Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
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Grief Counselor/therapist?
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So I am at the point where I feel "normal" again. Don't get me wrong I will have moments of weakness where I lose it but for the most part I am a functioning human being again. My dh suggested we go to a therapist to help us deal with this as he thinks I am just putting on a brave face (which sometimes I am). He is concerned for me and us as a couple and just wants to make sure we deal with the sadness appropriately. I guess my question is if you went to a counselor did you find it helpful. I am NOT into therapy and I don't know how talking to a total strnger is suppose to help us but I am very curious to your feedback. Was it worth it, did it help you? Thanks in advance!
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Re: Grief Counselor/therapist?
My hospital has a group therapy session once a month for m/c / infant loss. We went a couple of weeks ago and it really helped me. It helped me feel less alone and I was able to be open with people who understood. I don't know if going to a regular therapist would have helped as much as they wouldn't know what I was going through. Or at least I wouldn't they they would.
The therapy didn't help MH very much except to know that how I'm handling my grief is normal and better ways to help me. He won't be going back next month, but I will be.
My DH and I began seeing a grief counselor after our third loss and it has been a wonderful experience. It's not about "talking to a total stranger," it's about carving out a specific time, in a neutral place, with a neutral third party who is trained to steer conversations to a helpful conclusion and talking about all the complex emotions that go along with grief.
My husband and I have a wonderful relationship, and we talk all the time. But there is something about the environment and having the counselor there to help us elaborate on certain points we might otherwise have missed that has been amazing.
She has really helped, if nothing else, DH find some resolution and peace with his family, when he was struggling with what he felt was their insensitivity towards what we are going through. She honestly saved their relationships and made them stronger.
I am glad to see you had a very positive experience.
Hey! I was totally feeling exactly like you are about the whole therapy thing. Everyone kept telling me that I was doing "SO WELL" with everything, but my mom, who also lost a baby, told me that she thought he same thing... but that it affected her a few years later. She started seeing a therapist then and learned that she hadn't been coping as well as she thought she had. I started seeing a therapist and she was awesome. She doesn't really tell me anything that I don't already know from all of the reading that i've done etc., but it's been really nice to actually hear from a professional that she thinks I'm doing what i need to be doing. I guess if anything, it validates my feelings.
I would call your OB's office. Mine is located in a women's center and there's a therapist who specializes in miscarriage, stillbirth and early infant loss. If yours doesn't have their own there, they will be able to recommend someone to you. That way, even though it is a complete stranger, it will be someone who specializes in what you're dealing with, not just a general psychologist, etc.
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