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baby shower or no baby shower?

mkwy4peytonmkwy4peyton member
in 3rd Trimester

Ok so my husband seems to think that I dont need a baby shower, that people are going to get us what they want, when they want, whether I have a shower or not. But I dont agree. I really would not mind having that corny little shower with the cute games and all the pink (because im having a girl).  Should I plan my own baby shower or should I just assume that someone else is going to throw me one. I am just so confused now that I have hit 30 weeks everything is happening so fast.

Please help!

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Re: baby shower or no baby shower?

  • penelopepink09penelopepink09 member

    DO NOT PLAN YOUR OWN SHOWER!!

    It is considered EXTREMELY tacky, especially here. I hope you have your big girl panties on.

    Here we go...

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  • heather_09_15_07heather_09_15_07 member
    Do not plan your own baby shower. It is incredibly tacky to throw yourself a party for the purpose of getting gifts.
    2 girls and a dog
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  • canamamacanamama member
    I think at this point it might be kind of weird to throw your own.  Could you ask your mom or mother-in-law to have one?  If not, I would do a meet the baby party afterward yourself.
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  • BFab11BFab11 member
    Don't throw your own; if someone hasn't offered to throw one for you yet, you might be SOL.  Maybe you could plan a little meet and greet after LO gets here, and like DH said, in the absence of a shower people will probably get you gifts at their leisure.
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  • mysticportermysticporter

    There are those who disagree, but it's pretty widely accepted that throwing your own baby shower is tacky/gift grabby.  (A shower is the gift of a celebration that someone decides to do for you, it isn't an inherent right of having a baby).  Just let it ride and see if someone offers.

    FWIW, your husband is absolutely right.  People who want to get you a gift are going to do so if you have a shower or not.  You kind of make it sound like you can obligate them into a gift with the shower, and that's pretty rude (no one is required to get you a gift either way).


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  • bedebum13bedebum13 member
    Don't throw your own shower - it's tacky.  If someone wants to host one they will - otherwise you could host a meet the baby party after the birth with the understanding that it is not a gift-giving event.
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  • abaslittlegirl@yahoo.comabaslittlegirl@yahoo.com

    I would ask your mom or someone your close to if someone was going to throw you a shower.  It's okay to help get the ball rolling, especially if others who would love to help don't have time to get invites out. 

     

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  • DorisLevineDorisLevine
    You definitely don't need to have a shower!  My best friend is just throwing my husband and I a "baby party" -- we didn't register anywhere and it's just going to be a big final party with all of our friends.  Invite your friends/family/co-workers over to meet your baby after you've had her. 
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  • bumpuser1691848bumpuser1691848 member

    Do not plan your own shower. That's tacky. I'd see if someone mentions throwing one for you, but I would think if they were planning on doing one, they would have said something to you by now.

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    DD {6.13.10} & DS {5.19.12}
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  • BabyButler2010BabyButler2010 member
    If your husband is telling you not to worry- I would listen to him.  Maybe there is a surprise shower in the works and he is trying to keep you from ruining the surprise.  In my opinion- I would not plan my own shower because, I think it is something that someone else is supposed to throw for you.  If you do not end up having a shower- have a meet the baby party afterward :)
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  • shanadshanad

    imagebedebum13:
    Don't throw your own shower - it's tacky.  If someone wants to host one they will - otherwise you could host a meet the baby party after the birth with the understanding that it is not a gift-giving event.

     This!  Agree 100%

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  • Kerianne1176Kerianne1176

    I hate the word tacky as it sounds a bit judgmental....so I will use a different word. It is considered bad etiquette to throw yourself a shower so do not do it if you care what your guests will think.  Someone close to you will most likely plan one.  You can subtly let on that that is something you could see liking if someone were to do it....but be SUBTLE.

    its still early yet. For some reason family and friends like to plan these things for late in the pregnancy so just try to be patient. I know it is hard.

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  • MWoodsideMWoodside member

    If someone offers to throw you a shower then have one.  Do not plan your own; that comes off as very gift grabby.

    Honestly if you are 30 weeks & no one has mentioned it I wouldn't count of having one.  Maybe just do a meet the baby party once LO is born.

    Your H is right though, regardless of whether or not you have a shower is someone wants to buy you a gift then they will.

    DD1 born 5/24/10.

    Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.

    DD2 born 5/14/13.

    Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.

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  • Kerianne1176Kerianne1176

    imageBabyButler2010:
    If your husband is telling you not to worry- I would listen to him.  Maybe there is a surprise shower in the works and he is trying to keep you from ruining the surprise.  In my opinion- I would not plan my own shower because, I think it is something that someone else is supposed to throw for you.  If you do not end up having a shower- have a meet the baby party afterward :)

    this is a very good point

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  • berrybuzzberrybuzz member

    i have no family here so i come to terms with no baby shower ( i know if i was back home with family they would have thrown me one in a heart beat)

    we started getting chummy with the neighbours in the last month or so, and she offered to throw me one (even though i dont know half the people comming) but heck if you wanna throw me one then all the power to you, we always need diapers hehe. i think its very sweet and nice of her to take the time to plan a babyshower even though by the time we have it ill be like 3 weeks from my due date but its the thought that counts so im not arguing it.

    but throwing your own babyshower isnt a good idea, some look at it as tacky others as bad etiquette. and like someone already said maybe someone is throwing you a surprise babyshower, or they could be waiting until you have the baby.  

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  • mkwy4peytonmkwy4peyton member

    Thank you everyone for your opinions... i will deffiantely not be planning my own, and i live about 1:30 mins away from my family and i do not know anyone where i live so me having a shower is probably not going to happen.. but we have family that is going to spoil the crap out of my LO.

     

    but thank you all!

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