What's the worst TTC advice you've ever received?

Nest Laura · April 2010

For an upcoming article, we want to hear what you have to say on this question: What's the worst TTC advice someone has given you? Please share your thoughts below!

cbeney · April 2010

"The minute you stop worrying about it, it will happen"

yeah, right!

GymDogFran · April 2010

Similarly, 'Relax'. Yes, my eggs feel younger already!

*Chicken* · April 2010

'You'll get pregnant once you adopt'

I'm probably doing something wrong and that's why I'm not pregnant -from a co-worker who got pregnant the first month trying.

I was told that in order to get pregnant I have to have an orgasm -from a women who is positive that the only reason she got pregnant with both her kids was because she had a orgasm. So she has had only 2 orgasms in her life? Sad.

'Don't think about it' -from a friend who talks CONSTANTLY about when she's ovulating and when her and her husband did it each month which does not help me from not thinking about it.

The ever so popular 'you have to elevate your hips for 30 minutes so the sperm can get into the cervix' - from two friends who are convinced it's the only reason they conceived.

OscarQ · April 2010

cbeney:

"The minute you stop worrying about it, it will happen"

yeah, right!

This paired with Relax. Nothing drives me up the wall so much as some clueless ninny who says something so thoughtless. It's like gosh, it's been 2+ years of trying, a ridiculous numbers of tests and I've been told I only have a 5% chance of it happening for me without intervention but you know what - if I just relax and stop worrying about it, it'll happen.

That was a horrible run-on sentence but you get the point. IF women hate RELAX.

In general advice from anyone who hasn't been through IF is not wanted. Please just keep your mouth shut beyond saying something like, "Gosh, that must be a difficult thing to deal with." I don't think most people get the toll IF takes on your life and your relationships.

shyntrue · April 2010

"Stop trying, then it will happen..." This from a woman who is only 30 but says she is glad she had her daughter when she did (last year) because she is getting too old and might not be able to soon... (BTW, I'm 41 almost 42.... so if 30 is too old, what am I???)

DMD1029 · April 2010

The Relax/don't think about it comments and "You just need to have more sex!". This last comment is usually said with glee from some clueless person who has never gone through one month of IF let alone YEARS of it and doesn't understand that the joy goes out of baby making sex fairly quicly, particularly when, cycle after cycle, it doesn't work!

hav2run · April 2010

"Just enjoy having sex with your husband, and it WILL happen for you. If you do it too much, you won't enjoy it and it can't happen." I also had someone tell me to stand on my head for 15 minutes after sex and gravity will make conception occur. Ummm...yeah, right after I pass out from the headache.

Deanne Shehane · April 2010

MIL - "you're just trying to hard. It will happen if you take a vacation and relax" uuggh!

lisa&laird · April 2010

We have been ttc for over a year now. YES! I know that I am older.....but the absolute LAST thing I ever want to hear is......."Maybe God is trying to tell you something". Really? You think THAT is message He wants me to hear? WOW..........

Lisa

OscarQ · April 2010

On the funny side - when my mom was first married my grandmom became concerned that it was taking her too long to get pregnant. Grandmom gave my mom a book on natural contraception and told her to reverse it.

ETA - actually, that's not bad advice at all. Grandmom was ahead of her time - or smarter than most people about fertility. Wonder what she'd think about FF.

Jilliesmomma · April 2010

Relax/don't think about it, grates on my nerves an awful lot. The worst thing someone can say to me is, "It will happen when God is ready." While that is true, how does that help me? I'm 39 and God has severely shortened woman's cycles. I'm not Sarah (from the Bible), I cannot wait until I'm 90!

jcath · April 2010

I also hear alot of don't rush to the specialist. I know so many people who waited well over a year b/c they heard that over and over again.. Yes rush to the fertility specialist - they know what they are doing

izzourclue · April 2010

I haven't told anyone close to me except one friend. No one in my family. I get tired of getting asked, "so when are you guys going to have kids?" As if I can control that. I just say, "its not really up to us now is it."

mnlee · April 2010

Have sex upside down (if that's even physically possible) and stand on my hands afterwards. At one point, I was actually contemplating trying this. The things we have to endure.

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