3rd Trimester

Why Don't People Understand The Importance Of RSVP'ing????

This really annoys me. My mom and MIL have put in a lot of time, energy and money to put together my baby shower and it annoys me that people can't call, send a text or email to say if their coming or not. We sent out the invites 6 weeks before, which would give anyone plenty of time to decide if they were coming. My mom has to order all of the food and tables and chairs for my shower in two weeks and I do not want her to have to spend money on stuff that isn't needed. VENT OVER!

Re: Why Don't People Understand The Importance Of RSVP'ing????

  • Yeah some people just don't get that they should call and let you know they aren't coming. They prob just assume that not rsvp-ing = you know that  they're not going.
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  • Believe me girl I hear ya on this one. I was talking to my SIL and she told me not to expect her family to rsvp... they just don't get the concept she said. So my hostess has no idea how much food to really order and stuff...
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  • I feel your frustration!!  For my bridal showers there were always at least five people per shower that didn't RSVP and I had to call to see if they were coming.  If it comes down to needing a head count for rentals and food, I would just send a quick polite email.  You never know, they may not have received the invite.
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  • I know that table and chairs are different, but on food I plan for the middle.  No one says you must have tons of food at a shower.  So when it is gone, it is gone. 
  • I always find this rude too. It seems that as the generations progress people are less and less aware of proper etiquette which in many cases (this being one of them) exists for a reason.

    I remember planning my wedding....I had so many people not RSVP and then show up. Or RSVP they were coming and no show.  Or my favorite...RSVPing they were coming and taking it upon themselves to add a guest. It turned out that the entire wedding cost us about $300 per person....which is a lot of money wasted from people not RSVPing properly.  In this day and age where the couples are usually just starting out AND paying for their event, that can make a huge difference.

    Etiquette also says that if you are invited to an event and cannot go. You still send a gift. Nearly no one does that anymore. To me, ignorance is not an excuse. The proper thing is known by enough people...when in doubt ASK SOMEONE.

  • I totally get you.

    We invited 40 people to our baby shower and NO ONE RSVP'd! NO ONE! My SIL and friend were freaking out thinking people weren't going to show, so my DH and I ended up calling/texting/emailing people a week before the shower asking and explaining the situation. It was def. irking.

  • imageLexi0402:
    Yeah some people just don't get that they should call and let you know they aren't coming. They prob just assume that not rsvp-ing = you know that  they're not going.

    Strangely, my mom said when she was younger RSVP meant "respond if not coming." So she assumed anyone who didn't call WAS coming!  I think you're right though- no call=no show.  At least, that was the case for most people at my shower.  2 peopled rsvp'd yes the day before, but 2 more people were not a big deal since she was hosting it at my house :) 

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  • We just had my daughters bday party this weekend and only ONE person RSVP'd, we had it at her gym (she takes gymnastics) and when we got their, they asked how many kids were coming and I had no clue!  about 1/2 showed up (and of course all of our crazy family!)
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  • I'm right there with you...the same is going on with my shower next week. My mom is freaking out and making me call all of my friends, argh.
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  • This really annoys me!  My friend sent out our invitations a month before the shower.  The shower is this Saturday (17th) and the "last day" to RSVP was Saturday the 10th.  Only 5 RSVPed!!!   Only 5!  We invited 38.  I'm so annoyed.

    No body has any respected these days.  It's like they don't care about anyone else except themselves.  3/4 of the poeple we invited to our wedding RSVPed.  We were expecting about 150 but only about 80 showed up. 

    It just grinds my gears! Super Angry

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  • Yeah this is really frustrating me right now. People just assume they can show up and there will be food and a place for them to sit. I had this happen at my wedding and my half sister didn't RSVP so I assumed she wasn't coming so she didn't have a table for her family and got upset about us having to find a table last min and roll it in, very unclassy. She didn't talk to us a year after that issue even though it was her fault. Me and my hubby are tracking down friends next week to find out if they're coming since no one has RSVP'd and whoever we don't get ahold of we're assuming isnt coming and they will not have food or a place to sit. And I wont at all feel bad about it! :)
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  • I used to be one of these people.  I had the mentality of, "I mean they invited me so they should have room for me".  That was until I got married.  I just didn't understand all the semantics that go into an invited event until you have to put one together.  For my wedding, my cousin didn't RSVP and he bought a guest (whom I didn't invite)!!!!  Please tell me where this extra person is going to sit and what she is going to eat.  I don't think that people really understand how rude it actually is, I didn't until it happened to me.  But that's really not an excuse to be inconsiderate. 

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  • This one really ticks me off.  My baby shower was last weekend and I mailed and handed out 40 invites...the day before only THREE people RSVP'd!  I had my mom and my best friend kinda do the dirty work and see who was coming and who was not.  Even then some were "not sure". UGH.

    I was in charge of the food and chairs and just assumed that people were going to come...I ordered 30 chairs (we just moved and only have a dining room table for seating) and a 6ft sub from Subway.  My poor mom even had a huge cake ordered just in case!

    In the end only EIGHT people ended up coming. It all worked out...the people that came made it soooo much fun.  I haven't laughed that hard in forever.  We had tons of leftovers  Stick out tongue

  • I'm just glad to see I'm not alone in having friends and family who don't rsvp. I thought maybe it's just my circle of people that are clueless? Apparently not! It's very frustrating. And I notice it's always the same people who don't RSVP, even though I RSVP to their events every time.
  • I think I'm a bit confused, I understand the frustration with people who don't RSVP, but when you don't hear from people, doesn't the host follow up with them for their response? I would never throw a party without knowing how many people would be attending. I would be so embarassed if I didn't have enough food/ drinks for people, even if they were rude and failed to RSVP. 
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  • Ugh, this is a huge pet peeve of mine, too. It's just really inconsiderate to the party planners/hosts.

    My co-worker recently threw a baby shower for her niece. They invited 100 people (it was a combined shower for family and friends, and they have a huge family to begin with.) They got RSVPs from maybe 20 people, but they hear through various sources that they should expect and plan for 80 people. In the end only 30 showed up, yet they had prepared food for nearly 100 people.

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  • This happened at DD's first bday party, so I called everyone that hadn't RSVPed and asked them if they were coming. Of course, they all said yes. So we bought food for 60+ people, and only about 25 actually showed up. Pissed me off so much!
  • People who don't RSVP suck. 

    Yes, as a hostess you should follow up, but the point is you shoudln't HAVE to.  I threw a bridal shower for my friend two years ago...80 invited, 40 said yes, after I called most of them and about 20 actually showed up.  This friend just had her baby shower and she got a slightly better turn out, but still was missing about 25% of the people which really sucked bc her mom had it at a restaraunt and had to pay for those people.

    We had two whole tables of people not show up at our wedding that had RSVP'd yes and then another group who didn't show up for dinner, but then showed up after dinner...with their extened family (who wasn't invited) and then kept bugging my photographer to keep taking their family photos.  AND had the nerve to ask if there was any food left...since they missed dinner service.  (FYI...same people didn't RSVP or acknowledge my baby shower at all...and they've talked to my parents several times.)

    Some people just suck.

     

    Rose Proud momma of twin girls born 5/12/10
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