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Adoption
CaptainSerious
member
***kirstenw05***
CaptainSerious
member
in Adoption
You mentioned having an emotional Friday. Anything you want to talk about?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: ***kirstenw05***
When I was getting ready to leave for work this am, I went to DH crib (yahoo! she's finally in a real crib) and I watched her sleep for a moment...and I was just so sad I couldn't stay home and just be with her. Not just today, but every day. My DH were not prepared for her arrival, so we aren't in a position to have me quit my job (I make more $$)...and it bums me out that I have to miss a lot, and knowing her BM isnt around...I feel like I'm the one that should be making up for it.
SEE?? Just over emotional. Still have no answers to IF as we haven't even gotten to that yet...haven't seen doctors, etc. but have a 5 month old and am not ready to be PG right now.
I've been inspired to start a blog of my own (who doesnt have one these days) just as an outlet for my thoughts and feelings...and that started this week, but I need to find time to get all the back story done so I can get it out of my brian.
Then there's the 10 year old...also just a niece...same mother as DD...maturing, worries about her mother all the time and trying to get her counseling through MediCal...that has me in circles.
AND...last home study is next Wed. and I dont have all my paperwork together. Boy I need that glass of red wine tonight!!!
Sorry so long...this is just scatching the surface!
Also, I really appreciate your answer to my "tough night" post below. It really made an impact on me and I've been doing a lot of thinking.
I wrote a response, and would love to share it with you, but it got quite detailed and personal, and I'd rather send it to you privately than post it on the board. Do you have an e-mail address you wish to share?
Ok, I'll stop now...
Oh Sweetie!
It sounds like you are feeling a bit overwhelmed now that your daughter is more settled and the situation isn?t quite as new. Things are starting to sink in, and it sounds like you are starting to realize that this changes all your plans for how you were going to build your family. From your post, it sounds like you are worried that you may not be able to pursue a biological child as a result. That?s a lot to deal with at once!
Sure, we all face the idea that our family might not be built the same way as others, but we get time to process that and deal with the emotions connected to that before adding each new member of our family. You, on the other had, have always had to provide for your new child first, and deal with your emotions when you get a chance. I feel for you.
And I know it must be incredibly difficult to deal with your children?s birth mother. I know you are mad at her for making the choices she has, and it must be so challenging to try to mask those feelings for your daughters? sakes. It must be even more trying to help your daughter as she attempts to help her birth mother. The rollercoaster that must put you on!
You have every reason in the world to feel what you are and to take some time out to try to work through them. Is there someone who can come watch them for a weekend while you and your husband get away? I think you need to have some quiet time with him to ?just be,? and maybe to talk about some of the changes your family is going through, and how you are each feeling about them. I know a weekend doesn?t give a lot of discussion time to work things through, but it?s a start, and should help you and your husband reconnect.
And please, always feel free to vent here. I can?t be the only one to burden the board with all my emotional baggage! I know I?m here to talk to others going through similar situations; to try to help them and to see I?m not alone. I?m sure that most the other posters are here for the same reason!