Just did PU/PD for 2 f*cking hours

E_sharp · April 2010

I am thisclose to just letting him CIO. I really don't want to, I really really don't, but I am starting to think that I am doing him a disservice by always rocking him to sleep.

I thought things were getting better on their own, as he got older, but its starting to fall apart again.

I basically would rock him to almost asleep, then put him down. He would cry, then sit around, then howl, then I would go in, pick him up, rock him to almost asleep, and repeat FOR 2 HOURS.

I almost said f*ck it, and just rocked him to unconsciousness, but then I figured that would make the last 2 hours worthless.

I am trying to teach him to fall asleep on his own, but at the same time, show him that I am there for him. I don't know WTF I am doing.

Anyway, the last time, I rocked him to almost unconscious, and put him in his crib, he gave me two big whines, rolled over onto his side, and passed out.

Should I bother trying to do this again? Is this even meaner than CIO?

help.

me.

Lotte134 · April 2010

I guess it all depends. I don't think what you're doing is cruel, but it may not be necessary. If you're not unhappy rocking him to sleep then I see no problem with continuing and I really think he'll start falling asleep on his own when he's ready. If rocking him to sleep is a problem (he's too heavy, it takes forever, etc... - all totally legit) then keep going and know it will get better though it may take some time.

E_sharp · April 2010

I was OK with rocking him to sleep for a long time, but I am starting to resent the hell out of it. I feel like that's all I do, and every time I sit down with him in the chair, it feels like I just finished doing it for the last nap/bedtime.

I am going back to work in 3 weeks, and he needs to be able to put himself back to sleep, because I cannot get up and take 2 hours to put him back to sleep anymore.

I just wish this were easier.

MrsAmers · April 2010

My daughter was a horrible, awful sleeper. And one day she was just able to fall asleep without haven't to be rocked into unconsciousness. Literally one week I tried to leave while she was drowsy but awake and she screamed. And the next week she fussed for less than a minute, and was quiet. I honestly think that kids can fall asleep on their own when their ready and rocking them to sleep is not doing them a disservice.

I'm convinced that DS will do the same someday, too. I nurse/rock him to unconsciousness for now. Once each weekend I put him down drowsy to see what happens. And if he's acting too awake while I'm nursing or rocking him, I put him in his crib for a while and sit in the chair nearby. One of these days he's bound to fall asleep on is own.

That said, if you are miserable rocking him to sleep, then you have to find something different. But if the only thing worrying you is that you think you're doing him a disservice, I wouldn't get upset about the rocking. I think babies are just capable of falling asleep on their own at different ages. For some it is 3 months and for others it is 24 months, and most kids will fall somewhere in between.

webMistress0609 · April 2010

E_sharp:
I was OK with rocking him to sleep for a long time, but I am starting to resent the hell out of it. I feel like that's all I do, and every time I sit down with him in the chair, it feels like I just finished doing it for the last nap/bedtime.
I am going back to work in 3 weeks, and he needs to be able to put himself back to sleep, because I cannot get up and take 2 hours to put him back to sleep anymore.
I just wish this were easier.

Is he fighting you when you try & put him down? Or does it just take too long to rock him down?

I'm asking because when we have to spend more than about 10-15 trying to get Ari down, we just stop & try again in 15-30 minutes. Or maybe an hour depending on how tired he seems. We could either let him play or be pissy b/c we're trying to get him to sleep, kwim? One thing we've been dealing with for about a month or 2 is that he's been flipping between 1 & 2 naps a lot. He actually seems to do better on 1. But we just watch him really carefully & play it by ear for getting him to nap now.

E_sharp · April 2010

He fights it, and it takes too long. I know that he is tired, because he's rubbing his eyes, yawning, etc, but yeah, going down to one nap a day is something we are thinking about too. He seems to go down much easier when he is f*cking exhausted, but really, it shouldn't have to be that way.

Even though he sleeps almost 15 hours in a 24 hr period, with naps, and overnight, he still has BAGS under his eyes... what baby has bags under his eyes??

fallbridequeen · April 2010

Maybe he just isn't tired enough when you're trying? I wouldn't try for more than 20 minutes or so before stopping and trying again in another 20-30 minutes. It's worth it to maintain your sanity and not start to resent him. If you can, ask your DH to entertain him while he's awake in between attempts so that you can have some time to yourself to regain your sanity. It will get better, I promise! Sometimes trying "too" hard can make them overtired in the process, which can make them even more resistant to falling asleep. GL!

SymphonyGirl · April 2010

We went through the same thing with DS around that same age. Then we started using No Cry Sleep Solution and that really made a difference. For us, the two big things that helped us turn the corner were to 1) start a bedtime routine so he'd know it was time to go to sleep 2) Stop taking him out of the crib when he cried and stood up. I would still comfort him, but I wouldn't pick him up. I would lay him back down, pat and sing to him until he calmed down. After he got used to that, eventually I could just lay him down drowsy and he'd go to sleep. If I got him out of the crib, it was a 1-2 hour ordeal. It took a couple of weeks for us to really make the change, but it was very worthwhile. If you haven't read NCSS, I definitely recommend it. There are so many different ideas and tips in there, there's bound to be something that seems like it will work for your family.

cindy453 · April 2010

I'm right there with you. No advice... Coffee Beer Cake just coffee, beer, and cake

It sucks.

kat.in.the.hat · April 2010

We were never able to do PU/PD with Marion, it just pissed her off even more. So we had to (for nap times at least) resort to just sitting on the floor next to her, holding her hand and letting her cry. But we never left her side until she was asleep.

Also, at ten months, she went to one nap a day. I was so sad and afraid of doing that, but it's been the best thing to every happen to our family.

lanie30 · April 2010

Pick up put down never worked with us. Also, we found that she was sensitive to being put down asleep. She'd wake suddenly to find herself alone and not being rocked and it scared her. To this day if I fall asleep in her room with her and she wakes alone? GOOD NIGHT. Could he have the same problem?

I would take to putting him down very sleepy but awake, and telling him you're leaving, then leaving for a moment, returning, laying him down again, leaving, returning etc... I don't think you have to let him cry but he may be sensitive to waking up alone after being rocked, as Jo was.

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