In need of advice

agdudley08 · April 2010

My preemie is two weeks old. We are staying at our local Ronald McDonald house because we live about an hour from the hospital. I am staying up until about midnight & getting up at 4 to pump when my husband leaves for work. I feel like I am resting enough other than the pumping but I feel so exhausted all the time. Anyone have any ideas for how I can feel more rested or is this just how it's going to be?

Sweets2005 · April 2010

I remember feeling the same way, pumping round the clock! Now that she is 2 weeks old, it would be fine if you dropped the 4am pump. You should be pumping 6-8 times per day but it doesn't always have to be at exactly every 3 hours and you can sleep for 6 hours without waking to pump.

If you are leaving NICU at midnight, and pumping right before bed- set your alarm for 6 hours and get some sleep! It will help your supply. If you would be waking at 4am anyway because hubby would wake you up, then leave the NICU earlier so you can go to bed by 10.

If none of that is possible, then sneak in a nap during the day.

At1stsight · April 2010

Not to give you mixed advice, but I personally wouldn't drop the pump all together at 4am. In the beginning, it's important to establish your supply and it's highly unlikely that your LO would be sleeping 6 hours straight at this age. I DO recommend getting more sleep though; can you go to bed earlier, like after your 9pm pump? You could stretch out the night pumps for 4 hours (1am, 5am) and sleep further into the morning.

I assume you're getting up and staying up at 4am because you want to be with LO as much as possible. I totally understand that feeling but it's important to take care of you too. If you're totally worn down, you can't be much good for LO. I pretty much rejected the whole "take care of yourself" thing except for the fact that DH made me do it. I was SO swollen, exhausted, not eating enough, etc. and he was pleading with me to slow down and take care of myself otherwise I wouldn't be able to enjoy my time with DS.

On another note, it'll actually be just as bad or worse when LO comes home; DS got up every 1.5-2 hours in the night for the first few weeks and took a while to get back down each time. I did a lot of napping during the day while he was napping to try to make up for it. It does get better after a while, but the first 2 months of bfing/pumping with baby are HARD. Try to sleep some more and get enough to eat/drink. GL!

Sweets2005 · April 2010

Yes it's true your LO wouldn't be sleeping 6 hours at this point so that is something to consider. After about 10 days I gave myself a break and let myself sleep for 6 hours at night, adding an extra pump in the day. My supply was great! Until they came home and I got NO sleep (just like the PP said) and then it tanked.

KellyMichelle · April 2010

You have been through alot so it is pretty normal to feel exhausted. Are you taking vitamins? That might help a little.

mommamorris · April 2010

i think they told me around a month or so that i could drop the night time pump. (sleep for 6 hours.) you could ask the lactation consultant at your hospital- it probably depends on your production and how your body responds to missed pumps/longer stretches, which you know better than anyone else.

honestly, i would nap during the day if i had a chance, at least "taking it easy" physically... because emotionally i was going through the ringer- and the body process physical and mental stresses the same. (leaving us feeling drained and tired.) that said, i schedule lunches and friends to visit with, because i wanted to be connected again. (that started at about a month too- i think at only a few weeks in i was still in shock and feeling like i needed "me" time to get adjusted to things.) having a reason to get up and feel like the world was still moving and going, even though we'd had such a traumatic event, was sort of enlivening. if that makes any sense.

it is just a hard time all around. with the emotional stress, the atypical situation. not being in your home.... all of those things add up. i remember thinking i couldn't get any more exhausted at one point- then before i knew it she was on demand feeds, and i remember when they called me one night (i was staying in the hospital, but one wing away) to come feed her- i actually thought, "what have i done? i'll never sleep again! people can't live on no sleep can they? i'm just going to die of no sleep." haha... of course, we took her home and there were the normal newborn "fuzzy because i was up 5 times last night with the baby" days.. during those few months i napped EVERY time she did!! i had to to survive! but after sleep training and a routine for feeding.. eventually you'll feel like a real person again! a real person with baby puke on your shirt who hasn't had a chance to shower in 3 days..

AviatorJJ · April 2010

We stayed at the RM house too. I was pumping as well and the whole experience was just so stressful that I don't know if there was anything else that I could have done to feel better. I ate well and drank a lot of water. My dh and I actually watched a Chris Farley movie and it was the first time I laughed in three weeks. Can you go out for a little while and get your mind off things?

ijack · April 2010

How is your supply? At 2w you should be pumping about an ounce/hour. I wouldn't drop any pumpings until at least 6w, but obviously that is up to you. I would go to bed earlier even if it's only for a couple hours before you get up to pump, and then obviously go back to bed after 4 until it's time to pump again. If you can fit in a nap during the day (even at baby's bed) that would probably help.

It's really card to take care of yourself when you're living the NICU experience. Good luck to you!

witt0198 · April 2010

I'm with the ladys that say don't drop a pumping. I pumped for 17months, and never had a supply issue, but in the beginning I pumped every 2 hours for the first 2 days, then every 3 hours for 6 weeks, then backed off to every 4. ANYWAY, I want to ask if your DH is helping with the pumping at all? My husband (thankfully) was very willing and motivated to help. He almost always took care of the dishes, it helps HUGE with cutting down the time it takes with pumping. We also bought extra bottles and flanges etc after awhile, so that we didn't have to do dishes every pumping if we didn't want too, that helped too. I was exhausted for I can't remember how long. I will say to just sleep when you can, day or night.....doesn't matter, just get it while you can.

agdudley08 · April 2010

Thanks ladies. For the past week or so I have been trying to lay down earlier even if it's just for a couple of hours before I pump again but I must practically die because I have been turning off the alarm & not remembering doing it. Then when I get up to pump at 4 I am so engorged I could cry. My supply rocks so the LC said it would be ok to drop a pump during the night.

Yesterday & today I fell asleep sitting at her bedside. Today it was during kangaroo care. I felt so guilty like I should be so awake and alert when I get to hold her, but we were both so cozy I couldn't help it.

To the poster who asked about DH helping with pumping. Yes, he is wonderful. My mom has been coming up to be with me while he works & she is a big help too. I don't know if I could keep it up without them!

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