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Parenting
So annoyed and adcive needed
I have a friend who very recently has become very sensitive. She was over the other day and her kids were holy terrors. Ripping up the garden, pulling things out of the wall, turning over every bucket of toys in A's room (the floor was literally covered in stuff), breaking dishes, the list goes on. And she really did nothing chalking it up to they are just little and having fun. Bull. They are misbehaving. That same day I also watched another friend daughter so she could take her older two on a field trip and her daughter was good as gold.
The next night we were at dinner with the good little girls mom and she asked how the day went since I seemed frazzled when she picked her up. I told her the truth and explained what happened. The other couple we were at dinner with felt the need to call the terror kids mom and say I was "gossiping" about them.
Terror kids mom calls yesterday crying asking how I could possibly talk about her kids and how gossip is the "tongue of Satan" (I had to quote that because it seems so insane). So now what? We just to be close but I now think that if she is going to let her kids run wild and if she is going to be so darn sensitive that I just can't deal with that.
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Re: So annoyed and adcive needed
well most people don't like to be talked about, and they especially don't like their kids to be talked about. I think its a normal reaction to be upset when you hear your friend said those things. Did you say anything to HER that day or even after that?
{Ava 5.16.06} {Ella 12.29.07} {Drew 2.9.10}
Ditto. I'd be very hurt to find out you said something to others about my kids behavior behind our backs.
I did. I actually asked her several times, in a nice way, to please have her kids stop pulling the flowers out. And when they ripped the stuffed animal holder that was in the ceiling out of the ceiling I said it was probably time for her to go home.
But lets be honest, I may have been in the wrong about saying something but the other little girl was there so her mom did deserve to know what was going on at the time her child was over.
My initial guess would be that your sensitive friend is a little depressed and likely overwhelmed and is having trouble coping. If that's the behavior of her children and you don't like it, then just don't have her ids over at your house anymore. If the conversation comes up, you can choose to either lie to try to spare her feelings, or be honest, but gentle.
As for the gossiping part, I'm confused. How many couples were there when you were talkin about it. It almost sounds like there were three couples, and it wasn't "good girl's mom" that called the sensitive friend. If that's true, and you were talking about that in front of a third couple, well, lesson learned, but that's just not nice. If that was a private conversation between you and good-girl's mom, that's one thing. In which case, she betrayed your confidence. But if you spoke even slightly negative about her kids in front of two other couples at dinner, yes, that was gossiping.
I think you can be annoyed about her kids trashing your home and misbehaving while they were over. But if I heard from another friend that someone said something bad about me behind my back, I would definitely be upset. That said, I also don't think there is anything wrong with telling your feelings about situations like these, especially when asked, to a friend. I suppose it all comes down to what you actually said and how you said it to the "good girls'" mom. Maybe the way you said it caused her to think you were being mean about it, which is why she told the other mom? Or, perhaps, she just isn't as good of a friend as you think. Some women just like drama and will go and blab anything you tell them in confidence to someone else just to stir the pot.
Either way, I probably wouldn't be hanging out with either mom anymore, and I definitely wouldn't be doing them any favors by watching their kids.
I dont think it was gossiping at all....you were asked why you looked frazzled and you told them. Personally I think the other parents were the gossipy ones who just HAD to go running to the other parent to say "soandso just told me your kids are awful"
Ditto Dai.
How many couples were at dinner?
What Dai and X said.
This. It wasn't like you went to dinner and made an opening remark like, "let me just tell you, Betty's kids are just awful......." She asked, you spilled your frustration.
I'd probably be finding new friends, or at least not babysit for or hang out with them unless needed (like your DH's are friends and you can't get around it). I really don't have time, or the desire, to deal with high school (or preschool, really) drama like this.