Success after IF

Another shower question - etiquette and such...

Ok, so both my mom and my MIL are coming in from out of state for the shower. And they are both staying with me. My Step MIL I didn't send an invitation to - she lives out of state as well and it would be horribly uncomfortable for her to be there with MIL. Sooo - at this point she just hasn't gotten an invitation... Do I send one anyway? do I send one and let her know that MIL and mom are coming and staying with me? Do I just not send it and pretend like nothing's going on? What would you do??

Re: Another shower question - etiquette and such...

  • Well since it involves In-laws have your hubby decide.  I had to have seperate Showers for my Mom and Step Mom.  But since it is his family leave it up to him.

    Good luck!

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  • I had my mom send one to my step mom even though I knew she would not come.  If she did, it would be SO awkward!  She knows that too and that is why there is no way she would have come.
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    After 21 cycles, and severe MFI, we finally did it with IVF #1 w/ICSI! Nico arrived 12/3/08!!!
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  • I would invite her, but I wouldn't extend a stay at your house.
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Definetly invite her.. she would be more hurt by not being invited, than by not being able to stay at your house. 
  • I am a step-mom and I have a step-mom.  I know this stuff gets tricky even under the best of circumstances.

    Invite her.  She knows you'll be having a shower.  She probably does not plan to attend.

    If you're concerned that she will want to attend simply ask that her invitation be sent late.  That would make it more unlikely that she'll attend.

    If she does attend - it's her job to figure out where to stay and it's not your responsibility to host her when hosting the other mothers.

    GL!
    Shell
    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
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