Any college profs out there?

Re: Any college profs out there?

• madhatter2003

  September 2008

  My DH is in grad school still and has about 1 year left. He stays at home with our DD 2 days a week while he is finishing his dissertation and teaching.
  
  It will get somewhat easier once they get on a nap schedule, but could you hire a 'mothers helper' type of person to come over while you are working. Even if only a couple days a week, I'm sure there is a college student that would LOVE some extra cash to keep your DD occupied while you work in the other room, etc.  Once she stars moving/crawling you won't be able to work except during naps.
  

  My two PCOS miracles!
  

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• westerngal

  September 2008

  Hiring a student might work -- it's tough, though, because we need to avoid conflicts of interest, so we can't hire current students to do any work for us, in case it might affect their grade. And I'm not sure I'd want to hire someone I didn't already know. You're right, though -- it's only going to get more difficult once she's more mobile! Sigh....

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• madhatter2003

  September 2008

  Can you use someone from last semester, or does it have to go further back from that?
  
  At our university the education and nursing departments also keep lists of students who want to babysit/nanny part time. That might be another good source.
  

  My two PCOS miracles!
  

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• bdbart

  September 2008

  I'm with you - it can be really tough, especially when people assume that once you're done teaching you job is over and you can have all sorts of free time (count my DH among those people sometimes...)! Does your school have a teaching program or something like that? You may be able to find a student from a different discipline to help out, where you could both benefit. Is there a reason you don't want to ask your mother to watch her more? Even a few extra hours a week to allow you to get caught up might make a difference. I got lucky in that my department head is pretty good about letting people take on "other duties" after having a baby to avoid what you're doing. Is there a chance that you could participate remotely in some activities? Or maybe offer to take on some extra summer work in exchange for academic year release time? I know I ended up working after bedtime and on weekends even with some accommodations and course buyouts from grants, and it's been exhausting (especially with #2 about to arrive any day now). I'm finally learning that it's OK to let some stuff slide (like waiting for people to ask me to help out on committees, etc. instead of volunteering to take on any work; follow the 80% rule and don't expect everything to be perfect all the time; skip meetings or bring other work to do during them if you know they're going to be pointless anyway...) I know it's really stressful sometimes, and I often envy the adjuncts who really CAN teach and leave. It does get a little easier when they get older. I hope this helps... Hang in there!!!

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• flyer23 member

  September 2008

  I work a full-time job from home, but I also have full-time child care
  
  You will absolutely need some help... I would definitely start by asking your mom. If she can't cover all the time: Does your DH have any flexibility in his schedule that might allow him to watch your DD while you work for a few hours? Have you looked into in-home daycares that might be a little cheaper? Do you have a neighbor with kids who wouldn't mind watching DD for a few hours for a little extra cash?

  Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)

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• Halo79RN member

  September 2008

  dh is an asst prof and there is NO way he could do it!   but this is his first year.   Maybe it's easier when you're established?  I know a mom from our old playgroup who is a prof... she stayed home one semester, then brought her son to work for the next 2 semesters (1st one back she only taught one class). Some of the grad students in her lab helped her out with meetings.  Right now, dh brings ds to work with him on Friday afternoons so I can sleep (dd goes to preschool on his campus. I work that night). He essentially walks him around campus and reads papers while ds plays.  we are actually talking about getting  student to watch him during that time and some other days that I may need to sleep for work.  We're looking at students from a different department.  I'm actually going through a nurse at work who is an adjunct b/c dh is uncomfortable with asking around.  
  
  The other option is if there is a preschool on campus or an ed or child dev dept , ask around there to see if they have a list of sitters... or even the sororities... I know at UofI the sororities had a list of girls who would babysit and times when they were available.   
  
  good luck!  I give you lots of credit.. obviously there's no way I could bring dc into an ICU... but I have watched dh try to juggle time at home vs work and even work on his defense around the time dd was born... tough. 
  

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• westerngal

  October 2008

  Thanks so much for the suggestions, everyone! It's somehow a relief to hear people say that I definitely need help -- I've been feeling that I should somehow be able to do this, but with your encouragement I'll definitely try to pursue either having my mother spend more hours with DD or look into hiring a student. DH has a very intensive job with very little job flexibility, so I'm going to have to figure this out soon (and definitely before she gets more mobile!).

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