Confession: I'm with MrsAlbin

PurpleK26 · April 2010

I too am kind of avoiding the boards. I just feel like an inadequate mother because my BFing and Pumping efforts = a big fat fail. Every time I see a BF post, I have some insane jealousy. It's a bit pathetic, I realize. And I'm sure I'll get over it before too terribly long, but since I'm still trying to get some milk back, it seems harder to see those posts. If I really can just give up, I'll probably be more ok with it.

SO, as I drive by to confess this... Congrats to all the new Mamas! I'm so excited to see ALL of you here! Love You All!

JEOZ · April 2010

Aww! I am struggling with it too. We had trouble from the beginning and the he had a nursing strike at around 2 months. I cried for 2 days about it. It is rough, you are not alone!

itsMsAlbin · April 2010

I'm sorry, honey. Are you seeing a lactation consultant?

PurpleK26 · April 2010

Thanks girls.

The LC has pretty much done all she can for us. I just can't seem to get milk back after the OB put me on a break from bfing and pumping. Kaygan won't have anything to do with my boobs since there's hardly anything in them.

Aside from that, I can't pump often enough to be able to build up a supply. They're so empty, that if I try to pump more than once a day, I get shooting pains in my milk ducts because there's nothing in them to pull out. And I know that only pumping once a day isn't going to build a supply up.

I'm not giving up yet, started Fenugreek and Mother's Milk Tea today,so I'm hoping that helps some. I just want her to be able to have some breasmilk, since her birth issues have given her such a low immune system. The last 4 weeks, I've been able to pump enough to get about 1 bottle's worth a week.

I'll do this till I can't get a drop if I have to!

MrsGhappilyeverafter · April 2010

I've been thinking about you and wondering how your and Kaygan are doing. I'm sorry it's not going well, but good for you for trying so hard! I hope the fenugreek and tea help. Have you tried the More Milk Plus supplements? They have a mixture of fenugreek and some other herbs that are supposed to work well together for your milk production. You can get it on amazon. You're doing a great job!

luckyangel · April 2010

Screw it! I failed BFing and only pumped for 6 weeks and said to hell with it. Your LO is doing just fine. BFing doesn't make or break you as a mother.

You're a great mom. Forget the milk, forget the ridiculous pumping, just enjoy your baby and let the rest be what it is!

Just my 2 cents

orleyl · April 2010

I still struggle with my feelings about not BFing. While logically I know I did what I could but I still feel so guilty and insanely jealous. I hate seeing BFing posts and dd is 7 mos. I dont think I will ever get over it.

ashley0616 · April 2010

It took me a long time to get over faililng at BFing with Olivia. I felt guilty, I blamed myself, I hated all the mothers who could do it. Then I started to relish in the freedoms I had not BFing, trying to look at the positives of the situation, and realized that she was perfect even on formula. So when it didn't work with Ellie, I just took it in stride. We tried, it didn't work (again), I asked for a bottle. I decided there was no reason to beat myself up over it, and also I decided not to mourn it. There was nothing I could do to make my body work, I had no control over it, so I had to let it go.

I really hope the supplements work for you, but if they don't, mourn the fact that you can't do it, and then try to move on. Seriously, you'll be a better mother for it and you'll feel so much better if you just realize you did your damndest and forces beyond your control made it impossible. GL hon.

lovemymaddy · April 2010

Oh no!

Can you see an LC? I'll be thinkign about you...

erinkate23 · April 2010

Hey chica Put me on the same list. After a month of heroic effort if I must say so, we've thrown in the breastfeeding towel - and I have a lot of mommy guilt too. The breastfeeding posts are hard. I feel insanely jealous every time I see something about it.... especially if someone has issues like oversupply or a fast letdown!! LOL We miss you and love you and adore you. Stop by any time.

For what it's worth, I do feel better having made the decision to completely FF. We will still breastfeed our next baby, but the battle to EBF was making us all miserable. It was almost a relief to admit defeat and just move on. I don't know if you're in the same boat, but if you are.... sometimes I think formula can make for happier families, rather than a stressed mommy whose life now revolves around boobage. PM me if you feel like it.... HUGS

PurpleK26 · April 2010

Thanks everyone! You ARE making me feel better!

ErinKate, I read your response to lovemymaddy. I had the EXACT same thing, Chunks peeling off in the shower etc. You're right, I was miserable, and when the nurse at my OB office told me to take a 2 week break, I was relieved. I was just so sure I'd be able to do the 'tricks' to keep my supply, and that nurse promised me Reglan to help if I lost my supply... then wouldn't give it to me later!

I really DO miss all my PAL girls!

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