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Buying Stuff?
When did you start buying stuff? Our facilitator recommends having the essentials in a baby bag and a car seat - that's it. DH, on the other hand, wants to at least get some furniture in case we got a call after the birth. It's obviously a personal decision. We're not doing anything until our profile is finished and can be shown, but I'm curious what you ladies did and why?
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Re: Buying Stuff?
Most people will tell you to start buying stuff when you are active. However, if you are in the HS phase and see something great, you should get it. We were matched quickly, and the baby was due only six weeks from the time of match. Luckily, we had most everything we needed b/c of DS. However, I would have been pretty stressed if I didn't have a car seat, some onesies, some bottles, a place for baby to sleep, etc.
Even if you don't want to start buying now, you should start researching what you want to buy now. Colorxgirl has a great checklist in her blog
In order to complete our homestudy, we had to have a place for baby to sleep -- whether it was a PnP, bassinet, or crib -- our social worker had to see that we had a place to bring baby home to. That, a carseat,and some bottles were her suggestions.
She suggested it from the beginning as in our situation it was possible to be matched and/or get a placement before our homestudy was done -- and it was a requirement before she would finish writing the homestudy. Part of our homestudy specifically talks about preparations for baby and that baby had a place to sleep, a safe carseat that we knew how to install, and bottles so baby could eat.
We had nothing. We were willing to accept a child from newborn - 5 years so that was part of the reason. It could have been any gender. But also, in case we had a failed placement, I think having all the stuff around would make me feel worse. We had my mom on call if we got a placement and she would go run out and get all essentials. We had $1000 saved for a placement.
I got the call about 2 PM on a weekday and was told we had until 3 PM to get the hospital (big shocker!). I called my mom on the way, she left work and went straight to babies R us. We picked up our baby and was home by 5 PM and my mom was there to meet us with all our new things. There really wasn't all that much to buy for the first month. She got a bassinet, some clothing, diapers, themometer, bath wash, bottles, and a few other things. The hospital was extremely generous in providing us with a carseat (which we replaced the next week) and a diaper bag with tons of formula (enough for a week or two) and extras since they knew our situation. Within the first month of our placement, the generousity of other's started flowing in...we had people from work, church and family bringing tons of great hand me downs like a baby swing, bouncer, pack n play, more clothing, etc. In the end, we only spent about $300 on baby stuff.
I am very happy we did everything that way and did not make purchases in advance.
Oh that was an amazing day and I tear up each time I think about it.
ETA: Our agency told us we had to have everything for our homestudy but when it came down to it, the SW assigned to us did not care at all and understood if we wanted to wait to buy things.
Just shop as it feels comfortable. If you see something on sale, buy it! It helped me stay excited and feel like a real mom to be. We did the nursery toward the end of the home study, and finished shopping while we were waiting. After the baby arrived, we had a few baby showers.
If I had to do it over again, I would not buy items specific to a certain baby. Next time around, if we know the sex after we're matched, I really don't think I'll shop for clothes until the baby is home.
I was holding off until someone asked about it here, and people with quick placements suggested starting to buy stuff during the homestudy phase. DH and I decided to get the big 4 (crib, carseat, stroller, Pack n Play) during the homestudy, and build up the rest of our stuff throughout the process.
We still didn't have a crib mattress when we got The Call.
Based on your facilitator and how open you have said you are with your tolerances, I would be ready with the big stuff. We started our nursery in November (before we even signed with a facilitator) and H was born in April. We did it gradually and found good deals on things. I'm glad we did it that way because the nursery was fairly complete when he made his grand entrance.
That being said, we are very behind on Baby #2's nursery. She's due in a little over two months and we've barely started. We will probably wait another month since she will be taking the guest room and we have tons of folks coming to town for H's birthday.
I didn't want to see any baby stuff in the house. We were just coming out of fertility treatments and I had had 2 miscarriages in the last 4 months. We didn't have anything but a few onsies that we bought for our failed adoption. We got the call the day after Ben was born and had to drive 12 hours to TX and stay out there for almost 2 weeks. We went by Wal-Mart on the way out and got a car seat, pacis, diapers, wash cloths, socks, onesies, changing pads, baby wash, lotion, diaper cream, bottle warmer, burp cloths, fingernail clippers, thermometer, and wipes.
When we got home, we got a pack and play and registered at BRU for stuff and bought a ton more things. Our nursery wasn't ready for 6 weeks, but that was ok, because he stayed in our room anyway.
It's a personal decision. Some people want to be completely ready and others are not comfortable with it. It's your choice, but just so you know, if you get the call and have nothing, it's ok.
We started buying stuff several weeks ago, and we haven't even completed our home study. I just enjoy researching and shopping for baby stuff, so I couldn't help myself. I excuse it by telling myself that I'll only buy things if I see a really great deal. So far we have a travel system that I bought at 50% off and baby bedding that I got for a steal on Craigslist. We have a crib, but it's in a box in the garage and still needs to be assembled. We also painted the nursery.
We're slowly putting together the entire nursery. Of course there is no rush, but even if it takes a year or more to adopt, it will happen eventually. I have fun thinking about it and buying stuff, so I figure there is no harm in buying stuff so early. Some people think they will feel sad if they have baby things around or a nursery put together but no child yet, but for me all of the things are a reminder that this IS real and that it really is going to eventually happen.
Our nursery is pretty much done with the exception of some accessories. If we got an instant placement we would be set and that was our goal. We were totally comfortable moving forward and it makes me happy to see it done.
As you probably read, everyone's comforts levels are different, you have to do what is best for you!