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Toddlers: 24 Months+
Why do people think this is okay?
Yesterday someone commented to me that my kids don't look anything alike. This isn't the first time I've gotten this comment and I just blurted out "that's because DS#1 is from my first marriage, he looks like his father". I was kind of caught off guard and it's a sensitive subject too. DS#1 doesn't have any contact with my ex-h and doesn't like to talk about him. He considers DH to be his father, not ex-h. I just think that in this day and age, without knowing family history, people should keep comments like this to themselves!
Just for the record, I do see lots of similarities in my boys. They may not look identical, but they certainly look like brothers!
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Re: Why do people think this is okay?
People are morons. With the age spread between your boys, I would assume there was at least a possibility that they are half- or step-siblings. I do see a brotherly resemblance between them in the pictures in your siggy, though.
I think if you say, "Well, not all siblings look exactly alike, you know!" it will back people off without requiring you to get into the whole ex-H thing right in front of your older son.
If it's any consolation, I get the same thing with my two kids even though they have the same 2 parents! My DH and I don't look much alike; he's blonde with blue eyes and fair skin. I have dark, wavy hair, brown eyes, and a darker complexion. My DD resembles her dad's side of the family, while DS looks like a little boy version of me at age 5. Like you, I can see the similarities, but the differences are certainly more striking to a stranger.
As the older child with a different dad, I totally understand your frustration. People say too much.
People are stupid. I often think that much of society has lot its ability to filter.
And FWIW, I see quite a bit of similarity between your two boys in your siggy.
Agreed...I don't think it was meant as a rude comment. My sister and I are 8 years apart with the same parents; she looks like my mom, and I look like my dad. I wouldn't be offended if someone said something about us not looking alike. You don't owe anyone an explanation about your family's history...a simple shrug and "eh, not all siblings look alike" is all you need to say.
Comments like this piss me off. Personally I think your boys do look similar.
My sister and I have the same parents and a few have mentioned that we look nothing alike, because she is thinner and her hair isn't as curly as mine is. Seriously? You look at our baby pictures and most can't tell which is which.
I'm kind of afraid of the stupid comments that may come if my second son (with the same father, my husband) comes out looking different than my first son. I'm sure I will have harsh responses for those people. I'm mixed and I married a Caucasian man, so it may be a sensitive topic for me.
My (16 yo) daughter is from a previous relationship, so Ben is her half-brother. I'm surprised that I haven't gotten this comment because people really are dumb. I would chalk it up to stupidity and try not to let it bother you.
What's funny is, my mom brought a baby picture of my daughter when she was a couple of months old to my house when Ben was the same age and I literally got goosebumps because Ben looked exactly like her. I mean identical.
I'm sure your boys love each other as much as if they were fathered by the same dad (like my kids do)...and that's all that matters. And FWIW, I think there are similarities between them too.
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