Babies: 3 - 6 Months

MIL let her CIO today

I had to leave dd with mil, whom I completely trust and like. She told me when I got back that as soon as I left Olivia cried for 30 min and she (mil) decided to put her in the crib and closed the door. She said: she cried and finally calmed down and slept. I don't have the heart to CIO and did not feel comfortable with that. If mil needed a break, I could understand but I don't think that was the case. I did not say anything but it clearly bugs me. Am I overreacting? I guess I just wish she could have asked me where I stand on the subject. Ok vent over

Re: MIL let her CIO today

  • I would have flipped out.

    I would definitely tell her not to do that in the future. Poor baby. :-(

     

    image Lucy, 12/27/2009
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  • I would have told her that we do not practice CIO and to please not do it again.
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  • As much as I am on you side how you feel sometimes I think people who are old schooled know better. If she soothed herself and slept she is learning then. But yet I feel bad!1
  • I would've told her how you felt. And I don't think you are overreacting, if you don't feel comfortable with CIO, then you should let her know so she doesn't do it again.
  • We have made a decision to not do CIO and I would be more upset than you seem! 

    I dont care what the issue is (CIO, solid introduction, discipline, etc) it is your child and you have the right to say how they are treated. 

  • Well, we don't CIO and I don't believe in it.

    That said, if I'm getting "free" daycare from a family member, I feel like I do have to be more forgiving on the rules. Would it upset me? Yes. But "old school" parents have a different philosophy so I would not be mad, I would just explain why we don't do it that way in our house.

    But truthfully, if MIL let her CIO once, while I won't be happy about it, I don't believe it will give my baby trust issues for life so I wouldn't turn it into a huge deal. Least of all if you want free childcare from her in the future.

  • I think I would be pretty mad, but then again, both my parents and my ILs know where DH and I stand on CIO (which is that we are willing to consider it, but not at this point, not till she's at least 6 months). So I would be mad that she had just completely disregarded my wishes. If your MIL didn't know you were against it, I don't think you can get too upset about it. I would just tell her that you don't believe in CIO, so you would like for her to not do that again.
  • That would have made me really angry. I think I would have had to immediately say something to her!
  • About 4 years ago, I watched my nephew and I let him cry for 20 minutes- but that was only because I didn't know any better.  I thought that was what you were supposed to do when they wouldn't stop crying!  My brother told me, somewhat sternly, that they didn't do that, and I felt horrible.  What you said about your situation reminds me of that, and chances are if you tell your MIL, she won't do it again.  And she may not have even known that was a subject about which you would have a stand.  I would just explain to her you don't do that and cut her a bit of slack on this one.  GL!  Big Smile
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