Baby Showers
mrs.mastro
member
no shower on DHs side - weird?
mrs.mastro
member
in Baby Showers
My SIL was going to throw me a shower for their side of the family, but then my MIL's friend said she wanted to, so she took over the job. She was planning to throw it in March, but then at the last minute said it was impossible for her to throw it until mid-May. Well, they are in another state, so it's impossible for me to go there for a shower at 38 weeks.
I don't know if everyone else still thinks she's doing it or if no one else wanted to take over, but I think it's a little late for me to be expecting anything from them. I am not upset about it per se, but it makes me feel like the last kid picked on a team. Do I need to get over it or I'm I right to feel snubbed?
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Re: no shower on DHs side - weird?
after anovulatory diagnosis and TTC for 1 1/2yrs with several medicated cycles and one chemical pregnancy, we have our first bundle of joy!
IT'S A GIRL!
#2 EDD 2/5/13 dx with anti-BIG E antibody, seeing a MFM
I don't take one single minute for granted.
Agreed. It's understandable to be a little bummed since you were told they were doing one, but unfortunately it is what it is. Honestly, the people who would have gotten you a gift almost assuredly will anyway, although personal experience was that more of those gifts arrived after the baby was born.
yeah, feeling bad about it is understandable, but i'd get over it as quickly as possible. those who care will still send something if they can. are any of them going to come to any other shower you are having?
(I always figured I'd just have one shower. But DH has a small family, so that's basically like, maybe 6 extra people, tops.)
I had nearly the exact same thing happen to me.
My MIL mentioned to my mother that she wanted to plan something for me - but shes also a bit crazy and was unsure about if she would do a regular shower or an absentee shower. Never the less she knew that we would be visiting in March and that I would not be traveling again until post baby - not only am I high risk, but they live 14 hours away and DH travels non stop - so literally if there was going to be a shower (that I actually attended) it would have to be during the 10 days that we were in the state. So she never mentioned anything else until a few days before our trip when she tells me "Oh yeah DH's Aunt and cousin were going to throw you a shower, but since you won't be here on Saturday I told them not to worry about it." Needless to say I was hurt - since everyone on that side of the family knew that I would not be traveling you would think that they would just call me to either find out our plans for visiting or say something about trying to plan something.
Then of course there was more drama post that incident since crazy MIL claimed she might still do a long distance thing and my hostesses didn't want to be double invite any of the same people to my local shower. Her first response was "Okay I will start getting addresses together for you." - which made no sense since they just wanted to know if she was still planning something. Finally she responded with a "not that I'm aware of."
Something similar happened with my bridal showers so I should have expected this, but it still hurts. Either way I think you should be able to feel a little sad about it, but of course you should put it aside eventually. I just like to think about how disfunctional DH's family is overall.
Agreed. Your feelings of being slighted/snubbed are valid, but do your best to try not to think about it too much.
My SIL did same to me. My sister was organizing my shower and assumed since DH's family is like an hour away she would offer to include them (about 15 ladies in total) at the shower my family was hosting. The SIL told my sister not to worry about anyone from their side as she would be throwing something for that family.
Nothing ever materialized from it. Not a word was mentioned and nor did anyone inquire to my sister about helping or attending. SIL and one cousin attended my shower and no others from DH's family ever sent us gifts for the baby, not even after announcements went out. SIL and cousin pitched in on a gift but that was it.
I do my best to not hold a resentment, but it is hard. We put a lot of thought and effort into gifts for her children. SIL's family attended our wedding, but didn't even give us a wedding card let alone gift! She was the only one to completely snub us like that. Not even a congrats you got married card! I would get it if they were going thru financial hardship, but they aren't. And the funniest part is, she went out of her way to purchase all of these photographs of her family at the wedding, and sent them out as her Christmas cards this year!