Anyone not love SAHM? long

LauraandMatt · September 2008

I know when I say it, it sounds horrible. Of course I should love SAH with my son...right??

When DS was 3 months old, I went back to work P/T
3 days a week and my mom watched DS. I truly feel like I have had the best of both worlds, spending time with DS most days of the week, but still getting out and working at a job I love the other days, while my mom, someone I really trust, watched him. I actually could eat lunch uninterupted at work!

Our lives are about to change drastically. We are moving from being close to our families and friends to 2500 miles away where I will know no one except DH. I am going to try to SAH b/c I would only work if my mom could watch DS and she is not coming with us....so, I am about to SAH full time during the week and only work occasionally on the weekends, after I get established out there. I have this huge fear of what it will really be like. I went through PPD and had a rough time while on maternity leave, so I think that is the experience that I think of with SAH full time.

I guess that I am just looking for encouragement to say that some days you don't love SAH and that it might be hard, but it's worth it....... Thanks for listening

teach2183 · September 2008

I'm probably in the minority as I SAH and actually rarely go anywhere. But I've always been a homebody. I suggest finding some Mom's groups to join. There are various places to look... meetup, yahoo, mamasource. It would be a great way to meet moms and kids for your baby to play with. And try to keep being aware of your emotions. If you feel like things are getting tough, start going out more. Go to the library/book stores for story time, go walk the mall. The more you get out, the better you will probably feel and the more people you'll meet!

Mrs. Ready. · September 2008

yup, there are absolutely days i wish i was still working but they pass. you are about to go through a big change and i wont lie, it will be hard but you will get through it, i promise.

Renee&Mark · September 2008

I can definitely offer some encouragement for you. I will start by saying OVERALL I love SAH and there is no way that I would want to leave my little man to return to work-especially FT.

There are days though that I get super bored, or days that I get completely burned out. Now that hes older, its easier in some ways, and harder in others. Hes not as clingy but of course hes into everything and hes super stubborn, and doesnt listen to me

I always tease DH that Im putting him in daycare and going back to work... although I would never do it.

Definitely get yourself involved in activities... a music class, storytimes at the library (free!), a moms group or playgroup (go to meetup.com and start searching now),
And familiarize yourself with the area and start doing some research - find local parks, zoo, touch museums, aquariums, etc.
It helps so much to get out of the house. I would go insane if we stayed in all the time. And DS is so much happier when we are out - even if its walking around Target or the Mall.

Good Luck!

liz07 · September 2008

I can defintly understand you. We live in an area where we have not family in sight so it is just me, DH and DD. I am also a SAHM. We live in a small town so there really is not any playgroups so it is just us. I make a point to get out of the house, like the PP said just go out to Target and look around, get yourself a cup of coffee! We often just go for a walk or to the park. My DD is only 8 months so she does not do a whole lot but I would not trade anything in the world to miss all that she has done. You never get this time back! GL!

photo_nut · September 2008

I had PPD, and it's rough, so I make sure I get out every day, even just to run errands. I live in an area where there isn't much to do, so I spend the past 18 months not really going to many playgroups because DD had health issues and there weren't many around here. Even the library only had activities once a month!

It's worth it, but yes there are some days that are just mind-numbing. I mean there are only so many times I can read Hop on Pop before I just go crazy! But it's worth it to me overall. DD is doing really well and is healthy and I get to hear her say a new word or watch her figure out something new and those little moments make it worth it to me.

mandymack · September 2008

Awww... that is difficult and I wish you peace and the best of luck with your move!!!

DH and I moved across the country from all our families and friends when I was 8 months pregnant so, I've never had any help and have SAH this entire time and it was hard at times, isolating, lonely, there were days I wanted to go back to work, there were days I wanted to move back to Texas, but there were also days that were just wonderful and I felt so blessed to SAH with my daughter. It comes and goes as your child grows and it went away completely for me once I got active in a mom's group, meeting up nearly every single day. I can't imagine life any other way now 2 years later!

But I know that doesn't work out for everyone so, if you SAH and don't feel fulfilled and want to go back to work, then do it and don't hesitate nor feel guilty! You have to be happy to be a present parent for your child.

jenn7200 · September 2008

There are some days that I love it and some days where I wish I was at work but the good definetly outwieghs the bad! Like the other posters I would also say to get out of the house. With DS I was always home but now that DD is here we get out just about every day and it makes a big difference. We go to MOPS. music class, tumbletime or to the park or zoo. DS is sooo much happier when we are out and about.

Princess_Ariel · September 2008

Honestly, I hated staying at home all day every day. I felt guilty everytime I was glad to have someone else watch DD for a time, even if I was still in the house. Six months later, I hate the idea of going back to work, and while I enjoy an occasional break, I love being with DD.
As the other posters said, get involved with groups, and make friends. One of my friends whom I met at a Gymboree class invited me to a mom's group, and yesterday we went to a Greek Festival. We have lunch at least once a week with other people from our groups we've made friends with, so not only did I make new friends, but I have a whole support group, and friends for DD.
You'll find it's worth it every time your son smiles at you and you're the first to witness or notice (that first tooth) his newest milestone. Warning - there will be days when only mommy will do, and those may very well be the hardest, but you'll feel the love, and all will be well.
GL to you with everything!

AgathiP04 · September 2008

I also worked 3 days a week part time and loved it! My mom watched DS so it worked out great. I was a part time teacher. My district wanted me to change my schedule to 5 days a week from 7:30-11:30 and I couldn't find childcare for DS (mom couldn't do that) that I could afford. Anyway...I became a SAHM.

Part of me always wanted to SAH, but I had a really hard transition. I was a teacher for 5 yrs and just really missed my classroom and the balance of a part time job...best of both worlds like you said.

However, now I feel even more balanced. No stress from work, no thinking about work when I'm at home with DS. I do get lonely at times, but I did find a moms group (just by going to a park...there ended up being seven other toddlers there, haha).

Anyway, it took time, but now I love it. I really do. I was planning to be a FT teacher next school year and I 'm not sure now. Good luck!

Oh yeah, and I meet up usually once a month with other local Nestie moms. Do you have a local baby board?

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Anyone not love SAHM? long

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