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Toddlers: 24 Months+
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Poll: Your DC(ren) and College
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My daughter is in 11th grade and in the process of narrowing down which colleges she's interested in, so that we can visit them soon. She told me that she isn't considering any schools in Pennsylvania (where we live). Right now, her top choices are in New England and Illinois. At first, I was extremely upset about her going so far away. She plans to major in French and do a semester abroad as well. However, the more I think about it, the more I feel it's going to be a fabulous learning experience for her (living on her own, being accountable to her roomates, seeing a different country, having to fend for herself, etc.) and am starting to be ok with the idea....even though I'll really miss her.
So, just curious, do you think you will encourage your child(ren) to stay close to home or to go away when it's time for college...and why?
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Re: Poll: Your DC(ren) and College
Honestly, it's a really hard question for me. I stayed home and went to the local colleges (one has a branch and you can get a 4 year degree, other is a community college). I feel like I missed the experience of going away and meeting new people and just living that point of my life. I lived at home, I worked sometimes 3 jobs and I went to college full time. I met some really great people and had a heck of a time going clubby 3 and 4 nights a week, but I had to lie to my parents ALOT to get to do these things. I had an 11:00 curfew, and I felt like I was 18 and should be able to do what I want, but I still lived at home, so it sucked.
I really will encourage my child to go away to school and also tell her about the pros and cons of staying home and going to college. I am actually really hoping that she will take a lot of college courses while in high school so college won't be that expensive for her. One can only hope! So I guess my real answer would be, I want her to experience all the things I missed out on, but I will be worried sick whenever she is away from me.
My husband also went to the local college and commuted, so neither of us went away to school.
I grew up in Southern California and went to college in New York. Going East to school was one of the best decisions I ever made - it helped me grow so much as a person. My DH went to the University in the town he grew up in and so still went home every week to do laundry, LOL. I think that is crazy.
Obviously as a parent I will miss DS if he goes far away to school, but that is totally his decision and I will be fine with whatever it is (of course, if he wants to go to Harvard and still live at home that is OK, too. LOL)
If things stay like they are now (but it's a long time from now so who knows) I would absolutely love for him to go to a Georgia school because we have a state scholarship program that pays for tuition at state schools for students who meet certain GPA and SAT requirements. When you compare free in-state tuition to out of state full tuition - it's a no-brainer to me.
ETA: From a personal relationship perspective (not just finaincial), I think your attitude is the right one. It'll be a great opportunity for her and will teach her independence FAST.
EATA: I went to school 30 minutes from home but lived on campus because it was included in my full scholarship. If we can afford it, I will encourage him to live on campus even if he goes somewhere near our home because I think living on his own (even if it's close to us) is important.
Okay for me there are 2 big issues.
The distance thing is ok for me. I can live with that. DH and I both moved away for school (8 hrs and 12 hrs). I won't love it but I'm preparing myself for it. Also we are LDS and I imagine it is likely 1, 2, or all 3 of the kids will serve missions. My husband served in Mexico City and I in LA but DH has had siblings serve in Argentiana, Estonia, and even Russia. So my kids are likely going to leave either for college, missions, or who knows. I just have to prepare myself... I won't like it at the time but I know it is coming one day and I will be happy for them experiencing life beyond the nest.
For me the big issue is that we can't afford out of state tuition or private college tuition! I will have 3 kids in 2 yrs going to college. There is just no way. We will move back to Texas so the kids have more options for state schools and there is always BYU (b/c our church subsidizes the tuition) but if they choose out of state or private they will be on thier own when they exceed what we budgeted for instate. Hopefully they will be on scholarship; or it is something they REALLY want to do b/c they likely will end up with a mountain of student loans
Of course I would miss them and prefer they stay close but would support and 'understand' whichever they prefer...
My ONLY hiccup is that I notice a lot of people often STAY where they GO! What if they meet someone there and decide to stay? THEN they have their family there? College is ONE thing, its TEMPORARY but I wouldnt want to be away from where they raise their kids, u know? Id want to be CLOSE for that.... Leaving for college will def. encourage relationships that are FAR....kwim?
I plan on offering DS the same choice that my parents gave me. Stay local and commute and we'll buy you a car. If you go away to school, then the car fund goes towards room and board and if you want a car, you're going to have to pay for it yourself.
I don't care if he stays close or goes away, but I do want him to live on campus. I loved my college experience and wouldn't trade it for anything. I lived about 1hr15min from home, which was great for me, plus I was in the same town my grandma lived in. I think some kids need to be far away, some need to be close.
BTW, which college in Illinois is she looking at? I'm from IL and went to school in IL and may know someone who went to the school she is looking at.
Can I homeschool in college? LOL
(We won't homeschool until then, of course.)
I lived away (3 hrs) my first year and did the dorm and sorority thing. It was soo fun and I am glad I did that. After the first year, I moved closer to home and worked. I am glad I got both experiences and hope Katie can figure out which works best for her.
I'd be fine with it, and might even encourage it.
I moved about 6 hrs away from home for college, to another state, and it was the best possible decision for me. I got to create a new life for myself, and I ended up moving to that state. Yes, I'd miss DD terribly, but at least there's no-long distance cell phones now that they didn't have back when I was in college.
depends on what dc want to do. I would prefer them go wherever dh is teaching b/c dh is a college professor and they'd get free tuition. however, they have to go where the degree is offered as well.
dh did his post doc at the UofI. great school, fyi. we enjoyed the area the 2 years we were there.
It is 100% their decision if and where they go to college. I will encourage them to go to the best school for what they are interested in that they get into, regardless of location. I went away for private, very expensive college and took out loans. It wasn't the end of the world. We hope to pay for our childrens' college, but if we can't for some reason I will still encourage them to follow their dreams and go to the best school they get into.
I think living in the dorms is CRITICAL to the college experience I want for my kids. Frankly, I don't WANT them living at home and missing all of that. If THEY want to for some reason I would of course let them, but it would not be my preference.
I went to University close to home, and lived at home. I worked through most of it, and had a great time with the friends that I met through work (we still did the bars etc.). I then went away to teacher's college for a year (after 2 months in Europe) and stayed in residence, and had a blast...it was a really good year.
So....having said all that...it'll be very much up to my kids. DH came from a family where their degree and University was chosen for them, and I will never do that to my kids.
Seans_grl...I love that she's taking French...she could always come my way when she's all done and get a teaching job...we're desperate for French teachers here
Just throwing this out there- have her check out Rosemont College's french program.
If Dr. Conway is still there- the program ROCKS. I tested out of having to take 2 language classes at Rosemont- and just took a 400 level French conversation class taught by Conway. She totally was amazing.
KimandRoss~ Elmhurst, Lake Forest and Knox are the ones that she was considering the last we spoke about it.
Ms_Mellor~ She would love to live in Canada. In fact, one of the draws for her to go to school in New England is that she's so close to Quebec and Montreal and can visit. I don't think I want her living that far away permanently though.
Stacy~ I found out about Rosemont and their French program, but she's not interested because it's too close to home. I want her to go where she'll be happy, so I'm not forcing the issue.
DS is a senior and is going to KY about 3 hrs away to live with Dad and go to school. He is driving us crazy so I think we are going to help him move. He already has a job there and can live with his Dad. No my plan but he will not listen to us. I have resolved that he will have to learn and if we can help we will.
My DH is also in a community college in our town working on the same degree DS want so whatever.
DD1 have very good grades and will be a Junior next year so we hope she gets a full ride somewhere. She will go were the money is in state for the first couple of years. Then she will go to the best school she can get into with a medical program. We have several good medical programs around so I am hoping that she is within driving distance.
DD2 who knows. I will encourage the kids to follow the dreams within reality which DS is not in. We do not have degrees so this is something that I really want for my kids. DH will have one in 3 years or less but I am working to put them all through school with no degree........how funny is that.