When will you tell people?

CourtneyJay37 · March 2010

I have told a select few people at work and will tell our parents this weekend. As far as telling everyone else...when will you? I guess I don't mind every one knowing...more support if (God forbid) anything happens.

eminbmore · March 2010

We're thinking about telling our parents this weekend, and my best friends know already. We'll probably hold off on a "big announcement" (FB, work friends, extended family, etc.) until 12-15 weeks.

clayswife · March 2010

This weekend we're telling our families I'll be 12.5-13 weeks. After that, friends and work in the next couple of weeks.

ETA: as of today, the only people who know are DH, DS (sort of) and me It's actually been fun having a secret

noah-bear · March 2010

I've told my neighbour (who also had a m/c and we've become close), my best friend (which I regret telling him) and another friend (who I am happy I told)

No one else knows yet. I'm hoping to keep it quiet until 10-12 weeks at the earliest. 2nd tri would be preferable.

Camok87 · March 2010

We told our immediate families at 5 weeks, and extended family on the weekend just gone (10 weeks). A few close friends know, but we won't go 'public' until after our 13 weeks scan :-)

irlndsumer · March 2010

I had two previous losses, so we're very careful about telling people this time. We told our closest friends this weekend- well, more like they figured it out the second they realized I wasn't drinking! The same thing happened with my boss on Friday--- feeling sick on Wed + NOT drinking at a spring training game = boss hounding you about being pregnant. Nice.

We will tell our parents next week after our first ultrasound and we know there is a heartbeat. Everyone else we will tell at 12 weeks, which happens to be right around Mother's Day.

wife1014 · March 2010

I told my sis and BFF right away. The moms (close friends) in my moms group after my first appt (in case anything happened and I needed childcare for daughter). My mom, dad, mother-in-law last week and my FIL will find out on Easter. Everyone else will find out when they figure it out. I am not an announcer...

NSL · March 2010

Two of my closest friends know (one because I eat lunch with him at work and needed to explain why I had to leave the day he brought a tuna sandwich) but that's it. I don't think I'll tell anyone else until our first ultrasound.

kleopatra09 · March 2010

everyone knows already. It's more exciting to be excited with others. And like you said, God forbid something happens, family will be the love and support they're supposed to be.

this is besides the fact I couldn't keep a secret like this to save my life

moonfaerie · March 2010

kleopatra09:

And like you said, God forbid something happens, family will be the love and support they're supposed to be.

I hope none of you ever have to experience this, but in my experience it is more painful to tell people the good news, then have to tell them the bad news a few weeks later. Many people do not know how to react and despite meaning well end up upsetting you even more or alienating you for a while.

So you can tell I keep it a secret. We'll tell our fams maybe at 10 weeks and friends shortly after. I will not tell work until I'm showing and unable to hide it.

klmbride05 · March 2010

We're telling the IL's on Easter and a couple friends know now and more will know soon. I am not one to keep a secret. I suck at it.

moonfaerie · March 2010

PS I don't mean to be a buzzkill but trust me, every time you have to tell someone else the sad news, your heart breaks even more than you ever thought was possible

CourtneyJay37 · March 2010

kleopatra09:
everyone knows already. It's more exciting to be excited with others. And like you said, God forbid something happens, family will be the love and support they're supposed to be.

this is besides the fact I couldn't keep a secret like this to save my life

I'm with you, I have no ability to keep a secret like this!

mrsdanigirl8 · March 2010

My first pregnancy ended in m/c so my second was a bit harder to share the news. I waited till 8 weeks to tell immediate family, 10 weeks to tell the rest of the family and 12 weeks for work.

I plan on telling family at 6 weeks this time around and will wait as long as possible to tell work. I'm part time so I can cover it up pretty well.

kuma08 · March 2010

12 weeks is our marker! I just cant hold it in any longer OMG! Funny thing is however I had a dream that my parents already knew!

misthang_1 · March 2010

moonfaerie:
kleopatra09:

And like you said, God forbid something happens, family will be the love and support they're supposed to be.

I hope none of you ever have to experience this, but in my experience it is more painful to tell people the good news, then have to tell them the bad news a few weeks later. Many people do not know how to react and despite meaning well end up upsetting you even more or alienating you for a while.

So you can tell I keep it a secret. We'll tell our fams maybe at 10 weeks and friends shortly after. I will not tell work until I'm showing and unable to hide it.

This. It was excruciating "untelling" everyone. So only a few select people know...until we are out of the 1st Trimester.

mrsseguin · March 2010

I've told my sister and 2 friends. We aren't going to tell anyone else until I have an ultrasound. It sucked having to tell everyone about my first m/c, the whole world knew I was pregnant. With my second m/c, only a few people knew I was pregnant, it was much easier to deal with not telling the whole world about another m/c.

****AWS**** · March 2010

We have already told our family and I told my best friend but that's it. I heard the HB on my home doppler this morning so was tempted to tell some other friends and FB but will probably wait until 12 weeks.

Teach84 · March 2010

We told our immediate families right away... I told a few people at work shortly after too. Now that we've seen the heartbeat we will probably tell a few more close friends.

KhloesMom · March 2010

CourtneyJay37:
I have told a select few people at work and will tell our parents this weekend. As far as telling everyone else...when will you? I guess I don't mind every one knowing...more support if (God forbid) anything happens.

We're following your plan, exactly. I told my colleagues yesterday and we're telling the family (or more specifically, Khloe is telling our family) on Easter.

We bought this t-shirt for her to tell:

https://www.cafepress.com/+i_have_a_secret_big_sister_infanttoddler_tshirt,99695251

trizzie · March 2010

if we see the heartbeat and all goes well today- we will tell today. that is when we told with ds. i didn't tell anyone i was pregnant when i m/c, but i did tell my close friends after the fact.

cocojack10 · March 2010

In-laws already know, and my best friend. We plan on telling my parents today, or tomorrow. And are waiting for our first u/s next Friday to spill the beans to the rest of the family. I'll hold off a bit before announcing it at work, maybe 10-12 wks.

julie71406 · March 2010

We are celebrating family birthdays and easter this weekend so we will use that as our opportunity to tell family. My best friend already knows. I won't be saying anything at work until at least after my first appointment in a couple weeks.

Angel002 · March 2010

My mom knew right away, I can't keep things from her, she'd ask me anyway. I told my sister Monday after my 1st dr.'s visit (they were wondering why I was so b*tchy - ha). My husband told cautiously told his parents (told them we are just waiting to see what happens).

I am going to try and not tell my job until the 12th or 13th week when my coworker comes back on her maternity leave (to try and not freak my boss out) and prob everyone else around that time too to make sure everything is going ok.

Temp950106187509203 · March 2010

We're telling at a day or two shy of 12w. I'd like to wait until we're a ways into second tri, but both our families will be together for H's graduation, and we'd like to tell them at the same time, since it's the first grandbaby on both sides.

ETA: Ditto the girls who said "untelling" is excruciating. We only told a couple of friends last time, and breaking the news of the loss was awful. I actually preferred people not knowing about the pg at all, as I need a lot of privacy to process grief. Attempts at support from even more well-meaning but clueless friends/family members would not have helped me.

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