Blended Families

remarks about DS

SD9 tells her Mom pretty much everything that goes on in our house. We're starting to accumulate remarks about how we care for DS. Things that have been remarked on recently with disapproval:

1) Use of a pacifier (we use one). She disapproves
2) We thought he may be teething but BM said he isn't (not that we asked) b/c he's not old enough and I'm experienced with signs of teething.
3) Placing him in an exersaucer. BM told SD9 that we shouldn't until he can sit up (but the instructions said 4mos and the pedi told us to start).

So I should just ignore or WWYD?

Re: remarks about DS

  • is this a pissing contest you really feel like getting in?  What gets satisfied by giving into this woman?  Raise your child how you wish and to hell with the BM.
    Seriously, people. If your faith in humanity is destroyed because your parents told you there was a Santa Claus and as it turns out there is no Santa Claus, you are an ignorant, hypersensitive cry baby with absolutely zero perspective. - UnderwaterRhymes
  • Just ignore it.  Is it BM telling you these things are SD saying "mommy says you should..."  If it's SD reporting back to you I'd just tell her that the doctor said what you're doing is perfect for DS and he is doing really well.
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  • IGNORE. How are you even hearing her opinions?  Is she telling you, your DH or your SD?  If it's directly from her, smile and politey say, "Huh. Really?" (act all incredibly fascinated by what she's saying) "Well. I'll have to just take that under consideration."  And then ignore it, through any feelings about her comments aside, and go about doing whatever you want to do.
  • Ignore her.

    However, when SD relays these remarks, gently say "Oh, I am sure your mommy is just a bit worried.  But she doesn't have to be.  We discussed these things with DS' doctor and if HE approves then I think we are ok."

    This is the same response I have already used on my OWN family when they question me about the things I do in my pregnancy (hair coloring and drinking an occasional glass of wine).

    And ONLY discuss it ONCE with her.  After that, just say "SD, we have already gone over this with you."  Then either change the subject or walk away.
    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
  • Ignore her and tell SD that babies don't come with an instruction manual. There are many ways to take care of a baby and a mommy gets to decide for herself what that is.

    That way it's not a matter of mommy being wrong or whatever.



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  • to make you feel better, not that you need justification:

    1.  Pacii can be taken away, my DS' thumb might eventually jus be bitten off, lol...he bites so hard there is a huge hole in it!
    2.  I know a baby born with 2 teeth...happens to something like 1 in 1000.  I also met a 10mo that got first teeth at 8 weeks and had all but 2yo molars at  10mos.
    3.  I was against excersaucers but put DS in it just before turning 4mos...he could stand without pulling up on things by 10mos, first steps at 11mos and fully walking at 12mos...honestly he is one of the steadiest kids I have seen once he started walking.

    But, I would ignore it...or change the subject if she starts again.  Not worth the argument.  Of if need be, nicely correct her and just say the pedi agrees...even if you never talked to them.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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