground! On top of that, it's disgusting. I'm glad your DH is supporting your decision, but this isn't about being the bigger person. This is about placing your child in a gross, unsafe situation.
My 12 yr old niece was playing at her best friends house two weeks ago. The neighbor girl came out and asked if they wanted to see her doggie do tricks. The mutt was a non-aggressive, family pet. The little girl does the tricks, all three girls are playing with the dog when all of the sudden he snapped at my niece. She has 20 stitches on the outside of her face and 7 on the inside. Had to have plastic surgery on her face. I can PIP if you want to see her face.
Just another example of how "nice" dogs aren't always the nicest.
Nope. You're right here. Dog sounds like he doesn't like kids (the growling and eliminating) and you're putting your daughter in danger having the dog around (and I'm a dog person!).
DH needs to tell ILs that dog gets gated somewhere else and cleaning is done, or DD doesn't come over. Period.
I wouldn't send DD over there either. With the dog having pitt in him, was he properly trained?? With him going back and forth between homes and not being house broken, I'd be worried that the training for him was less than adequate. (Before any Pitt owners get mad, I'm not saying Pitts are bad, but they like any power breed need appropriate training, as did my Rott mix)
Be strong. Your child shouldn't have to play in pee and poop and definitely shouldn't be around a dog who is acting aggressive.
umm yeah this exactley! and sorry but this isn't about being nice to your IL's and making them happy, this is about your child's safety!! Obviously you are the only one with common sense in this situation and you have to put your foot down!