Ever Walk out of RE Office feeling like....

EdithR · October 2008

It's just one big business? I get that feeling all the time. I know that they deserve their salary and everything, but it would help to have some emotion. It's like all they care about is how much they can milk out of you. If you get pregnant on IVF#1, then you're lucky, but if not, don't worry because you can keep trying and they can keep collecting. If it doesn't work out after all of your tries then it's just bad luck. That's how I feel lately. The guy couldn't tell me to my face about his conference. I had to find out from his receptionist when I tried scheduling my next cycle, and all they could say is "we'll call you back". I went on many conferences and I always knew what day it was on and for how long I would be away. How can he not know if he'll be away the week of Nov 17th? If it's a problem, then I can wait til January, that's not an issue. It just stupid how he can't communicate and be honest. I'm pushing for a date, just want to schedule my life.

naflmj · October 2008

Im sorry you are experiencing this! I actually switched centers because I fely this way when I initially met my 1st doc. It isn't a nice feeling when you have so many other emotions going on with all that IF issues.

somethingchangd · October 2008

I did get that feeling with some of my REs (I'm on #4) and it's so frustrating. I also hated that they had these fancy schmancy offices, big receptions for new clients with open bar, etc. To me that's just money wasted that could've made my cycles cheaper. I finally found an RE who didn't give me that feeling at all. Her office is small and unimpressive. Nothing is fancy about her at all. But she's (relatively) cheap and has the best success rates in the city, so a plain-jane office obviously doesn't mean anything.

If you don't feel genuinely cared about by your doctor, keep looking around. There are some great, compassionate REs out there - sometimes you just have to go looking for them!

SunMoon&Stars · October 2008

Ohhhhh, yes I have. My first visit to the RE got me a horrible diagnosis (ovarian aging) and a poor prognosis for ever conceiving naturally, with IVF being my only option and no, no clomid for me.

Five minutes later, while still feeling like a knife had been shoved into my chest, I was whisked into another room to meet with the nurse who immediately began whipping off a list of instructions at 100 miles an hour. She rattled off a list of tests that was on their "advanced maternal age" protocol. "you need to do this, you need to have that, blah blah blah" bloodwork, EKG treadmill stress test, glucose tolerance, before you get pregnant....ummm, the doctor just said I couldn't get pergnant w/o IVF.

Now this will be an unpopular opinion, but having worked in cardiology for seventeen years, I can tell you that medicine is far more money-driven than most laypeople realize or want to admit. I see this "big business" mentality every single day and I see no reason why it wouldn't exist in other fields of medicine as well.

nrjf01 · October 2008

My RE does not make me feel that way. But some of the nurses do. The one time a nurse called three of from the waiting room at once they directed us to rooms one, two, and three. I kind of felt like cattle being lead to the different stalls.

schmoodle · October 2008

To be honest, this is one of the reasons we chose to see the REs that work for the hospital/med school rather than a private clinic (in addition to their reputation and success rates). I know for a fact it isn't a private business, so I don't get that feeling of being just a number or them trying to make money off of me at all. (Not to say all private clinics are like this, but I'm sure many are).

sachi · October 2008

I HATED my re office! It was so cold and sterile. I went only for a diagnosis and when I told them I didn't plan to do any treatments they literally said "then why are you here?!" It was awful-I wrote them a horrid letter b/c we had such a bad experience there-I can write a book-so yes I have just felt like a number there and it was sad.

GypsyEsq · October 2008

Well I'm much earlier in this journey than some of you and so I think I might still be wearing my rose-colored glasses but I try to remember that I am just one patient -- the number of open/active files on my RE nurse's desk is amazing to me and I'm frankly surprised that they don't have to look at my photo each time I come in. That said though I feel like achieving a pregnancy is such a personal and intimate thing (or you know would be but for the RE) that they should take slightly more care in getting to know us and being responsive to our needs. I imagine it's a hard line to walk for them -- they are a business but the truth is that their success is measured by more than just profits. They also need the statistics to back them up so we are pretty important to them. *sigh* add this to the list of things that suck about IF.

happytracy · October 2008

Yes. A lot lately.

EdithR · October 2008

I'm glad I have this board. It's so much better speaking to people who can relate

jenbabe · October 2008

I feel the same way about my RE. I actually prefer to see his nurses or his physcian assistant. I try to remember the names of the nurses I like so I can request them to call me back. All he does is push IVF and is not understanding of us wanting to do some IUIs first. Yes I know we have bad odds but EVERY time I see him he gives me the same donor sperm/IVF speech. No matter how many times I explain myself to him. Unfortunatly he's the only one in the area so I put up with it. Luckily I learn so much on this board that I know what I want and I"m not easily persuaded into just doing what the doc says. I totally agree they are trying to collect, yes IVF may give us a baby quicker but I still think he has his paycheck in mind every time he pushes for it. When I called to schedule my IUI it was the weekend and he was on call so I scheduled it directly with him, and he was like "so this is with donor sperm right?". I was like "No, WTF do I have to do to get it through to you? Donor sperm is not something we are even considering and I've told you that fifty million times!!". Of course I was polite but its hard sometimes.

EdithR · October 2008

Jenbabe,

I know what you mean about the donor sperm. That gets to me all the time. It's like they just read a pamphlet and repeat what it says. Every woman is different. We might all have a uterus and ovaries, but still, each one of us is unique in our own way.

Dr.Loretta · October 2008

That's how it felt at my first RE's office. I switched REs because we were tired of being treated like a number by an IF industry that just wanted our $.

prayin4ablssn · October 2008

I'm starting to feel this way. We've been going since May and nothing has worked so far. Each procedure I do, my RE always says she has such high hopes and blah blah this, just be patient. I feel like telling her I could be a lot more patient if I wasn't having to beg, borrow and steal the money to pay for her services. However, my RE office is real nice and I truly appreciate their expertise. Don't be afraid to voice your concerns! You are paying them so you should be treated with respect!

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