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California Adoptees go out of state?

DaniGirl0517DaniGirl0517 member
in Adoption
DH and I are just starting to consider adoption even though we are still on our IF journey, we are talking about the possibility.  An acquaintance of ours mentioned that many people in California go out of state to adopt because California regulations are much stricter.  Is there any truth to this?  What kind of regulations are semi-unreachable?  I guess I just don't understand.  TIA for any advice or help.
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Re: California Adoptees go out of state?

  • silliestbunnysilliestbunny member

    First off....omgosh...you are from Escalon???  I grew up in Linden, and lived right off of Escalon-Belota Rd.  Small world!  (I am not in Los Angeles.)

     RE: your question-  I wouldn't say that's necessarily true but I did find it surprising to learn that many agencies network and advertise in other states.  The agency that we are with advertises all over, including CA.  That said, all of the couples I've met with our agency have matched w/birth moms outside of CA.

    HTH

    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member
    I don't know if they're stricter, just different, as with each state. We had a possible situation out of CA, and the laws include no advertising (if I remember correctly) and some significant contributions to BM medical expenses. We didn't see any of them as unreachable, but we didn't do a ton of homework on it before we got our placement in PA.
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  • kgs0505kgs0505 member
    I'm using the same agency as silliest and they do advertise everywhere.  That said, they've told me about 50% of matches occur inside CA and 50% outside.  I don't think anything is more difficult, in fact the attorney told us that finalizing is only easier and faster in FL and should we match in FL, to get finalized there (2 wks) and all the other states are, although different, about the same as far as length of time, etc.  The good thing about CA is that BM's can sign waivers for the 30 day revocation period, so when they sign away their rights, it's done (not finalized, but no changing minds).

    TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption! 

    image


    Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!

    image   
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  • DaniGirl0517DaniGirl0517 member
    Hey silliestbunny, small world Smile I appreciate the experience you have all provided!  KGS0505, that would be awesome to get that signed!  I wish all states had that.  I think that would be one of my biggest fears, that the BM would change her mind and take our child away :(  I'm very glad to know all that.
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  • Dragonfly_BrideDragonfly_Bride member

    imageDaniGirl0517:
    Hey silliestbunny, small world Smile I appreciate the experience you have all provided!  KGS0505, that would be awesome to get that signed!  I wish all states had that.  I think that would be one of my biggest fears, that the BM would change her mind and take our child away :(  I'm very glad to know all that.

    When I think "adoption friendly states" I think of this post from one of my favorite bloggers:

    https://thanksgivingmom.wordpress.com/2009/08/04/adoption-friendly/ 

     

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  • CarFarCarFar member

    I think the laws they *may* be referring to are the singing of the termination of parental rights.   *some* may consider it a bit more difficult to get the paperwork taken care of in CA . As I PERSONALLY understand the law,  you have to wait until the paperwork is "recognized by the court" for it to be binding, which usually takes a couple days,  and the Birthmom can choose to do a 30 day wait on it as well. Also I think CA is pretty lenient on what BM expenses can be paid and how they are paid. 

     

     That being said, I've not seen most people wanting to go out of state, just because of the other costs involved in that. From what my agency has said,  a lot of matches DO end up in California just because we have a lot of people, and therefore more situations arise here  ? 

    IMG_1373 Cool Winston
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  • rwunderlich13rwunderlich13
    We're adopting domestically in state and we haven't noticed any strict regulations....hmm???
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  • DaniGirl0517DaniGirl0517 member
    Hmm, apparently the "advice" we were given was way off base.  We have two couples who successfully adopted children (one couple nationally and one internationally) though I don't know the specifics, that I can ask details from if we go this route, I was just startled to hear that.  Glad to know it isn't technically true. 
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  • Dragonfly_BrideDragonfly_Bride member

    imageDaniGirl0517:
    Hmm, apparently the "advice" we were given was way off base.  We have two couples who successfully adopted children (one couple nationally and one internationally) though I don't know the specifics, that I can ask details from if we go this route, I was just startled to hear that.  Glad to know it isn't technically true. 

    It's amazing what kind of information & advice you'll get from people, even those who have "been there, done that." The best thing is to do what you are doing:  asking questions, doing your own research, and getting as informed as you possibly can. Good luck with all your decisions!

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