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Parenting
For those who answered my sitter post
It did not go as well as I expected. I asked her again before she left today what she wanted to be paid. She again said, whatever you guys want, we'll work it out on Sunday. I kept repeating that we wanted this settled before we left. This exact conversation went back and forth like this (in slightly differnt lingo) about 7 or 8 times. So finally, I threw out- so what are you thinking? 250? 275? 300? And she responded..."Well, it's going to be a little more than that, since it's not just going to be 5 hours".
Wow. I'm frustrated and have anxiety on so many levels. First, she refused to tell us what she was expecting. Then when I threw some figures out there, she seemed like it was a lowball figure. I re-iterated that she would not be expected to be with my kids during the overnight, and she said, "oh no, you're going to pump, I'm not going to make you get up" I said, No, I'm nursing and I fully had anticipate on having my kids through the night (thinking maybe this was why she was figuring on getting paid more than I thought was fair). That's great that she's trying to be nice, but I don't need her telling ME what the plan is.
So she left and it ended with her saying "you guys have always been fair to me and paid me well, so whatever you feel is appropriate". While that was completely sincere, I felt like crappy about the whole thing. I think $300 is more than fair, and I'm not sure she feels that way.
She just texted me. Saying, "Let's say $350, hope it's all okay!" ANd not that this is relateable, my friend is bringing a sitter on vaca with them for FIVE days and they are paying her (she's 23) $500!
Honestly, flame me if you want, but I think that's asking too much and I feel mad about it.
Melanie
~Ava Grace 7.20.06 & Lila Jane 7.22.09~
m/c #3 6/18/08
This discussion has been closed.
Re: For those who answered my sitter post
Hold the phone. So $250/$14 is almost 18 hours of babysitting if she was getting her regular hourly rate. $300 is about 21 hours worth of babysitting. How much babysitting is she expecting to actually do?
I think she's being unreasonable.
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
Ooooh, that sucks.
What do you give her per day right now? (I saw the hourly, but I'm curious what the per day total is) Before reading this, I was thinking of suggesting you double whatever her normal daily pay is for the two days.
ok she's being ridiculous on so many levels.
1 - if you have a figure in mind then SAY IT.
2 - $300 seems more than reasonable to me.
3 - she was v. unprofessional in how she handled it, imo
www.sittercity.com
Thanks ladies, your replies are resonating with me. I feel the same way.
She refused to give me an amount, then it wasn't good enough when I did. I feel like what she's asking is too much and it makes me feel used and resentful. Yes, she's good and I trust her, but what's reasonable is reasonable. And we will probably just give her what she asks, but there will be one person who will remember this: ME.
JOdi- we don't give her a set amount per day. If she comes 5 hours, we pay her that. But like I said in the prior post, I am ALWAYS rounding up (if she comes 12- and leaves at 4:15, 4:30...without question she gets paid until 5:00), and this time, I just wish I didn't feel like I was being taken advantage of, esp. when I think $300 is very fair.
Joe-- I would tell you where the wedding is, but I don't want it in cyberspace.
ami- just what MH said. And then he followed that up with: and your relationship with her is going to suffer down the line if she thinks she's not getting paid enough. (this was before her $350 text, when we were discussing her reaction to the 250-$300 amount).
Couldn't have said it better. And THAT was why MH wanted it settled beforehand....he didn't want to be saddled with a crazy high amount at the end of the weekend....he had a feeling she was thinking we were going to be paying her around $500 the way she was talking. But my point is....this is how the world works. The situation is not normal (it's a weekend event, not me leaving the house for a few hours to run errands) and you NEGOTIATE a figure... you don't say, 'whatever you want to pay me', then when I tell you- get upset, and then text me a request for $50 MORE than the highest figure I gave you.
Ok. I'll shut up now.
OK so I asked my husband what he thought and he thinks $400 is what she should be paid. Not that you should take his advice or anything but it was interesting to me that he completely disagreed with me.
He thinks
1 - meals/hotel being paid for is completely irrelevant ("cost that would not be incurred were it not for the assignment")'
2 - Lack of definition in the weekend (always 'on' not quite sure when she'd be needed')
3 - Having to go to a wedding (Dress, makeup) where you know nobody.
Basically he thinks we are all being cheapasses. He's ranting and raving as I type. Cos that's how he rolls lol
As a former nanny and someone who owned a sitting placement service, I have to agree with her husband for the most part. I used to charge a regular hourly fee, plus a smaller fee for the overnight hours.
Of course. I would never suggest meals and hotel being an "extra". She is getting those things b/c she is coming with us.
Thanks for YH's opinon and for the OP's opinions as well....good to hear arguments from all sides.
Totally don't think you're being an a$$!
I like all opinions.
But I do disagree with you though. And this is coming from a couple who treat her and pay her very well (as she treats us well also)...just one example-for christmas I gave her a $100 gift card and my husband handed her $200 and said Merry Christmas. So, I think we tend to land on the 'generous' side, rather than on the other.