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katie_cj
member
So FI and I had a talk...
katie_cj
member
It kind of sucked.
We are on two completely different pages about everything lately..so different, they may as well be in separate books, books is separate houses.
I'm just really down. We talked for half an hour and nothing, absolutely nothing got resolved or got any better. He went to bed.
I need to think. But I don't want to think.
How's everyone else doing?
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Re: So FI and I had a talk...
I'm sorry hon
I know you don't want to think, but have you guys considered counseling? It might not solve everything, but it could at least help you find the same book.
hugs katie!
I'm eating pie while M. crawls all over god's creation burning energy. I'll share my pie with you
I'm doing ok. I think I'm about to go to bed. My parents are coming tomorrow so me and FI can have a getaway.
I'm sorry about your talk. That sucks.
I'm sorry it sucked!
I've been wondering if you were feeling any better about how things were going.
Is your LO sleeping at least?
That sucks. I know it seems useless, but keep trying to talk.
GL with whatever you would like to happen.
DD is still teething, so I am super tired.
WE have been the same way. Its been hard but we are also trying to sell and buy a home so we have added stress, plus DH car is a POS so we are looking for a new vehicle as well.
I know it will get better, I just hope soon! GL to you and your FI
I'm sorry. I don't like it when things are icky. I hope you guys are able to work it out. If you ever need to talk, I'm here or you can PM me and I'll give you my email.
I'm doing ok, just wishing the sore throat BS would leave already!
We can't afford it right now and insurrance doesn't cover it 100%. It'll have to wait until I go back to work in June. Right now, he says he won't go though.
Yes, he is. He didn't even wake up at 1030. (knock on wood)
what kind of pie? I like pie.
That sounds like fun! Where are you guys going?
Cherry! Made tonight
Thanks! I hope you feel better soon. I used to get strep throat a lot and it sucked monkey balls.
Well for that "WOOHOO!"
DD is sleeping in her bed for once so maybe tonight is just a good night?
...I'm gonna stop talking now before I jinx it lol:)
I'm sorry you're having a rough time.
I'm doing good (see post below for reason why). But for a while now DH and I have been at each other's throats with the bickering. It was getting too much for me. So I know a little bit how it feels to be disconnected from your SO.
I never said it was homemade, just 'made' tonight
hehe
LOL! Jake is in his bed too. He actually slept in his crib all night last night with minimal crying. Oh, spoke too soon. He woke up.
I'm so sorry. I'm right there with you. We are so completely opposite I sometimes wonder why the hell we got married. It sucks and we fight about stupid stuff all the time. Its hard but we just started counseling last month and its been a little better. I'm spending this week at my moms to babysit my sister so I'm hoping the distance helps too.
Feel free to PM me anytime to vent! I know exactly what you're going through.
No! I'm sorry, I think it was my fault! (I'm gonna have to go peek at DD now to see if she's still asleep)
So does that mean he won't go until you return to work? I'm sure your city has plenty of free counseling services if you inquire. Also, some therapists charge on a sliding scale based on your financial status. So I'm sorry for whatever problems the two of you have but if you can't come to a middle ground on your own you might need to seek out a third party. And saying that you can't afford it shouldn't hold you back. Now, if you do decide to wait until you return to work and he still won't go to counseling what then? If he refuses then and your relationship has not improved for the better than I would see that as a red flag.
Thanks, that's why I love the bump. I hate that others have the same issue, but it's great not to feel alone.
Myrtle Beach. It's like 2 hours from our house. I don't want to leave Ry, but we need adult time.
Absolutely. And its nice to talk to people that aren't biased or will judge you.
I'll check it out, I had trouble finding anything last time. FI has been sent to many counselors as a kid/teen because of his father abused him verbally and physically. He hates them. He doesn't talk about it much. But basically, they never helped and he doesn't see the point. I'm hoping to discuss it again in a few weeks.
That's really tough. What about a "mediator"? It would basically be the same thing, but wouldn't have the bad connotations in his mind.
What about a pastor from a local church? I don't know where you stand on the religous topic, but if you guys aren't totally opposed, you can go talk to someone there for free.
I'm sorry sorry hon. I hope you can work it out, but you need to figure out your plan B, just in case. I'm not trying to be a debbie downer, I'm totally, totally on your side and am hoping you guys can work it out! But this has been going on for a while. And if he won't consider help, what can you do? You and Jake deserve only the best! Don't ever forget that!!
I'm sorry your FI had such a horrible experience with counseling but if things don't get better on their own you need to convince him to give it another shot. He shouldn't condemn the entire counseling community because of a few bad apples. I feel sad for him that he had to even go to counseling at such a young age for something so horrible as abuse. I really hope you can convince him to give it another chance. If not, I highly recommend you go get some individual therapy. Doing that might help you to approach things differently with him and when he sees the positives in going to counseling maybe then he'll be more receptive to couples counseling. I also strongly suggest that until the two of you resolve these issues you may want to consider putting the wedding on hold. Being married will just magnify the problems even more. It's better to work through this unmarried and if in the end you have to end it then it won't be as expensive as a divorce. GL. We've all been (or still) in the same boat. It's a long, gradual process and DH and I are still working out the kinks but there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
We've talked to our reverend, but he's retiring at the end of the year. FI isn't himself though, he doesn't open up with him. We might have to find someone different. I haven't looked into it enough. I can probably get him to go to counseling once and see from there.
You aren't a Debbie Downer, I've been thinking about it too. I've made it clear to FI that things need to get better for this relationship to work. We have some good weeks, then it just goes back to like it was....
We've talked to our reverend, but he's retiring at the end of the year. FI isn't himself though, he doesn't open up with him. We might have to find someone different. I haven't looked into it enough. I can probably get him to go to counseling once and see from there.
You aren't a Debbie Downer, I've been thinking about it too. I've made it clear to FI that things need to get better for this relationship to work. We have some good weeks, then it just goes back to like it was....
I totally agree with you about the wedding. It's not even being planned right now.
I'll look into counseling. Either together or individual.