Blended Families
Options
Need advise on situation with ex
I am more of a lurker then poster but this morning I really do not know who to turn to. Background - have two sons (16 and 14) and a SD (16). For once, it is not the SD that is the issue or her mother.
My ex lives in Las Vegas and sees the kids once a day Mon-Wed for an hour when he picks them up from school and takes the oldest to swim practice. Otherwise he is pretty nonexistent including in monetary matters. It is that wonderful time of year for open enrollment for the insurance plans. In our child custody agreements, ex is suppose to cover the kids. Being the nice ex I am (not to nice any more though) DH and I added the kids to our plan and only assessed my ex a charge of $50 a month for insurance. Well, ex is not contributing to deductibles, copays, balances, etc on any bills for medical or dental.
Dilemma, do I continue being nice and saying $50 only or do I make him start paying 50% of deductibles and balances, etc.? In this economy, everyone is trying to save a penny and as of right now, we had some fillings redone in my oldests mouth and I am left holding a bill for $150 that ex's insurance did not cover. Now I know I am being petty, but hello!!!
Each month ex pays $300 total in support for two teenage boys plus $50 in insurance. Should I be a bi&^% and go after more in insurance or let it be?
Thanks for listening and I am so damn confused right now. I really do not want the extra stress but we are also trying to save for college that my ex will not be contributing to.
My ex lives in Las Vegas and sees the kids once a day Mon-Wed for an hour when he picks them up from school and takes the oldest to swim practice. Otherwise he is pretty nonexistent including in monetary matters. It is that wonderful time of year for open enrollment for the insurance plans. In our child custody agreements, ex is suppose to cover the kids. Being the nice ex I am (not to nice any more though) DH and I added the kids to our plan and only assessed my ex a charge of $50 a month for insurance. Well, ex is not contributing to deductibles, copays, balances, etc on any bills for medical or dental.
Dilemma, do I continue being nice and saying $50 only or do I make him start paying 50% of deductibles and balances, etc.? In this economy, everyone is trying to save a penny and as of right now, we had some fillings redone in my oldests mouth and I am left holding a bill for $150 that ex's insurance did not cover. Now I know I am being petty, but hello!!!
Each month ex pays $300 total in support for two teenage boys plus $50 in insurance. Should I be a bi&^% and go after more in insurance or let it be?
Thanks for listening and I am so damn confused right now. I really do not want the extra stress but we are also trying to save for college that my ex will not be contributing to.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Need advise on situation with ex
I am a big fan of following CO to a T. That way, if there is a violation that you don't like, you have an easier chance with a judge.
Right now, a judge is going to look at this case and could very say "your choice for not enforcing the CO, you get to live with it".
But since you chose not to hold him responsible for the most important part (ie the insurance), you really have no say in him paying for the sundries.
Now, I am NOT saying that he should not be held responsible. But when you let him off the hook for the larger part, you set a precedent.
And a judge could rule in his favor because of that.
So - tell the BD that he is must put his children on his insurance, per the CO. And that all the out-of-pocket expenses/bills will be sent directly to him for either payment or reimbursement.
Unless your H is working at McDonalds, I don't think you are out of place going back to court and updating the support arrangements.
It sounds like this agreement was hashed out when your children were small, correct?
Basically, I would suggest you speak to a lawyer. Child support should be adjusted to meet your sons' current needs, he needs to either cover the boys himself or pay you the premiums and he should be paying for half the out of pocket expenses.
When you get that agreement, you need to enforce it.
Click me, click me!