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He won't breastfeed

smahersmaher
in D.C. Area Babies

As if going dairy and soy free wasn't hard enough...

We've seen lactation consultants to work on his latch problems after being solely on bottle for 2 weeks, but he won't feed more than a few minutes and then pulls away screaming.  I feel like I've tried everything and he still isn't gaining weight as he should.  It looks like I now will be exclusively pumping and supplementing with formula.  Very sad about this.  

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Re: He won't breastfeed

  • doggylovrdoggylovr
    I'm sorry, you sure are working very hard at this.  Just think every bit of BM you give him is better than none at all and it doesn't matter how it gets there! I have to EP bc DS would never latch even after seeing 3 LC's.  DS is thriving on a combo of BM and formula....good job mamma!!
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  • MrsTiaraMrsTiara
    I'm so sorry, we had similar problems and it just devastated me.
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  • LindseyJWLindseyJW member

    i'm really sorry. i have known several women who had difficulty, real, true difficulty. and, like you, have tried so many things and worked with professionals. it's extremely hard to go back to the nipple after a baby has had a bottle at your son's age. if you are satisfied that you've done everything you can, that's all you can ask of yourself. give yourself time to be sad about it. it's only natural.

    i went through a similar mourning period and experienced significant grief after my c/s and everyone said "at least he's healthy, blahblahblah." i know they all meant well, but it effectively discounted how i felt, which was utterly sad.

    i can tell that it matters to YOU how the BM gets there, and that's what is important here. he's getting the BM, that's not the issue. the issue is you feel sad about how he's getting it, and that's ok. it's normal to experience sadness over this. i found it really helped to talk about it. the more i talked about it, the less i felt alone...the less i felt that i was crazy for feeling this way.

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  • doggylovrdoggylovr
    ditto LindseyLW, talking about it to others in similar situations definitely helped me realize I am not alone! **HUGS**
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  • bh2720bh2720
    I'm so sorry this is happening. I had problems with bfing, too and I remember feeling like a total failure-I was way too hard on myself. The fact is that bfing is only one small part of being a mom. You're a great mom and whether you give your son breast milk in a bottle or formula he'll be fine.
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  • mlvmdmlvmd
    I had problems too, went to many different LCs and even they were stumped.  It took me a while to get over it and it didn't help that my pediatrician kept saying, "gosh you should just keep trying, it will be so much easier than pumping."  I wanted to scream that she was discounting how much I had tried and that I was more concerned that DS was getting enough food.  Part of me really hopes that when it is time for DC2 that it will just miraculously happen and be easy that time around.
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  • SofkaSofka
    I'm so sorry, I know I'd feel the same way if I had gone thru what you went thru only to find out my LO no longer wants to BF, I'd be devastated.
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  • nolebridenolebride
    I'm so sorry that this has been such a struggle for you both. I don't have much advice but I will ditto what Lindsey said in that it's perfectly normal to feel sad. If it's a big deal to you then it is a Big deal. KWIM? Don't let anyone tell you it's not. Just remember to try not to be hard on yourself. You're doing everything you can. He's going to be just fine no matter what happens. GL!
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  • ArtslvrArtslvr
    imageLindseyJW:

    i can tell that it matters to YOU how the BM gets there, and that's what is important here. he's getting the BM, that's not the issue. the issue is you feel sad about how he's getting it, and that's ok.

    This is so true.  I exclusively pumped for four months with #1 and six months with #2 after trying EVERYTHING to get those girls to latch.  And people are like "she's still getting breast milk" (and my supply was abundant and never the issue) but you feel sad that you can't do the actual nursing... I totally get that. 

    I feel for you, and you've done really well, and we're here for you! 

    Wife, Musician, Fed, WW-er, and Mom of three little kids - not necessarily in that order.
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  • eeclemeeclem

    I'm so sorry - I'm sure you're incredibly disappointed. You're probably already doing this, but are the nipples on his bottles the slowest flow kind? It sounds like the little guy is getting frustrated that mommy isn't as fast as his bottle.

    Good luck! You've gone through a lot and are trying your damnedest. Give yourself a ton of credit for that!

    The DC Nest. Winers welcome.
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  • rnin02rnin02 member
    i'm so sorry, i know its frustrating. i remember being surprised how difficult breastfeeding really! I'm sure the lactation consultants have already had you try this, but just in case...have you tried using  a supplemental nurser system? that might keep him satisfied enough to keep nursing. also have you tried using sheilds? i've heard they help a baby make the transition from a bottle back to mom. good luck with everything, i know its hard and overwhelming!
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  • emackemack
    I am so sorry to hear this. It is so heartbreaking not to have a choice in all this and I imagine this is really tough for both of you. I hope that it gets easier.
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