Baby Showers
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"Sip and See" Shower
Okay, so my sister in law really does not want to open gifts in front of people - the thought of it really stresses her out - so we were trying to come up with a way to get around this. One idea was to do a sip and see shower - people would bring thier gifts unwrapped or diplayed in a unique way (basket, clothes line, etc.) and we would have a cocktail type atmosphere - just mingling, apps, and of course virgin cocktails.
My questions:
What would you think if you were invited to a shower like this?
How would you word something like this on the invitation?
Any ideas on favors or decor?
Part of me really wants to tell her to suck it up - but I can understand where she is coming from too (sort of).
Thank you!!
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Re: "Sip and See" Shower
Sip and See is for when the baby is born (come over and sip drinks and see the baby).
You are proposing an open house style shower. It's fine. Don't ask the folks to bring their gifts unwrapped. they can bring gifts and put on the table and your SIL would open later - no big deal.
Barbie, that is not a bad idea - how well was something like that recieved?? My thought is that the whole not opening gifts at the shower is kinda tacky - and really not any different than the absentee shower posted below!!!
If you also think this is tacky please let me know - like I said, part of me wants to tell her to suck it up!! What would you think if you went to a shower where the person either didn't open the gift you brought, or if someone else opened it for you???
I agree with K.a.T.e. (All points...typically "Sip and See" is used to describe a meet-the-baby party, and it's not very appropriate to tell guests how to wrap/package their gifts). Open house showers usually have "show up any time between" on the invite (rather than fixed hours), but you could do something casual/without traditional shower hoopla and still not have a drop-in.
People do tend to like to see their own gift opened, honestly. Personally I don't really care, but perhaps instead of having everyone sit around and stare at your SIL while she opens gifts, she could open each gift as the person arrives or shortly thereafter. If it's casual and people are just coming in, milling and eating/drinking, I don't think that would be too odd.
Someone else opening it? I would honestly be pissed off about this. Talk about making it feel like a gift grab!!! "Not only do I not want to take the time to open your gift here, in front of you, I dont' even want to be bothered to do it at all".
Sorry- I jsut think that is VERY tacky.
Ultimately - my feel on people who don't want to open gifts in front of others? They shouldn't have a shower, then. that's the whole point of a shower- to get gifts and to open them and show your appreciation.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
East Coast Bride, I totally agree!
WTF - people are taking the time to purchase a gift for you, giving up their time to celebrate an event soley about you and your choice to have a child, and you have issues with opening up their gifts, yet still want the gift? Explain where this is even remotely gracious to me, please?
DON'T HAVE A SHOWER THEN.
I got a really great stress-buster. No shower for her if she can't handle it.
I can understand your Sister in Law's fears. I feel a bit awkward opening gifts in front of others. BUT I'm going to just suck it up and deal with it. I know that people have made such an effort to pick out a great gift, or driving far away to get a registry item from my list and they want to see the joy and excitement in my face when I open it.
Wise Man Say...."When my guests have done something generous and nice for me, it's not the time to be selfish and only think about myself and my own insecurities."
I understand the whole on display thing with opening gifts in front of everyone, and truth be told it gets tiring and a bit boring, but as a gift giver you want to see the reaction of mom-to-be. I was exhausted about midway through opening mine at the shower my mom threw me (over 50 guests) but I sucked it up and finished. It was much easier at the shower my StepMIL threw since I had DH to help me.
Perhaps like what PP said about opening them upon arrival and then having them out on a display table for people to look at at their leisure, but they MUST be opened by Mom-to-be.
At the showers I have been to - both bridal and baby - where the gifts were displayed it was pretty well received. I find that at larger showers it can be incredibly boring to guests when they are supposed to sit around and watch the guest of honor open tons of gifts. I also think it is nice for the mom to be or the bride to be because they can take more time to socialize with guests. Since all of the gifts are displayed on the tables people are still able to see how excited the person is when they look at their gift. As a note most of these showers are "open" showers so its not a set time which imo is also nice because guests can come and go as they please.
If the shower you are throwing is going to have less than 20 people then imo I would just have her suck it up and open gifts, but if it is a larger shower you may want to consider something like this. Personally, I think its much tackier for a mother to host a shower vs. having gifts displayed on a table, but thats just my opinion.
Yup, tacky. Beyond that, should you have the shower and she opens gifts, you could be very expedited about this. For example, have one person to deal with the garbage, have another person handing her the gifts, and yet another person writing down the gift. Many times it is one person who is doing all three things and it is what takes the longest.
I'm not about games at a shower. However, if she has a lot of anxiety about opening gifts in front of people perhaps you could play something like gift bingo to take some attention off of her? That way people are paying attention to the gift and not her as much??
GL in talking to her.
What I don't get is how you can be particular about a gesture someone is doing for you (having a party, buying you presents)? If I knew someone was having such an issue in the "gesture" and "chore" of opening up my present in front of them, I'd save myself a whole lot of time and aggravation by mailing them a gift card. Go drive yourself to the store and buy exactly what you want.
I did not want to open gifts at my shower either, people brought the gifts wrapped and we had a nice gift table set up - I opened them once I got home and changed into my PJ's. Guests were almost relieved that they did not haev to sit through opening all those gifts.
How about making a game out of it? Let people know to bring gifts unwrapped to be displayed on a table but to include a small card in an envelope with their name and people have to guess who brought what. Then at the end of the night have your sister open the envelopes only and who ever guesses the most right wins a prize.
Attention will still be on your sister, but it won't be as long as unwrapping, looking at what she got, showing it to every one, everyone oohs and ahhs at it, then she passes it to you to record who got it for her.
I am sorry, but I would have been deeply disappointed that you did not open the gift that I had put time and effort into selecting, purchasing and wrapping for you in front of me. That is part of going to a shower and watching the opening of the presents. If that is all you are going to do, why even have a shower.
I can't imagine how many people were "almost relieved". Anyone else?
I hate sitting there while mom-to-be opens gifts but when I see them grab my gift I get excited. I enjoy seeing the reaction to the gift I got them, but I could care less about the rest haha.
Which is exactly the reason that it should be done. Everyone wants to see you open up the gift you got them. If you can't or won't do this, why even accept their gift?
I highly doubt that. If they said anything like that to you they were just being polite.
That's me! I'd be one of those relieved guests. In my circle, people buy gift from the registry. So, it's not like the mom-to-be's reaction would be special when she opens her gifts - she picked them out herself weeks ago.
My favorite thing about showers is spending time with the guest of honor and other friends and family.
HTH! GL!
I really like this idea. This is way more laid back than the typical open presents while having people stare at you shower.