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Right of First Refusal

FthtrstnpxiedstFthtrstnpxiedst
in Blended Families
Does anyone have any experience with this?  BM has started going to night school and DH asked her on Sunday if we could take both boys on the Wednesday we don't normally have them (We have EOW and EO Wednesday dinner) to which she said yes since she isn't home anyway and they won't have to stay with a sitter.  Well now some unnecessary drama has gone on this morning and she is now saying that we can't have them on the other Wednesday evening and they will go with a sitter as planned to get back at DH. 
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Re: Right of First Refusal

  • GSDloverGSDlover
    Is ROFR in your dh's court order? If not, it doesn't apply. If it is in there, it usually specifies how many hours, etc the CP or NCP has to be gone before it comes into play. 
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  • Zoink2008Zoink2008
    Honestly, the reason we don't have it in there is situations like this. It's easier just to keep her time "her time" and your time "your time."

    You get to decided when and if you use a sitter or her and vice versa. Otherwise, it's a power struggle. Then it's if one or the other left the kids with a sitter longer than the 2, 4, or 6 hours as specified in the orders.

    GRAY HAIRS! Not necessary to endure this. Life is too short.
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  • FthtrstnpxiedstFthtrstnpxiedst
    I told DH just to let it go.  There is nothing he can do if she wants to be childish and take her anger out on him.  The only people it hurts for her changing her mind is the kids.  They knew they were going to start coming every Wednesday now she has to explain to them why they can't anymore. 
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  • Zoink2008Zoink2008
    My DH's ex has done this so many times to us. Now that we use sitters b/c of DS, she flips out and has told the kids that no one else is allowed to watch them during our time.

    It's ridiculous. Isolate yourselves from the drama. Have a cocktail and put your feet up!
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  • anniya77anniya77
    Personally, I think we would push for right of first refusal rule... actually, we have.

    To take it away is vindictive and petty, and it sounds like you need to show that you will use it so that she doesn't pull this crap on the bigger things.


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  • RenandStimpyRenandStimpy member
    For once I agree with anniya, you need to make sure that everyone sticks to THE CO AS WRITTEN. TO A T.

    I have let some things slide here and there and I regret it. I found found out that yes it can be a petty thing, yes its an inconvenience and it feels like your wasting your time. BUT, if you dont fight for your kids...who looks bad???

    Just take it in small doses, focus on what YOU can change about this.
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