How do you tell family members that you dont want their help....

lauralie27 · April 2010

My Godmother wants to come and stay with my husband and I for a couple of weeks before LO arrives, to help cook and clean or whatever needed. She has no children of her own and she has always treated me as a daughter and I am so grateful for all that she has done for me.

But, my husband and I are kind of looking forward to the last little bit of alone time before I give birth. I know she just wants to help and I have not really said too much to her because I know it will crush her and she will take it personally. Any advice?

sweetmelodies&harmonies · April 2010

Ask her to come cook/clean AFTER the baby is born! That's when you'll really need it.

biddybaby · April 2010

I would just be honest and let her know that you and your husband want to take this time to spend with each other. It is the last that you will have for a very long time and hopefully she will understand.

jays_bride · April 2010

I just don't get the 'help' thing. My MIL wanted to come up before LO arrives to help clean my cupboards...WTF?! My cupboards are clean, they get cleaned every Spring. I mean, yah I'm tired and it takes me longer to do things, but I still clean and plan to after LO arrives.

Seriously, you need help when your child is 2, refusing naps. throwing toys all over the place and getting in to the laundry you just folded...not when s/he is tiny and just eats, sleeps & poops ~ even if it is on a 2-4 hour rotation!

greggandlinds · April 2010

my husband and i really don't want anyone around either. we're both pretty independent and to us this is a private time between the two of us and the new lo. we explained to family that i will be stressed out and feel like i need to entertain and clean up after us and everyone else if we have people around (they all know i get super anal and neat-freak when it comes to company). they all pretty much got the hint that we'll start with pictures and let them know when we're ready for guests.

Kelly-renee · April 2010

Tell her to come after LO is here. My mom has been up several times lately b/c she keeps on hoping the baby will come while she is here, and I'm at the point where I'm just grumpy and easy to annoy. I doubt you will want anyone around when you're feeling very hormonal about everything. I've warned my mom when I'm feeling extra grumpy and I tend to leave the house with the dog or DH for a while, but I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that to anyone besides her. She understands and would prefer that to me bursting out in some sort of silly rage about nothing.

violetblue72 · April 2010

Have all of these helpful ladies come to my house, I'll take them for as long as they want to stay... heck, they can move in!!! Stick out tongue

canesbaby · April 2010

No advice here- just wanted to say I understand!

We tried telling MIL that we would rather her come after the baby is born and we've had a couple of days to adjust and bond. She refused We told her we would prefer to not have people stay at our house until we've had a chance to adjust, so at least she is staying in a hotel, but she is laying on a major guilt trip about that. She lives in FL and we are in PA, so for now she is hanging out with family in TN until I get close and then she'll head here. I have no idea how she will know when the baby is coming... she wants me to tell her when I feel nesting start Tongue Tied um... a couple of weeks ago? It's frustrating.

Good luck!!!

lauralie27 · April 2010

Thanks ladies! I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way. I kind of want it to be "our" alone time because I know it will be a while...plus I am terribly cranky and I would feel like I have to entertain her! Hopefully a chat with her will make her see my side!

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