Step-Grandparents???
My husband's parents are divorced and my MIL has remarried. They did not divorce until my husband was living on his own and we refer to my MIL's husband by his first name. I am having a hard time dealing with what the step-grandfather should be called. I feel that since my husband doesn't refer to him as dad that he shouldn't be called grandpa. I also feel that by calling him grandpa this could hurt my FIL, since he is called grandpa, and could be very confusing for my son. My son is almost 13 months and has started to say Da Da when his dad is around and he is starting to associate words with objects.
I also am having a hard time with the fact that the step-grandfather thinks he should be called grandpa. This is so hard for me since we have only known this person for almost 5 years. I don't feel that my son should have to call him grandpa.
Anyway, I am starting to ramble. I hope this makes sense. Anyone else have this dilemma? Anyone have any suggestions?? Thanks.
Re: Step-Grandparents???
are there other grandkids? What do they call him? Why not ask him or MIL what they would prefer?
We call my SFIL Grandpa. (Bampa is how it comes out)
My step-cousin calls her stepfather (who is my uncle) by his first name "Jim". My aunt and uncle have been together since my cousin was small though. My cousin's kids call my uncle "Poppa Jim". They call their real grandfather "Grandad"
I would consider using a variation of Grandpa....along with his first or last name
my dad's wife is grammy (or grammy firstname if we need to differentiate between her and MIL), but we are close with her.
my mom's husband will have no contact with my kiddo for the most part and if we do, DS can call him Mr Lastname or Mr Firstname. i think it depends on the relationship you have, and what everyone involved is comfortable with. my mom will be very angry with me probably, but i am okay with that and i am NOT okay with DS having any sort of familiar relationship with her husband,
Ugh, that's tough. MIL insists on calling her boyfriend "papa Dave" to DD, and I can't stand it. He is her 4th "serious" relationship (including one marriage) since DH and I got together 6.5 years ago. I don't want DD getting attached to any of her harem.
Now, FIL is remarried to a woman he has been with since right before DH and I got together and I love her to death. She calls herself Mimi to DD and it doesn't bother me at all.
I guess it just depends on your perspective.
Considering I will be a "step-grandmother" one day, I'd like to be called Grandmother <first name>.
I don't see how it's confusing for a child. They usually have more than one grandparent/uncle/aunt and they seem to figure out who is who.
My MIL is remarried too and SFIL has been in DHs life since he was 12. He is very much like a father to DH, and a great guy. DH does not call him Dad.
My nephews and DD call him Papa. (My dad is grandpa, and my FIL is also Papa.)
DD's stepgrandma wanted to be called Grandma (First name). I'm fine w/ it. I think she's seen DD twice cause she lives in another state w/ FIL. He's been out to see her more but he's still a stranger to DD. She is just rediculous and won't ever have a real relationship w/ DD. I care more about her having a relationship w/ my mother (Nana) and DH's mother (Grandma).
Boo.
That is BS.
Well, I'm of the feeling that I don't think it would be confusing for both of them to be grandpa. All of my grandparents were always just Grandpa and Grandma, and if we needed to differentiate, we'd throw in the last name or first name occasionally.
I will say - I have a step-mother, and she and I have never had the best relationship...and sometimes it's been downright awful. But I followed her lead from day 1 on what she wanted to be called with my kids, and I was so happy the first time she referred to herself as "Grandma." I'm just happy that she loves my kids unconditionally, and I think you should be too, if I'm being honest. I personally think a kid can NEVER have too many grandparents.
I have a feeling that I'll be feeling just as much of a "real" grandmother to my dss' kid as his mother will. Whatever.
Both of my parents are remarried. DS was about 3 when both parents started dating their SO so he called them by their first name and never changed after they married.
DD was born after they were married and they both are grandparent figures to her. My son gave my step mom the nickname Chirs because he couldn't say her full name so I refer to her as Grandma Chirs and an inside joke gone wrong came to her referring to my step dad as Grandpa in a different language.
I have a step-grandma, and we call her grammy, even though my mom and her siblings call her by her first name. DD has two step grandparents, and she calls them nana and grandpa, respectively.
I don't have a lot of love for my step-dad, but I don't think kids need to be victims of family politics, if at all possible. I don't think it takes anything away from my dad's role as grandpa to have my step-dad also called grandpa.
That is BS probably coming from someone who hasn't been in such a situation.
Lily has 3 grandmothers and 4 grandfathers since both my bio parents are on their 3rd marriages. Each of them have a different name that they chose on their own. There was no squabbles, no hurt feelings, etc. because everyone is an adult. We have a Nana and Papa (DHs parents), Pap and Grammy (my Dad and his current wife), Grandma and Far Far (Mom and her current husband), and Pop Pop (Moms 2nd husband who raised me). My Mom and her current husband got married when I was 28 weeks pregnant, so he has only been a part of our family for a few short months longer than Lily ::gasp:: but he is still an equal and he loves her as much as the rest.
Kids can never have enough people who love them. Most of the time it is the adults who ruin these situations.
On a personal note, I also had step-grandparents and they were amazing and never made me feel like I was anything less than my half-brother who was their bio grandchild. That is what you should really be hoping for OP.
Exactly. Why people feel the need to piss all over a title to "mark their territory" I'll never understand. Insecurity, I guess. Kids don't care how someone comes about the title, just that another adult loves them.