Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

*~Tuesday Confessions ~*

That's right, ladies. It's that time again where we say our confessions, things we may not be proud of...but what makes us human. Sometimes the reminder that others are human too helps us heal. 

 Please remember ladies, as I said, we're all human, and we are not proud of things we do a lot of the time. Don't flame someone for something they've said. Feel free to say something, but be thoughtful of others please and make this a confession, not a stone-throw :)

 My confession this week: I've spent more time at the doctor this last few months due to OB things and take so many things, I feel like I've surpassed my grandmother in pill box size to feel "normal" again.

 Do you have a confession? I'm here to listen and cry or laugh with you no matter how big or little that thing that happened. I try to do this at least once a week so we can get things off our chests.  

imageVincent Julian born on March 27th, 2013 DX with Down Syndrome image
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Re: *~Tuesday Confessions ~*

  • I get nervous to talk about how well I'm doing right now for fear that people will think I'm lying, gloating or trying to make them feel worse. Yes I still have more horrible times, but I've been feeling really good for the past week and a half.
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  • I know how you feel, I am afraid to say I feel good for fear someone will think I was a horrible mother. *hugs*
    imageVincent Julian born on March 27th, 2013 DX with Down Syndrome image
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  • I am sick of office people just popping by my cube at work to say "Im so sorry"

    All I can muster is a thank you but they all seem like they want me to say more. I wish they'd just leave me alone and let me put my head down and distract myself with work. 

      

    My Food Blog - Dinner Delish
    TTC since Oct '09
    Missed miscarriage 3/24/10 @ 16 wks, Partial Molar Pregnancy
    Began our IF journey in May '11
    Asherman's Diagnosis (cervical & uterine scarring) - Surgery 8/17/11
    IUIs #1-#5 & 1 canceled IUI, IVF #1, 2 FETs - all BFN
    IVF# 2 December '12, BFP 1/13! EDD 9/21 
    Complete Previa and Short Cervix. C-section scheduled for 9/3
    Delivered 8/5 @ 33 weeks, 4lbs, 6oz. 
    4-week NICU stay, home 9/3
  • Just finished AF and now I am trying to trick DH into TTC again. He doesn't know it yet though. I want to start and he doesn't.
  • I am excited at the news that we can TTC again after my period comes. It makes me feel a little guilty that I am starting to move on and feel a little better. I know I will never forget my little angel, but I am also excited to look to the future.
  • Our edd is next week and I am worried that none of my family or friends will remember.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

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  • A co-worker at work today brought in her sonogram pictures.  She just went in to get her sono done to find out the sex of the baby.  She was due one week after me.  I avoided her so I didn't have to see her sono pics.  I'm very excited for her but I didn't want to see the picture of what my baby should have looked like.
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  • A very close friend of mine is being induced and having her baby tomorrow.  I feel like I *should* go to the hospital to visit her after the baby's born, but I can't do it.  Emotionally I think I still won't be able to handle it, so I won't put myself in that situation.  I need to do what's right for me right now, but I still feel incredibly guilty about it.  
    Mom to Boy/Girl twins born 8/2005 (IUI+inj.) 1st IVF= failed 11/2009 (IVF) Lost identical twins 3/10 (FET #1)Early m/c 6/2010 (FET #2) Twin Boys! Born 3/21/2011 @ 36w3d
  • I'm extremely jealous of pregnant women!! I had a women tell me the other day that she was pregnant and she was just glowing about it....and all I wanted to do was kick and scream like a little kid!! Then I get angry at women who don't even seem to care that they're pregnant...I saw a woman having not 1 but 2 glasses of wine at a bar the other night. I go through wild emotions of anger/resentment/sadness/bitterness....I feel "normal" again but I don't want to feel normal, I want to feel pregnant. A bit of a rant, but glad I just got that off my chest lol

     

    BFP - 02/05/10 no heartbeat found at 8 weeks on 03/02/10 Partial M/C - 03/17/10 D&C 03/23/10 BFP - 02/05/11 Make yourself at home baby :)Daisypath Anniversary tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Sometimes it feels like I was never pregnant at all...like just a dream or something.  I feel like I am forgetting my baby. 
  • I don't want to be anywhere near pregnant women or babies.  I'm skipping a friend's shower next week because I can't pretend to be happy when I'm dying inside.

     

  • I was feeling better, until i saw my BFFs US pic yesterday...her baby is perfect and at the same point that I lost mine!

    I feel like all I can think about is being pregnant again. and TTC... I am almost obsessing about it. 

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  • I almost tackled a woman at a wedding last weekend when I saw her smoking cigarettes and drinking a beer... she was hugely pregnant!  My husband had to "hold me back"! I started to tear up, but they were tears of anger... I was a little embarrassed.  
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  • I get irrationally annoyed and angry when I see pregnant women that have small toddlers.  That was supposed to be me.  I was supposed to have 2 close in age.  I'm insanely jealous that mine will be 3 or more years apart.  I know I shouldn't complain because I have a daughter, but I still get envious.  And I hate that I feel this way.
  • I have become so bitter I don't even like myself.  My dad mentioned all the flooding on the east coast yesterday and my response was "if their biggest problem is water damage they have no problems".  In my head I know other people are going through devestating things but according to my heart unless they lost someone or their child is ill it just doesn't count.  I want to get back my sympathy for others.  I think this experiance has made me mean....
    Natural BFP - 2/13/10, Natural M/C - 3/9/10 (Missed m/c found at 8wks 4days) Prenatal B/W shows I'm a Beta Thal carrier & so is DH. Onto IVF w/PGD... Jan 2011 - IVF #1 - C/P Mar 2011 - IVF #2 - Day 5 PGD, no ET, 5 snow babies May 2011 - FET #1 - BFP!! Twins!!! 2/9/12 - Our precious miracles arrived! Baby A 7lbs 13oz & Baby B 5lbs 13oz
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