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Feeling overwhelmed, need encouragement (kinda long)
I was just thinking that I have so much work cut out for me in the next few months. I have a lot that I need to break Griffin of and I would ideally like it to be done before the end of the summer. He will be 3 in Oct and he is currently still sleeping VERY VERY WELL in his crib! he has always been a champ about sleeping and he has never once tried to climb out of the crib. Although he now tries to climb IN with the aid of the ottoman in his room! LOL! I plan to convert our crib to a toddler bed until we need to use the crib again (whenever that may happen, but that's another stressful issue). I am dreading this since he sleeps so well.
Another thing on our list is to break him of the paci use. He onlly has it at naptime/bedtime. He has always been really good about leaving it in the bed, but lately he cries for it when he is upset or scared, so I am really dreading getting rid of it.
And the last thing, potty training! He has ABSOLUTELY no interest in the potty. We have tried a few potties, we've tried pull-ups, but right now I am not pushing at all. He could care less. My plan of action is to just try the one-week potty training this summer when it is consistantlly warm, put him in underwear and let him go. We have no set deadline as to when he needs to be trained so that is good, but the whole thing stresses me out big time.
I don't know where to start. I don't want to do multiple things at the same time since I fear that will be too much change and it all might backfire on me. Any suggestions as to which one I should tackle first? I really would appreciate any advice you girls have to offer. Thanks so much for reading this far!
Kristen & Mike 7/2005
Griffin 10/2007
Griffin 10/2007
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Feeling overwhelmed, need encouragement (kinda long)
Kristen, I could have written almost everything in this post. Only difference is, I am really not stressed out about this stuff. Justin is still in his crib (and he's 2.5 months older than Griffin), he still takes his pacifier at naptime and bedtime (drives me crazy), and he's not potty trained -- and he could really just care less about it.
Can I ask why you are so stressed about this stuff? I know occasionally I think I need to get Justin out of his crib, or take away his pacifier, and by god get him potty trained because of other kids his age that have already moved past these milestones, or because I feel like a slacker mom if I don't get on the ball. But the bottom line is, you do these things when you feel YOUR child is ready, and you are ready to take them on.
I agree, don't take them on all at once unless Griffin seems ready and willing to handle it. I'm just taking Justin's lead on these things. I figure we will introduce a big boy bed after his 3rd birthday. I'm in no hurry for this, because like you, he's a great sleeper and I sure don't want to upset that apple cart. And I don't want him in my room, in my bed, or roaming the house in the middle of the night -- so he's in a crib, period.
The pacifier kinda irritates me, but it comforts Justin like nothing else does in the middle of the night. I don't think he will take it forever, and again, that's something I was planning on saving for a little later. We have been talking about getting rid of it, and we bought the book "Pacifiers are not Forever". He understands the book but isn't ready to give it up just yet. I can live with it a little while longer.
Try not to stress yourself out too much. If I were you, if you really want to try to tackle all of these, try getting rid of the paci or moving to the big boy bed first. I think potty training really needs to be done when the child shows signs of readiness. I think your plan for waiting till the summer and then just trying underwear will probably help. Maybe let him keep the pacifier when he transitions to the big boy bed, just as a comfort thing in case he has a rough time?
Sorry so long -- but I'm exactly where you are and I don't want you to be so stressed. Ha ha, maybe I need to be more stressed!
Tyler Anthony arrived on 9.21.09
The Chronicles of Justin and Tyler
Thanks Katie! I guess I am stressed since I feel like 3 is the magic number. Everyone I know talks about 3 being the age when they can finally be diaper, crib, and paci free. Maybe that is because a lot of kids go to preschool at 3, or maybe there are just a lot of over-zealous mommies out there. LOL!
I feel like I am getting a lot of flack from my MIL and sometimes from my mom about the paci and potty training and it just isn't my personality type to tell them all just to back off. I am certainly not the type to push my child to do something he is not ready to do. I was just thinking the other night about all these things and how much work it will be. But, maybe I am wrong about the amount of work. Trainsitions have been pretty easy thus far with Griffin and maybe they will continue. I guess I won't know until it happens.
You girls here, and my mom's club friends have given me hope that this won't bee too bad and we will just have to take one day at a time. It all just scares me a bit and saddens me to think that my baby isn't a baby any more:(
Griffin 10/2007
I hear you on the whole MIL issue. Mine will be here this weekend and I just know she is going to ask why Justin isn't potty-trained yet, I will have to restrain myself from slapping her. My mom just got back in town after being away for 3 months, and her first question after saying hello was, "When are you going to start potty training Justin?" WTF. I'm not confrontational, either, so you have my sympathy. You're the mommy and you know your kid best, so trust your gut.
The part about 3 being the magic number does seem to be true for a lot of people, but it sure seems like a lot of stress to put on a 3 year old all at once! Just take it one step at a time and let Griffin help you through it. I am sure it will all work out; you are a terrific mommy, it's obvious from your posts and how well adjusted he is.
Tyler Anthony arrived on 9.21.09
The Chronicles of Justin and Tyler
I just wanted to chime in and let you know he'll get there! My son Jack is five and is completely potty trained, no longer takes bottles or paci's and sleeps all night in his own bed. He's incredibly well behaved and happy.
He used a paci (whenever he wanted, not just at naps and bedtime) till he was 3 and a half.
He also took a bedtime bottle (before brushing his teeth) till he was well over age 3. My pedi admitted to me that his own daughter did the same till she was 4... not a big deal as long as you brush teeth well before bed.
He was not completely potty trained till he started preschool 1 month before his 4th birthday.
And he slept in his crib till less than a year ago (for the last six months of that it was set up like a toddler bed but still, he was almost 4).
Do I feel like a huge slacker? no. Do I think my kid is/was behind or weird? no. He wasn't ready for those major milestones before he accomplished them and trying to make him ready only caused more stress for both of us.
Good luck!
Hannah
I just wanted to tell you that Evan is soooo much easier putting to bed now that he is in his big boy bed. It is unbelievable the difference.
We switched him over one night and that was that. He never had any problems at all. We kept his crib up just in case but he never looked back. He never tried to climb out or in (lol) of his crib but we started to potty train and at the same time he had a diarrhea issue for almost a month. He kept on taking off his diaper and well basically finger painting in his poo. We thought maybe if we switched him to a big boy bed he would be able to get out and go to the potty instead of stripping down naked and playing in it.
Since the diarrhea episode we (H and I) got really lazy about the potty training. We had to kind of stop till we got the issue settled and well we are just being lazy.
No advice about pacis. he never took to them or his thumb.
Kristen...I think this is key. Griffin is such a good boy and he seems very adaptable. I know I haven't been through any of this either but I really feel like he will let you know when he is ready...and then (hopefully!) the transition will be much easier on all of you. Maybe you could use this reasoning with your MIL/mom...something along the lines of: "We just don't feel that Griffin is showing sings of being ready to XXX but when he does, we will definitely encourage it!"
Chiming in with no personal experience. The one lesson I have learned though is that each kid does everything in their own time. I have no intentions on PTing Brandon until he is at least 3 unless he does it on his own. As for the paci? I haven't decided... and a big boy bed? Who knows. Ditto sistrkate in not stressing about it. I've already spent too much time stressing about stuff I really can't control. And when I think I have a plan that'll work, the problem usually resolves on its own. At least that's been my experience.
My MIL told me that my SIL used her paci like a champ. She would not go anywhere without it. She turned 2, and Easter was shortly after her birthday. MIL told her the Easter bunny took it in exchange for her big girl Easter basket, and she never blinked and never had a problem with it. I'm not sure if that's a strategy that could work for you in the future, but it's an alternative to cutting the tips off, ya know?
GL!!!
Ava has also always been a great sleeper, and she continued to be a great sleeper after we moved her into her big girl bed. It was no big deal to her. We tucked her in and said goodnight just like always and she went to sleep and stayed in her bed all night. A couple days later she realized that she could get out on her own but we really haven't had too much trouble with this. There have been a handful of times that I've had to go in at her naptime and tell her to get back in her bed, and a handful of times that she has put up a fight going down at night but overall it's been a very easy transition and I'm really happy to have her sleeping in her big girl bed. You might try it and see how he does. If it's not going to go over well, then back off. That is how I've approached every transition (and is the reason Ava is still taking a paci and I'm not forcing her to give it up anytime soon ;-).
Thanks ladies! Its so nice to hear everyone's experiences. I'm glad to know I am not alone, not that I have ever felt alone, it just gets hard sometimes. I am feeling a lot better about our future transitions.
Griffin 10/2007