Discipline: 2-3 year olds

mrs.littlejeans · April 2010

The temper tantrums have started at our house.

How do you discipline your 2-3 year old? What works for you?

charlotteL · April 2010

If they are just now starting for you I am sooooo jealous! Joshua was and is my king tantrum thrower. I learned that I just had to let him throw them. I walked away and when he calmed down then we would discuss what he wanted.

TexasSmith · April 2010

They just started for us too. One day when she wouldn't settle down I just put her in her room and let her scream. I checked on her periodically but left her there until she was done crying. Now whenever the pre-tantrum whining starts I ask her if she needs to go up to her room for some alone time. The answer is always no and she usually chills out. If she doesn't, I take her up and it doesn't take her long to calm down and be ready to come back out. I'd say after 2-3 days of the "alone time in her room" routine, she had the hang of it and I rarely have to do it anymore.

It even works if we are out. If she starts freaking I tell her that we'll have to go home so she can have some alone time in her room. End of tantrum, usually.

mom2ll · April 2010

I try to ignore it and stay calm. I will leave him on the floor and walk away (at home). I also don't give into his "thing". If he wants a lolly pop and throws a fit, I don't give into it. Most of the time he realizes that it's not working and moves on.

For bad behavior we've started using the count to 3 method, and it really works...

LisaK2b · April 2010

Time out (i.e. any corner). she can throw it however long and loud she wants there, as long as she stays there. I ignore it once she's there (unless she tries to run away). Time out minutes = year of age (so at least 3 mins) or until she stops crying, which ever is longer. I give her a chance to calm down before she has to go into timeout by counting to 3. She didn't get it at first, but now when she hears "one", she pretty much tries to calm herself down. There's a book call 1-2-3 Magic that is really good.

nvp05 · April 2010

They have started in our house too. I thought she was having tantrums a few months ago, but that was nothing compared to the real tantrums the past couple weeks. We're also wondering what to do...I think we're going to start time-out and see if that helps.

Nanner · April 2010

I use a variety of discipline techniques, depending on the situation.

I have found that the words "time-out" work for when they've done something punishable--hitting, spitting, throwing things--and it works well. Those things have really decreased.

But for tantrums, Hannah is the only one that really has them regularly anymore. When she just can't control her emotions, I just leave her alone, and she actually usually goes into her room on her own and gets in bed. Sometimes it's with a door slam! I always thought I'd have at least 5 more years until the door slamming started. Yes With Sam, I would take him to his room but called it "alone time," and would leave him there until he'd calm down. Now he didn't usually stay, and I'd have to go in and sit with him, but it worked.

I do the 1-2-3 when they won't listen to me or do as I ask. If I get to 3, they get time-out. That one doesn't work very well on my kids, so I'm still trying to figure that one out!

Nanner · April 2010

Grr, I had a whole response typed out, and the gremlins ate it!

We use different techniques for different situations.

We use "time-out" for things like hitting, spitting, biting, kicking, throwing things, etc.

For tantrums, Hannah is the only one that still has tantrums, for the most part. For that, I will take her to her room for "alone time" until she calms down. But most of the time, I don't even have to take her. She goes on her own and gets in bed to calm down. It's sometimes even with a door slam! I thought I had at least another 5 years or so before the door slams started. (I should add that with Sam, this technique was altered a bit. He usually wouldn't stay in his room, so I'd either have to ignore him, or if the tantrum got really out of control, I'd stay in his room with him until he calmed down. This sometimes took an hour--he was relentless with his tantrums! He still has trouble controlling his emotions.)

For when they just don't listen or do as we ask, we use the 1-2-3 technique, then time-out if we get to 3. But this one doesn't work so well with my kids, so we're still trying to figure this one out!

kjr · April 2010

Time outs are really what worked for us. Repeated time outs. When we first started them it would take maybe 5 or 7 in a row before he got that we really meant it. It sucked, but got easier and more effective as time went on.

Now, 3 - 3.5 has been constant back talk and sass. It sucks. It is getting better the closer we get to 4, but wow.

MrsMGR · April 2010

He isn't too bad yet, but if he hits, bites or something like that, we send him to the corner and count to 30. I will probably send him to his room once the real tantrums start!!

savannah11 · April 2010

kjr:
Time outs are really what worked for us. Repeated time outs. When we first started them it would take maybe 5 or 7 in a row before he got that we really meant it. It sucked, but got easier and more effective as time went on.
Now, 3 - 3.5 has been constant back talk and sass. It sucks. It is getting better the closer we get to 4, but wow.

I'm glad I'm not the only one experiencing that. Now when I tell O to go sit in time out he'll turn around and stick his tongue out at me. Awesome.

To the OP, we've had great success with timeout. Just walking away has never worked for us. O will get himself so worked up he might vomit. He's still unable to calm himself if it escalates so we have to intervene before that point. I think the key to any punishment is consistency. Do it every time without exception.

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