My friend $ucks!

OscarQ · April 2010

Argh! So my friend (single, male) just told me that his brother's wife is expecting their fifth child and he thinks it's ridiculous that his brother is having another baby at 40.

I told him that 40 isn't old to have a baby anymore and he responded that his brother will be 58 when the baby is 18. I don't consider 58 to be very old either. He capped off the conversation with, "don't you remember when we were kids and you'd go over to someone's house and they'd have parents who were so old they looked like your grandparents? You don't want to be those parents".

Buddy - I'd auction off my left ovary to be "those parents". People suck!

redsoxbono · April 2010

I'm so sorry. That is really insensitive and hurtful HE is not the one having a baby at 40. . . so WHY does he care?

People need to mind their business and THINK before they speak. . .

I'm sorry that you had to listen to something so hurtful. . .

JilliansMoma · April 2010

redsoxbono:
I'm so sorry. That is really insensitive and hurtful HE is not the one having a baby at 40. . . so WHY does he care?
People need to mind their business and THINK before they speak. . .
I'm sorry that you had to listen to something so hurtful. . .

This exactly!!!

MarriedaSportsNut · April 2010

My husband is the youngest of 4 (an "oops" baby) and his parents were in their 40s when they had them. Yep, they are quite old now, but my DH has never complained about growing up with older parents. How insensitive of your friend! Older parents have the means and motivation to raise a well-adjusted family. That's all goodness in my opinion.

NowDNAtoo · April 2010

That is just an awful comment from an ignorant guy (even though he is your friend). He also obviously didn't think first before making these comments (even if he doesn't know you're TTC).

pnltybox · April 2010

Seriously, I think my knee would've inadvertently swung in the direction of his crotch.........and then see how he feels when his swimmers aren't working when HE'S 40 and wanting to start (or add to) his family!! ARRRGH! (am I being too bitter??) LOL

So sorry you had to deal with someone so insensitive........sometimes people don't think before they speak. I know how you feel though.......my DH was holding his newborn niece and she started crying, and his own grandmother joked around saying maybe we should think twice about having our own kids.......seriously???

Hope you have a better day tomorrow!

izzourclue · April 2010

I would rather my parents had waited until their 30's or 40's to have me then maybe they would have had their sh!t together and had some idea what they were doing. Having a baby when your mentally and financially stable is the best thing to do and if that takes till your 40, so be it. Besides, when your a kid, all adults are "old." I couldn't tell the difference between 35 and 45 when I was 10. Oh and BTW, I guess your single, male friend is just not having kids. He's too old right. He sucks.

Deanne Shehane · April 2010

ugghh! Hate it when that happens. People don't understand it until they walk in our shoes. Who says we are old, really!!!

CharBart · April 2010

People suck!

I'm 40 and I don't think I'm too old at all! It's all a state of mind! I don't remember thinking friends parents were old at all...maybe he felt that way and maybe he's just a dumba$$.

*Chicken* · April 2010

The thing of it is I remember thinking at 20 how old 38 was. Well now that I am 38 I don't think its old and I feel better then when I was 25. When we are 58 we are going to think 'wow I feel so young, like I'm 38 again'. So age is relative. PLUS, kids don't care how 'old' their parents are. Two of my good friends have parents in their 80's (they are my age) and I have never heard them complain about their parents being 'old'. Your friend is a wanker (no disrespect to you).

OscarQ · April 2010

Thanks for the support. He's said this to me before - not nearly as hurtful but he knows I'm TTC and I had just told him about the m/c and the complications I had from the first IUI round (still can't do anything more physical than light walking). Honestly, I think he's a bit bitter about being 42 and single but I don't say hurtful things about his situation.

lisa&laird · April 2010

Man! I can only imagine what he would have to say about me! 44? Seriously? Are you out of your ever-loving mind woman?! You know, I too feel better at this age than when I was in my first marriage and having my daughters. That whole time in my life was fraught with so much 'stuff'. Being newly married, new parents, finances, in-laws, relationship 'stuff' and trying to figure out who "I" was. I feel so much more peaceful now at my age and where I am with my relationship now. This is where my frustration comes in about ttc. I am really READY now! And then the body poops out! I had older parents when I was a kid. My mom was 39 when she had me and my dad was 40. When I look at it, it really doesn't seem to be old at all now. Although there was a 17 year age difference between my brother and I. ( My mom suffered a horrible birth in a rural makeshift hospital in Scotland, and was told that she would never be able to conceive another child), and then I came along all those yeard later! I never suffered at having older parents. They too, were much more calm and didn't sweat the small stuff with me! I wouldn't have changed a thing! The only thing that saddens me is that they won't be here to see Laird grow up, but they are making sure that they spend lots of time with him now!!!

cbeney · April 2010

What a dip$***!! How rude, and I agree, people dont understand until they are walking in your shoes. I dont wish IF on anyone, but I think a lot of people would be more understanding and sensitive if they got a taste of it! (even for a little bit!)

they way I look at it, you can always argue back that older parents are more financially stable and mature, as opposed to younger parents.?

hang in there ?

Want a personalized experience?

My friend $ucks!

Re: My friend $ucks!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards