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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
katie_cj
member
If you did Ferber for middle of the night wakings...please come in.
katie_cj
member
What was your experience?
Our problem right now is that Jake won't stay in his crib. I have no problem with him getting up once or twice a night to nurse, but my problem is that he won't go back to his crib afterwards.
How long before you had results?
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Re: If you did Ferber for middle of the night wakings...please come in.
What did you do? We've had success with the intervals. For night time it took about 3 days.
I might have to go for broke and just try eliminating the feedings. You know, if he STTN, it would solve my not staying in the crib problem.LOL.
I can't say that I followed Ferber to a tee. I've read so many different sleep training books that I probably ended up taking a hybrid approach. With that said, it really only took 3-4 days to see results. Jordan was waking up every (or every other sleep cycle) to nurse when we started. Now he wakes up once or twice, and can put himself back to sleep.
it took less than a week to get to 2 night wakings, then he went to 1 waking on his own after another 2 weeks.
I read HSHHC and we kind of tweaked things based on his responses (he would flip out more if we went in at certain points than if we just left him, so it was more of listening to different cries and timing)
Proud mama to a boys- 6/17/09 - a girl 2/23/11- and a boy 8/20/12
I have that book. I'll try finding the time to read it tomorrow. Something has to give.
Ya I don't know how often Jake wakes up but DD was waking up 3-4 times. We removed the 1030p feeding first and we just let her cry (about 20 minutes) the first night before falling back asleep. The second and third nights just got better. Once we conquered that we moved on to the 4a feeding and kept the 1a. Now she wakes up once between 1a and 2a and then is down until 630a-ish.
He wakes up twice to nurse. But lately, he's been waking up at 1030 and wants to co-sleep. He just flips out, I know he's not hungry because as soon as I put him in our bed/or on the futon, he falls right asleep, last night he even had a smile. I think part of it might be separation anxiety too.
I have the book, but I haven't read it yet. I don't want to sound snarky, I just want to be clear. You put him to bed at 730 and you don't go get him until 5?
I don't know if I can do that. He could probably drop one nursing session, but he actually nurses. He must be hungry...or is he just used to it...
We didn't follow that method. It just felt wrong b/c he is a definite night eater, not playing around- he would wake and eat, then sleep. However b/c of the frequency of waking he became a snacker. He was waking 5 times and just eating a little. What we did was CIO for the first wake, feed the 2nd, sleep train the 3rd (if it was less than 2 hrs from his 1am feed), feed the 4th. He learned to fall back asleep when not really hungry (through the 10:30 and 3am wakeups) and was then waking at 1 & 5 to eat. I tried a few nights of eliminating the 1am feed b/c it had worked so well earlier, but he wouldn't have it. Since it had worked so well with the others, I truly felt he needed food at that point and felt bad not feeding him so we went with the 2 wakeup schedule. Then on his own b/c he was only being fed twice and was being put back the other times, he extended his wakeup to 2-3- and now somewhere between 4-5 (and then back down until 7:30).
Proud mama to a boys- 6/17/09 - a girl 2/23/11- and a boy 8/20/12
Ok, let me explain a little more, cause I'm feeling a little like the bad guy here. For the first maybe 5 months of his life, DS used to wake up twice to eat. Usually around 12 or 1 and around 4 or 5. When we did HSHHC, we essentially got him down to only one feeding. We're hoping to get rid of that someday, but not yet. Before we did sleep training, he had a bad several weeks where he was up every 2-3 hours. Unfortunately, he had learned over the first five months of his life that every time he woke up, he wanted to eat, and that was the only way he would soothe back to sleep. Patting, shushing, nuks, my DH.... nothing worked except my boobs. So, I quickly went from doing 2 feedings a night to doing 5 feedings. Over the course of several days, we did Ferber and found that he was becoming more upset if we came in the room and patted his belly, etc. instead of just leaving him to CIO. He would cry and cry and cry and cry until I would eventually feed him, since it was (for example) 1 am and he was "due" for a feeding. It made no sense. I was essentially teaching him that he had to cry for 4 hours before he got to eat!?!?
So, my DH convinced me to turn off the monitor, turn on the white noise in our room instead of DS's and let him cry. That first night, he went down with no problem (which he usually always does), woke up at 1am, cried for 40 minutes and fell back asleep. He woke up again at 5 and cried for 20 and slept till 7. I decided I still wanted to feed him at the 5am time. So, by the fourth night, he slept until 5am, I fed him and he fell back asleep until 7am.
Also, my DS did "actually nurse" during his night feedings too. Unfortunately, that meant that he was a crappy eater during the day. He was just plain full and I felt like I was trying to force feed him all the time. When I stopped feeding him at night, his "actual nursings" switched around to the daytime, which seems to make both of us happier.
I didn't claim it was easy for me. It was the hardest three days of my life and my DH literally had to hold me in bed while we listened to him cry. But, I was desparate and not being a good mommy because I was so sleep deprived. He deserved a better mommy, we both needed undisturbed sleep and it took three miserable days to (hopefully for a long time) have a better outcome. It was worth it to me in the end.
Thank you for clarifying. That makes a lot more sense. And I honestly didn't want to make you feel like the bad guy, I just wanted you to elaborate. When Jake was up once a night, he was up at 4am, nursed and was down until 7. I can live with that, which is basically what you did. I have found that Jake does well with intervals before bed, but not in the middle of the night. I'm going to read the book and then decide what to do from there.
Thank you for giving me your experience. I know it's not easy, but when the sleep training works, we are a much happier family.
Sorry, it's still just a little fresh for me, so I'm a little defensive, I'm sure.
Good luck! I know it's a hard decision to figure out what's best for you and DS and what's going to work out in the long run.