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TTC after 35
new here, 5th cycle TTC
Hi ladies! I am on CD24, I O'd on March 25, and I am pretty sure nothing stuck this month based on how I feel (mooooody) and three BFN's. DH wants us to take a break from TTC. But I will be 36 in four months, he is already 36, and I don't think time is on our side to take a break.
I am seeking any and all advice on TTC and keeping your relationship strong. It's becoming a source of frustration and arguments, and that is so not like us as a couple.
Also, we're using OPK and preseed. I think I should also start charting (how do I get started? get the right thermometer, go to fertilityfriend, ?). What is this about Mucinex I keep seeing? I am diligently taking my DHA and prenatal vitamins. Need to commit to doing the BD EOD this next cycle, we got a little lazy thinking we had timed it right this time.
Last question- anyone who has pursued infertility treatment- what if anything did your insurance cover? If we have to go get tested I am wondering if they will pay for anything or if we better get our heads around tapping into savings. We have already discussed infertility as a couple, and decided we will only go to whatever lengths are covered by insurance, as we can't afford to do more than that and already have a second mortgage out of our house for a business loan.
Sticky dust to all!
Holly
This discussion has been closed.
Re: new here, 5th cycle TTC
Hi Holly!
Welcome to the board! I am on cycle 3 so am not that much of an expert. I do recommend getting a BBT thermometer which is different from a regular thermometer since it records temps to the tenth or hundredth. You can get it at your local drugstore. I really like charting on fertility friend and appreciate the information on the tutorials. Other ladies will recommend Taking charge of your fertility which I have not tried.
I absolutely understand your frustration as a couple! DH is getting worn out with the non-spontaneous sex when I "think" I am ovulating. Some of the best advice I received which I will be trying this month is to stop talking to him about my temps, my cervical mucus, etc. I think that will make things more "spontaneous" for him and he really does not need to know all the extra info. I hope that helps!
Best of luck to you and lots of sticky dust headed your way!
Hi and welcome. Last question first. I am not currently seeking fertility treatment, but everything I have read on these sites indicates, it is all based on what insurance you have. Most don't cover anything fertility related and a few people have mentioned that they have a lifetime amount of like $5000 so you need to check your policy.
As far as your relationship, I am seeing that your issue is very common. My DH gets discouraged and doesn't want to deal with the "trying" sometimes too (although he wants a baby worse than I do). I think that some couples counseling could help you guys a lot. I think talking about what eachother wants and fears is whats important and a lot of men are more able to open up in therapy where we can't "get mad at them" for how they feel. TTC is very stressful on most relationships when it doesn't happen right away and both of you are wondering whats wrong and the guys take it especially personally and I believe feel imasculated. My DH also doesn't like to have sex only when "its time" because he feels that its too clinical and not very romantic. Anyway, hope that helps.
Maybe you did land one this cycle. Its not over until AF comes so fingers crossed for this cycle and if not, then good luck with the next!
First, hello and welcome to TTC 35+!
TTC can be frustrating, especially when you're not getting the results you want. I would say that if TTC is causing tension in your relationship, then maybe taking a short break wouldn't be a bad thing. It will allow you both to release some of the stress of TTC, restore some sanity and let you regroup and plan your next move. DH and I have taken several small breaks to regroup and we've come back even more determined. (We've been TTC for 2+ years)
Yes, you may want to start charting (fertilityfriend).....a lot of women swear by it. It didn't really work for me because I have major ovulation issues. You may also want to think about investing in a CBEFM and reading TCOYF......again, many women recommend these. You can find the thermometer at most drugstores.......try looking by the OPKs and HPTs.
As far as seeking infertility testing and treatments, you will need to call your insurance. Some states mandate coverage for IF treatments (mine does), but there are loopholes (like I can have unlimited IUIs, but they will not cover IVF at all). Also, your insurance may cover some parts, including some Rx, but not all. Definitely call your insurance and ask specifically what they cover. You may want to visit with your regular OBGYN first and see what they can do, if anything, but many Dr's recommend having IF testing if you're 35+ and have been trying 6+ months (this includes getting your DH tested). If nothing else, your OBGYN may be able to recommend a good RE.
Hope that helps and best of luck TTC!
Hi there! I am new to this board myself!
TTC can be such a trying time on relationships. DH and I are working through this ourselves since we also experienced a loss. I have found us arguing more and I agree with you, it is not our typical behavior. We find that the best way to handle the situation is to openly talk about our feelings no matter what they are. We just do our best to work through them. We are also taking the time to do special/romantic things together to take the focus of ttc.
You are off on the right track with everything you are doing. I would suggest charting as that is really the only way you can confirm your ovulations. I use fertilityfriend.com and it is great. I don't think it is necessary to pay for the VIP feature. It will also allow you to see cycle patterns. I going to an RE on Thursday and plan on bringing all of my charts, so this I assume will be helpful to him as well. I tried Mucinex, and it did make an abundance of CM. I also drink pure Pom juice and raspberry leaf tea up to O. These are claimed to help thicken your lining.
So, that brings us to your last question. We are on our way to infertility help on Thursday. DH and I have been ttc for over two years now. We had a bfp last October and lost our baby the end of November. With our history of difficulties ttc and our ages (me 38, dh 42) our OB has suggested this route for us. Our insurance covers 50% of testing and appointments, but no coverage for IUI or IVF. At this time we do not know how far we are willing to go. I am already overwhelmed with the costs that may be in our future.
Good luck in your ttc adventure. I hope that you get a BFP soon!
ETA: I also go to weekly acupuncture treatments.