Blended Families
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I should've known, DH's new job.
So DH is working for the Veteran's Clinic near Fort Drum (huge base for all the non-military folks). He's counseling lots of active duty members recently home from deployment and sometimes even goes on base. He's even had some "emergencies" already in his 3 weeks there (doesn't mean he goes alone, I should say the office has had some emergencies). He also has a widow's group, and that just breaks my heart that there are that many widows up there already.
Anyway, DH started talking last week about "how tired and worn out" all the guys are. Which I completely agree with. But now his military guilt comes out. He was in for 5 years, and then in the guard for another 3. He was deployed to Saudi Arabia before 9/11, and then Afghanistan for 6 months in 2002 (when SD was born). He now feels that he did not do enough. So he wants to join the Army guard (he was airforce) so he can be comissioned in the mental health field.
We've talked about this, and I am not for it. First off, it will ruin his chances of ever having custody of SD because the reason he didn't get her in the first place was because he could be deployed and she'd have to return to her mother then. And the AF didn't deploy nearly as much as the army, or even army guard. He'll go for 1 year tours. Plus he'll have to do I think 3 months trainign in Texas. And he wants to join now, so yay, alone with baby for me in my new house farther away from family and friends.
We finally reached a compromise after me telling him over and over how he's just wasting his time trying to get SD, etc. since I wouldn't be allowed to keep her for a 12-14 month deployment and he's just deserting all his children. He said if he wins custody he won't join, but if he loses (which face it, most likely we'll lose) he'll join. That buys me a year maybe.
Oh, and as an addendum, he doesn't get paid for guard duty. Since he is a disabled veteran, and receives more a month than the standard weekend pay is, he serves for free. He would be paid for a deployment, but not his weekends. I hated working around those weekends for 3 years, they always fell at horrible times where big events were going on for the family or whatever.
Anyway, DH started talking last week about "how tired and worn out" all the guys are. Which I completely agree with. But now his military guilt comes out. He was in for 5 years, and then in the guard for another 3. He was deployed to Saudi Arabia before 9/11, and then Afghanistan for 6 months in 2002 (when SD was born). He now feels that he did not do enough. So he wants to join the Army guard (he was airforce) so he can be comissioned in the mental health field.
We've talked about this, and I am not for it. First off, it will ruin his chances of ever having custody of SD because the reason he didn't get her in the first place was because he could be deployed and she'd have to return to her mother then. And the AF didn't deploy nearly as much as the army, or even army guard. He'll go for 1 year tours. Plus he'll have to do I think 3 months trainign in Texas. And he wants to join now, so yay, alone with baby for me in my new house farther away from family and friends.
We finally reached a compromise after me telling him over and over how he's just wasting his time trying to get SD, etc. since I wouldn't be allowed to keep her for a 12-14 month deployment and he's just deserting all his children. He said if he wins custody he won't join, but if he loses (which face it, most likely we'll lose) he'll join. That buys me a year maybe.
Oh, and as an addendum, he doesn't get paid for guard duty. Since he is a disabled veteran, and receives more a month than the standard weekend pay is, he serves for free. He would be paid for a deployment, but not his weekends. I hated working around those weekends for 3 years, they always fell at horrible times where big events were going on for the family or whatever.
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Re: I should've known, DH's new job.