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Arguing in front of the kid(s)

MellyMelBMellyMelB
in South Florida Babies

So...how does this go, what is the rule in your house?

We have been pretty good about not arguing in front of Sophie. We are not screamers anyway so when we do "argue" its going to appear like a normal conversation to Sophie. Yesterday it got heated and fast but I thought we were far enough away from where Sophie was sitting for her to not catch any negative vibes. I was wrong! These kids are so sensitive to any change in the air. At one point Sophie interrupted us and said to ME, "Mommy! You need to hug Dada. He is a nice boy!" This was in her little "town mayor/drill seargant voice. It took the wind out of my sails and calmed the fire that was about to burn my husband alive, that is for sure. LOLOL.

Anyway.....how do you handle this stuff? I have a very hard time holding my tongue when I get upset since I want to get it resolved right away. This makes it tough when its hours before bedtime.

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Re: Arguing in front of the kid(s)

  • MrsVictoriaBMrsVictoriaB
    I'm very inpatient so I always want to hash things out there and then, but I try my hardest to wait til bedtime. I've slipped a few times and always feel guilty about it afterwards. I think it will get easier for me to refrain from arguing in front of him when Jake is older and more aware than he is now

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  • karenlisa714karenlisa714
    My husband and I both get very, uh, passionate around each other when it comes to arguing and we tend to snap and just let loose. Lately though since it is very obvious that Zachary really understands just about everything that you say around him, I have been telling DH that we need to try to act like adults and not be a$$holes to each other in front of our child. It is hard to calm down sometimes when we are really annoyed with each other, but better to start practicing now than say something he shouldn't hear when he's old enough to repeat it to all of his friends, or even worse, my parents, LOL.
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  • MrsLeannaMrsLeanna member
    This is something that we've tried very hard to get better at, but have not been too successful.  We are both pretty short-tempered people so we tend to argue pretty regularly about stupid stuff, and yes even in front of Alexis. and we are both yellers.  We don't usually let it get out of control but and are able to resolve it quickly, but we do it.  The way I see it, its a good lesson in conflict resolution.  I hope that we can do it less in front of her, but I don't want to never argue or have a disagreement in front of her because I want her to know that its ok to disagree.
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  • ANJ410ANJ410
    Funny you mentioned this, because we rarely ever have big fights, but last night we were yelling at eachother in front of Nicky over something stupid and after Jimmy walked out of the room, Nicky asked me "Mommy and Daddy, angry?" I felt really bad.  I just told him that everything was okay and that sometimes people argue, but mommy and daddy love eachother and we love him.
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  • FutureHernandezFutureHernandez member
    I have a very short fuse we fight over stupid things.  It's hard for me to wait until Matthew is sleeping to "talk" about things.  I'm   A couple of times it has gotten nasty but we try to keep it down in front of Matthew.  But I'm sure he can sense the anger in our tone. 
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  • karukarukarukaru

    We try not to argue in front of him or to be more civil but it doesn't always work that way. Logan is pretty sensitive. Sometimes DH and I are not fighting, just talking loud (DH is Israeli and I am Venezuelan so Talking loud is sometimes our domain! LOL), and Logan doesn't like it. He starts to babble or say "Mama" or "Papa" loudly with a concerned look on his face. He really does not like when we fight or when he thinks we are fighting so we always tell him things are fine and then we lower our voice so he doesn't freak out.

     

    I also agree with Leanna. Its healthy for them to see you fighting sometimes (as long as its not in a mean demeaning way) because it will teach them conflict resolution.

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  • SoontobeSavinoSoontobeSavino
    Listen, the reality is, people fight and argue, including mommy and daddy. Alex sees the good, the bad, and the ugly. He also sees us make up, which is all really important lessons as far as I am concerned. We dont hide our emotions in front of him. Most of the time the boys just go about their business while were going at it, and other times all will hover around to see what the deal is. Whats important is that if they do see you argue, that they do see you make up as well.
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  • princess370princess370

    funny u ask this because i was reading up on this and i kept finding the same answer in a nutshell:

     

    Whats important is that if they do see you argue, that they do see you make up as well.

    i never saw my parents argue and then they divorced at the age of 7 so i never really understood why or how to deal with someone yelling at me, so therefore I wear my heart on my sleeve(i have been told) i can cry at any quip from my husband....

     my two cents worth...HTH


    Nicole MOM 2 MARIO & NICOLAS
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