College for LO... you pay, or (s)he pays?? ~discuss~

ablou · April 2010

What are your plans?

Personally, I think that college is the financial responsibility of my kid. DH and myself are responsible for his education through the 12th grade, but college and grad school are all on him... whether it be athletic or academic scholarships, loans, grants, or working his way through.

The way I see it is that he can get a loan for college when he's 18, but I can't get a loan for my retirement when I'm 70. I don't want to eat cat food when I'm old, so I'm saving for me right now.

It was instilled in me at a young age (like, junior high), that I would have to be responsible for college, and that I was expected to get an academic scholarship. I got a scholarship and minimal loans (they're almost all paid off now), but I've noticed that lots of ladies are saving for their LO's college educations, and I was (honestly, and not snarkily) wondering why.

sunflowergrl · April 2010

I had help from my parents, but took out loans to cover the rest. DH on the other hand had his entire undergrad paid for by his parents and keeps telling me he wants to be able to do the same for our kids. However, I can tell you, unless we win the lotto, there is no way that is going ot happen. Not that I don't wish I could, but it's just not going to happen.

we both teach, and we teach inthe city, which is much less pay than if we move to the 'burbs. It's damn near impossible to get a teaching position in the 'burbs so I forsee a long haul in the city.

That said, we do have an account for DD, and all her baptism money went into it, and she has some bonds, and anytime she gets money, we will put it in there. So, hopefully that will help.

skinnursemandee · April 2010

I paid for all 4 years of undergrad and 3 years for my masters. I fully plan on paying for my child's college education. If she wants to pursue a post graduate degree then my husband and I will assist her but she will have to pay half or take a student loan for half. I want her to be able to complete her undergrad with her only stressor being her studies and not worrying about how she is going to pay for it. I think it is my job as a parent to assist her in her education needs until she reaches Post Grad level.

Temp937723687505543 · April 2010

It was always known in my house growing up that our parents would pay for college. I was one of the very few people I knew that had zero student loans after graduating, which I am so thankful for. I do plan on putting DD and any subsequent children through college.

ABCmom!!! · April 2010

Well, I'm most likley in a different position as you, therefore my perspective is different. My mom is a poor good for nothing mom (ya, I know harsh, but it's true) She has made my life so much harder then it has to be, and everything I have, i had to work my a$$ off to get. So, how I see it I don't want my kids to struggle, i think I will pay for most of their education. I will help with as much as I can as long as they are putting in effort. If they are just plain lazy and leaching off me then that's a different story (I hope that is not the case).

skinnursemandee · April 2010

)(Christina)(:
Well, I'm most likley in a different position as you, therefore my perspective is different. My mom is a poor good for nothing mom (ya, I know harsh, but it's true) She has made my life so much harder then it has to be, and everything I have, i had to work my a$$ off to get. So, how I see it I don't want my kids to struggle, i think I will pay for most of their education. I will help with as much as I can as long as they are putting in effort. If they are just plain lazy and leaching off me then that's a different story (I hope that is not the case).

Exactly, my parents were great but with 10 kids I knew damn well that college was on me. I worked 3 jobs and applied for every grant known to man. I graduated not owing anything and having paid it all on my own but the struggle was insane. I dont want that for my daughter.

Mereou12 · April 2010

We haven't yet set anything up because we're not exactly sure what route we want to go.

At this point, I think I'd like to do what my parents did with my brothers and I: they assisted us with a portion of our expenses, but the majority was up to us. In my case, my parents paid for my room & board/rent, and I took out loans for my direct educational expenses. They didn't want me to be in an extreme amount of debt, so they helped me with as much as they could. Many of my friends had twice as much loan debt as I did, because they were taking out plus loans to help cover living expenses.

DH, on the other hand, paid his own way 100%, thanks to joining the National Guard and doing ROTC. If not for those options, he never would've gone to college. His parents weren't able to help him at all, and he doesn't want our son to stress as much as he did about paying for college.

So, I think we're going to save a bit for his college, but we're not aiming at paying for everything 100%. We feel that it's a good balance of helping our child, while giving him something to strive for on his own (scholarships, etc).

ablou · April 2010

)(Christina)(:
Well, I'm most likley in a different position as you, therefore my perspective is different. My mom is a poor good for nothing mom (ya, I know harsh, but it's true) She has made my life so much harder then it has to be, and everything I have, i had to work my a$$ off to get. So, how I see it I don't want my kids to struggle, i think I will pay for most of their education. I will help with as much as I can as long as they are putting in effort. If they are just plain lazy and leaching off me then that's a different story (I hope that is not the case).

My mom was poor (but definitely NOT good-for-nothing. She was an amazing mom). I had to work my a$$ off for everything, too, and I think that it was valuable experience for me that's helped shape me as a person. When I was the one paying for & responsible for my own education, I worked so much harder, and kept things in perspective for me.

I just can't stand the sense of entitlement that most kids have now, and I do not want my boy to walk around like the world owes him something. For me, having college be his responsibility is part of that.

MamaS111 · April 2010

We will pay for our childrens education as long as they uphold a GPA of 3.0 or higher. DH's parents paid for his 4 year degree, as well as mine paid for my 4 year degree. We both have had no loans to re-pay which has been a huge help for our family. That is why we began a college fund the first month DS was born. That being said, when I say we will pay for his school.. that is what we will pay for. His car, rent, and activities during college.. he will have to work to pay for... but as his parents, we will pay for his education.

Piranha54 · April 2010

We're hoping to be able to pay for most of it, with ground rules. I'm very lucky in that my grandfather left an education trust for my cousins and I. When we had all finished school, the trust was split and i put that $$ into a trust for a future child, so have a nice start. Of course, if DD goofs off too much, it'll be enough for several great trips to Bora Bora....

AMYfromKY · April 2010

We will pay. We will also pay for weddings. I feel like both are my responsibility as a parent.

finally2006 · April 2010

I will help my kids out as much as I can without hurting my own chances for a successful retirement.

I have a degree that my parents paid for and I got good grades but I think I would have thought much more carefully about the degree itself had I shouldered some of the financial responsibily.

DH has a HS education and has a WAY better job than I do... go figure.

Most importantly, I am going to support my children no matter what they decide to do. I would almost rather help them live in a another country for a time so they gain world perspective.

cchill01 · April 2010

MrsChibs:
It was always known in my house growing up that our parents would pay for college. I was one of the very few people I knew that had zero student loans after graduating, which I am so thankful for. I do plan on putting DD and any subsequent children through college.

This. I was blessed to go to whatever school I wanted, without thinking about the cost. My parents wanted me to pursue my dreams. If I had to apply for scholarships or loans, I wouldn't have ended up going to my first choice school. I want DD to have the same luxury.

smilelari · April 2010

My parents paid for a big chunk of my college education. There wasn't unlimited money, but I had $20,000 from them to help pay. Everything above that was on me. I have always appreciated that because of their help I didn't need students loans and didn't start out my adult life already in a heap of debt. I intend to do the same for my children

ETA: DH's parents didn't help with college and as a result he didn't go. Now at the age of 38 he is a full time employee and student on top of being a parent. He also is highly in favor of helping LO pay for college

mernamom · April 2010

My parents helped me through college but did not pay for all of it and my husband paid for everything on his own. I would like to go the route my parents did and help our children out with their college expenses but in no way do I feel like I need to foot the entire bill for my child's college education. If it is something that they want, I feel they need to figure out how to make it happen.

NastyAnnie · April 2010

Ha. I'll still be paying my own college education off when the HH gets ready to go to college. If I could do it on my own, he can too. Being responsible for that sum of money made me think very hard about my future, and make the appropriate choices to make my education worth it. That was good for me. It'll be good for him as well.

That being said.. my kid will never go hungry, or lack for a roof over his head. I want him to be independent; I don't want to be my dad.

Tonya_G · April 2010

We'll help our kids out as much as we can, but it's pretty much going to be on them. I'll probably still be paying off my student loans at the rate I'm going when they get to college anyway... lol

prlmrg08 · April 2010

I think it is very important to help children understand financial responsablility. If your child wants to be a teacher and goes to a private college that is $40000 year... is it teaching them how to make smart financial decissions to live within their means? I want my children to understand how long it will take them to pay off debt.

With this said, we have told our kids we will help them with a public university education with in state tuition, but they will be helping as well. If they want to go out of state or to a private college they need to get financial help.

My son does have a college trust fund that was set up with life insurance money that his mom left for him when she passed away... and that is his to use for his education. My daughter gets savings bonds every year from my grandfather for Christmas instead of toys to go towards her education.

Mommi2B2009 · April 2010

My parents paid for ZERO! Not necessarily because they didn't want to, but because they couldn't...I got grants and loans...My husband's was paid for by grants, and the remaining, his parents paid for. I will definitely do whatever I can to help DS and any future children.

ablou · April 2010

prlmrg08:
I think it is very important to help children understand financial responsablility. If your child wants to be a teacher and goes to a private college that is $40000 year... is it teaching them how to make smart financial decissions to live within their means? I want my children to understand how long it will take them to pay off debt.
With this said, we have told our kids we will help them with a public university education with in state tuition, but they will be helping as well. If they want to go out of state or to a private college they need to get financial help.
My son does have a college trust fund that was set up with life insurance money that his mom left for him when she passed away... and that is his to use for his education. My daughter gets savings bonds every year from my grandfather for Christmas instead of toys to go towards her education.

I love all of this. Seriously. Love. Brilliant plans!!!

JinglesChic · April 2010

I'm right there with you Ablou. We're saving money, but we think we're going to give him that when he graduates with the hopes that it'll be enough for a down payment of a house. I rather help him invest that way than give him all the money for college. Of course, if it's either we help or he doesn't go to college, we'll be helping. But I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like it's his responsibility.

berrysweet · April 2010

skinnursemandee:
)(Christina)(:
Well, I'm most likley in a different position as you, therefore my perspective is different. My mom is a poor good for nothing mom (ya, I know harsh, but it's true) She has made my life so much harder then it has to be, and everything I have, i had to work my a$$ off to get. So, how I see it I don't want my kids to struggle, i think I will pay for most of their education. I will help with as much as I can as long as they are putting in effort. If they are just plain lazy and leaching off me then that's a different story (I hope that is not the case).
Exactly, my parents were great but with 10 kids I knew damn well that college was on me. I worked 3 jobs and applied for every grant known to man. I graduated not owing anything and having paid it all on my own but the struggle was insane. I dont want that for my daughter.

I did the same (3 jobs, crazy struggle to make it through), and I found that because of that, I took college MUCH more seriously, and worked a lot harder. It felt like (to me) it meant a lot more to me than it did to my friends who had it paid for by their parents.

For that reason, we will help out with LO's college as we can, but LO will be expected to finance the bulk of it herself.

alatchaw · April 2010

Hate to say it, but financial life will be rough for our children. Neither DH's nor my parents paid a red cent for cars, college, our wedding or our house. Everything we wanted, we worked hard for and paid for. In my opinion, I learned a lot by being responsible for the things that were handed to a lot of my friends and I honestly feel like I would be doing my children a disservice by handing everything to them.

We have decided IF we buy a car, we will buy an old, rickety car and it will be shared amongst our children (we are planning on 3-4) and it will be their responsibility to pay for insurance and gas if they want to drive it. I think that's fair. If I put any cash toward college, it will probably be books or something affordable to show that I am proud of their education, but it is still their responsibility.

JaysonandKristin · April 2010

We are very fortunate that DH is a disabled veteran. As long as Hank makes less than $11,000 annually while he's in school, he will qualify for free Cal State or University of Cal tuition. Like I said, very fortunate.

BrideBuddies · April 2010

At age 18, a child is no longer a child and he/she should be responsible for his/her own expenses. It builds character and allows them to make their own financial decisions. I think this is extremely important in life. And I agree, there's too many young people out there with this inflated sense of entitlement and no understanding of how to survive on their own.

I also believe teenagers should be able to get small jobs to pay for their own luxuries... mowing lawns, babysitting, etc. We have a 13 year old neighbor who I hired to pull weeds for me last summer (I was very pregnant!) He'd never really done any kind of "work".. even in his own home.

pregali80 · April 2010

This is a BIG and interesting topic. I always sat in weird silence when co-workers would say they were paying for their kids tuition. All I could think is "are you rich?" cause we are talking Parsons School of Design (from Project Runway) and other big schools. Then the kids would change their mind and the parents would be out buckets of money.

The only way that is happenning here is if I meet a rich man or I strike gold. And heaven help if my kid changes his mind, which I'm sure he will, cause hello, 18! I paid for my *ahem* 3 years of community college, which I never graduated from, and then my trade school (Cosmetology) which I am still paying for.

My parents could not afford to put me or my brothers through school, and my younger brothers got into trades, like sheet metal, etc. So we all took care of our own education and my parents supported that with food, side money, and babysitting.

teeah22 · April 2010

Dang, I missed this post last night! It's probably dead but I'll throw in my two cents...

I have paid for everything myself, there was never a choice for me. I started working at 16 and only stopped for my first couple years of dental school. I worked all through college as well, and spent my school breaks working 40 hours a week instead of going on spring break like my friends. I had to learn how to survive on what I got paid every other week and my loan check from the beginning of the semester had to last all semester long. I think this all taught me a lot, I have friends my age (going on 30) that are still living off of mom and dad.

My plan would be to make LO take out loans, etc and figure out how to live that way. After graduation, I'd love to either completely pay off or help pay off his student loans, as a gift for having gotten through it all.

LSzwaya · April 2010

DH and I plan to make a contribution to help but we also expect that our children will take care of most of their education on their own. DH spent most of his college years drinking and blowing off class and regrets that now. So we think that if our children are carrying most of the financial responsibility they will be more likely to work hard.

LSzwaya · April 2010

JinglesChic:
I'm right there with you Ablou. We're saving money, but we think we're going to give him that when he graduates with the hopes that it'll be enough for a down payment of a house. I rather help him invest that way than give him all the money for college. Of course, if it's either we help or he doesn't go to college, we'll be helping. But I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like it's his responsibility.

I like this.

twobecomethree · April 2010

i was lucky, my parents paid for college for me. i was responsible for grad school. but i was also told that they would pay for a college not a wedding.

I'd like to do the same - we plan on paying for college and private HS (if they want - DH went to a private school that I'd love for our kids to go to) and I would like to pay for the wedding for any girls we have (or at least part of it).

heather_09_15_07 · April 2010

I don't want my kids to be working full time and going to school at 36 like I am. It's a lot, and it's very hard. We will do whatever we can to help our kids pay for school without sacrificing for retirement, but our kids will also be expected to get part time jobs and contribute most of the money from those jobs toward saving for school.

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College for LO... you pay, or (s)he pays?? ~discuss~

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