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Infertility
XP from GP: My heart is breaking for this kid.
I was teaching today, and at the end of class this kid (14 years old) starts to talk about how his mother has been really sick lately. She finally went to the doctor, and it turns out that she's pregnant.
He's currently an only child. His mom is 40. His parents decided that because they need both parents to work to continue to afford their house, expenses, etc, that she needs to have an abortion.
She's having it today.
he was really concerned about his mom, and was asking me if she was going to be okay, etc. So I told him that she might be in some pain today and tomorrow, and that even though she decided that this is what was best, she might be really sad, so he should just try to be the best kid he can in the next few days.
Before he left the classroom, he said "I really wanted a brother, too".
The whole time I was trying not to cry because my heart was breaking.
But the question I'm left with is this: how on EARTH is this appropriate conversation to have with your 14 year old son? I have no problem having the pro-choice/pro-life debate, but why on earth does your CHILD need to carry his mother's abortion on his shoulders?!
My heart was breaking for her decision, but even more for the pain of this poor kid.
Why does he have to know this?
Why?
PS - this is not meant to remotely start a pro-choice/pro-life debate. This post is solely about this situation.Dx: MFI, DOR, 9 Fibroids and homozygous MTHFR
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Re: XP from GP: My heart is breaking for this kid.
Oh my goodness.
IMO, there is no need to have this conversation (the "mommy is having an abortion" convo) with your child - unless they are a grown adult (over 18 years of age). No 14 year old child should have to carry this burden.
Poor boy. You are going to be wonderful in the classroom Gen (and already are) because you handled this situation much better than I would have. I wouldn't have known what to say. Props to you for not only being a teacher but also being a mentor and counselor for this poor child.
How terrible. My initial reaction is shock that they discussed this with him. But then I thought, what should they have done? Lied to him? He is not really a little kid. Not sure...
Wow that poor kid
Wow that poor boy!! I couldn't imagine putting that on that child's shoulders!
It's understandable why your heart is breaking!!
I am heartbroken for that kid. That should not be his cross to bare. That's very very sad.
Wow. This brought tears to my eyes. That parent handled this situation very irresponsibly. Poor kid! He is lucky to have you to lean on.
Oh my goodness, that has me tearing up just reading it. I probably wouldn't have been able to hold myself together while talking to him, but sounds like you gave him some good advice.
That is not something I can imagine talking to my DSS about (he's 15). There's just things he doesn't need to know about our life, i.e. our struggles with IF, financial decisions, etc. He's too young and doesn't need to have those types of burdens. Poor guy.
OMG.. You are awsome.. I am not sure if I could have had this discussion with a 14yr old. I agree...shame on the mother for involving this young boy. Its sad to see how this has affected him already at 14yrs old, I wonder how it will continue to affect him as an adult..
Its a shame that we require our children to grow up so quickly. I think the most important thing to me at age 14 was boys, cheerleading, and going skating on Saturday nights..
Blythe Elizabeth is here March 27,2012
Wow! I do not think I would ever tell my child I was choosing to have an abortion. Something along the lines of, "Mommy isn't feeling well and needs to have a surgery to make her feel better" or something of the sort.
That poor little guy doesn't need this weighing on his shoulders. It's not his burden to carry.
You did a great job, Gen! I hope he found some comfort by going to you. ((hugs))
12/99 - Miscarriage at 12w - 6/08 - BFP - Miscarriage at 8w, 9/08 - BFP - Miscarriage at 8w2d, 12/08 - Found out I am a carrier of a Balanced Translocation between Chromosomes 8 & 16, 8/2010 - DE IVF = FAIL. 12/18/10 - Surprise BFP! Awaiting our Sticky Miracle! 12/20 - Beta #1-1208 * 12/27 Beta #2 - 6002 1/3/11 Beta #3 - 17,146. Beautiful little heart beating away! Stick little one, stick!
♥ Brielle Skye born August 17th, 2011 ♥
Diagnosed PCOS & MFI-Success with IUI
that is so heart-breaking.
you did an amazing job handling it cutie.
Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)
It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
wow! that is just something that should not be discussed with a 14 yr old child.
I think you handled yourself very well and said the right things to the student.
good job Gen!
Unexplained Infertility
After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!
TTC #2
After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!